Writing out puns

If I understand your question, you generally use the "replacement word(s)" (if it's that sort of pun).

You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

"I thought your nose was funny but its snot"

What they said.

I have a story about a massage therapist titled Kneading More.

i'm not a big fan of puns, but this is something i've wondered about more than once. nice thread. i approve.

Al Capone was staying at a hotel in Chicago and left his brand new spats outside his room for cleaning.

During the night a stray cat got at them and scratched them all to hell.
Next morning Al flew into a rage when he discovered the damage and sent his henchman out to find the cat responsible.

Half an hour later there was a knock at his door. When Capone answered it, his henchman was stood there all scratched and bleeding with a twisting and squirming moggy in his hands and said:



'Pardon me Al, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?'

OK, how about this one:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing, and
concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in
an accident"



"Oh No", the President exclaims. "That's terrible".



His staff sit there, stunned at this display of emotion, nervously
watching as the President slumps, head in hands. Finally the
President looks up and asks...



"How many is a Brazillion?"
__________________



Does this count as a pun?

You're gonna wish you hadn't started this thread...

Emperor Nero was bored one day so he called
for one of his slaves, told him to hold
the palace gong and lie down on the floor.
He then stood on the slaves chest and
starting hitting hell into the gong.
This caused the rest of his household
to come running.
'Nero, Nero' They called out, 'what are you
doing?'

And Nero sang:

'I'm chiming a gong on the chest of a slave....'

The Capone and the Nero examples are feghoots, I think. I've always loved feghoots