Loglines can be tricky.
Main character
Goal
Stakes
Opposition.
I think what is at stake is far more important than the opposition. What is at stakes makes us feel invested in the story, whereas the opposition, not so much. For this reason the following logline is not as good as it can be.
Main Character = Dorthy, lonely farm girl.
Goal = to get home.
Stakes = lost forever in OZ?
Opposition = Witch, others.
The above doesn't show stakes or opposition. It does tell us it is a dangerous journey, but that doesn't tell us who the opposition is. It hints at the danger of being lost in Oz forever, or losing her family forever, which is often enough.
After a twister sucks a lonely farm girl to a magical land, she struggles against witches, evil flying monkeys, and other fantastical beings in order to find a wizard with the power to send her home.
That now shows some oposition, but perhaps only the witch is necessary to mention.
or
After a twister sucks a lonely farm girl to a magical land, she struggles against a witch on her dangerous journey to find the wizard that can send her home.
This one is good because it shows the stakes: a patient commiting suicide.
This could be reworded to name the stakes.
A doctor -- falsely accused of murdering his wife -- struggles to find her killer before a relentless FBI agent throws him in prison.
Silence of the Lambs
A restless FBI agent, who struggles for a promotion, must consult with a brilliant forensic psychiatrist, who is also a cannibal killer, to save the Senator's daughter before Buffalo Bill kills her.
But maybe it is stronger with just saying cannibal killer, as that is the real hook.
A restless FBI agent, who struggles for a promotion, must consult a cannibal killer to save the Senator's daughter before Buffalo Bill kills her.
It seems to be her goal is a promotion, leveling up in the FBI, but her need is to save the daughter in order to silence her lambs.
My logline for my recently screenplay:
A troubled ancient must reincarnate to save his lover from annihilation, all while uncovering the universes’ best kept secret: God is a deceiver. Now every soul will be annihilated unless he can find the key to survival.
I don't know if I should put the second sentence in or not. Without it, we don't know the stakes for God being a deceiver.