The Triolet Trail

kborsden

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The triolet is somewhat of a rarity, maybe because some incorrectly see it as little more than a shorter (and therefore also easier) version of a pantoum or villanelle. This poem and thread sparked an idea - we've had the Haiku Chain (many of them), the Cinquain Train (2 I know of), now I'd like to suggest the first Triolet Trail.

A triolet is a poem consisting of two stanzas of four verses each (8 verses in total) - however the metric count is independent of the form, so tetrameter, pentameter, hexameter, heptameter, octameter etc all acceptable, even in alternation or each verse its own - but anything above hexameter would be rather imposing to come across and quite a challenge to write (especially, say, octameter). The tri (3) in the triolet is reference to the first verse appearing 3 times: verse 1, verse 4, verse 7. Additionally the 2nd verse is repeated also as the final verse and the rhyme scheme is strict ABAA ABAB. Sometimes stanzas are presented as a single merged stanza - as I suggest we do in this thread.

So as to function for a game - the 2nd verse which is repeated as the last verse of every triolet will function as the first verse of the following triolet - a visual diagram to elucidate:

(number is the verse in repetition, x is non repeated verse, letter is rhyme)

1A
2B
xA
1A
xA
xB
1A
2B

Every new post will use verse 2 of the previous poem as verse 1... does that make sense?

_________________________________

As a show of good will - and because I just have to, I'll go first:


For a time, watching the willow,
enveloped in its obscure gloves:
green snakes that catch the soft billows
for a time. Watching the willow
in sights caught close in cloud pillows
as precedents of lucid love --
for, a time, watching the willow
enveloped in its obscured gloves.


_________________________________

Your line to start: enveloped in its obscure gloves


Extra Information: Anyone feeling suitably inspired by this thread or thinking of exploring the possibilities for publishing repeating forms such as triolet, pantoum, villanelle, rondeau, sestina etc should pop over to Tilt-a-Whirl magazine. As can be expected - polish your offering, then polish again -- and make sure to read the guidelines thoroughly before you submit. They even have a cheat sheet to help you tighten up your piece prior to submission.

note: tilt-a-whirl magazine closed its doors in August 2014, but is still available as an archived resource.
 
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CDSinex

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Enveloped in its obscure gloves! Kei, that was just a plain mean prompt. :D If I take any more time to fix this someone else will beat me to it.

Enveloped in its obscure gloves,
protected from this driving rain,
the gentle hand extends in love,
enveloped, in its obscure gloves.
It softly holds a wounded dove.
Will it then try to ease the pain,
enveloped in its obscure gloves?
Protected, from this driving rain.
 

CDSinex

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This is not autobiographical (at least not recent)

Inside the heart and mind alone,
well hidden from your prying eyes—
a sin for which I can't atone.
Inside the heart and mind alone
where guilt weighs heavy on my bones,
a pocket of deceit and lies.
Inside the heart and mind, alone,
well hidden, from your prying eyes.
 
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kborsden

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Well hidden from your prying eyes,
the world turns inward on itself.
I shy away my face and hide
well hidden; from your prying eyes,
I sense in life heaven's demise.
Civil unrest placed on the shelf –
well hidden from your prying eyes.
The world turns inward on itself.
 

Perscribo

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The world turns. Inward on itself,
a leaf folds in mute tragedy.
Up close, in front row, sits an elf.
The world turns inward. On itself,
it reflects on the greed and pelf.
The maestro ends the symphony.
The world turns inward on itself.
A leaf folds in mute tragedy.
 

CDSinex

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A leaf folds in mute tragedy,
with the threat of fall looming near.
As the wary geese look to see
a leaf, folds, in mute tragedy.
They have a warmer place to be
the death of summer's what they fear.
A leaf folds in mute tragedy,
with the threat of fall looming near
 

kborsden

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-- With the threat of fall looming near -- not the easiest... and I'm not entirely happy with the result, but it seems to work:

With the threat of fall looming near,
green trees seem dryad fallacy.
I wipe away a solemn tear
with the threat of fall; looming near
the summer’s shadow, pink is clear:
forgotten childhood atrophy
with the threat of fall. Looming, near
green trees seem dryad fallacy.
 
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kborsden

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:D You're a vindictive swine, Dave, ;)

but fair is fair -- what do you think of 'green trees seem dryad fallacy'?
 

CDSinex

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Green trees seem dryad fallacy,
the mighty woodsman smells like sweat
as Artemis prepares to flee.
Green trees seem dryad. Fallacy
compounded, the stench? Quite ghastly!
Need to go far as I can get,
green trees –seem dryad fallacy.
The mighty woodsman, smells like sweat


 

kborsden

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-- reference to the famous Monty Python sketch - could never do that sketch justice

The mighty woodsman smells like sweat,
he works all night and sleeps all day,
and those who have met him have said,
'the mighty woodsman smells'. Like sweat
dries, the dream fades, and he sells pets
in truth - molded from mental clay,
the mighty woodsman; smells like sweat
and works all night. He sleeps all day...
 
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Perscribo

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Decided to use your L2 instead of L8, Kie. (they didn't exactly match..and of course the former was easier!)

He works all night and sleeps all day
behind the shades. The sun is barred,
as is the crowd, to mock the way
he works all night (and sleeps). All day
he hides from glare that beams his way,
"Why crash at the punch of a card?
He works all night--and sleeps!" All day,
behind the shades, the sun is barred.
 
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RyanLKing

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Can we say challenging?! I think I did this right.


Behind the shades. The sun is barred,
Keeping the vampire safe from harm,
Protecting his skin from getting charred,
Behind the shades. The sun is barred,
Too easy do the sun’s rays bombard,
For the sun is immune to his charm,
Behind the shades. The sun is barred,
Keeping the vampire safe from harm,
 

kborsden

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Decided to use your L2 instead of L8, Kie. (they didn't exactly match..and of course the former was easier!)

I know it says in the instructions to use verse 2 - but in all fairness, I don't think it really matters as liberties are taken with punctuation in any if not all the repeated lines.

Not the best offering:

Keeping the vampire safe from harm,
the coffin closed. Until sunrise,
Van Helsing waves his slaying arm,
keeping the vampire. Safe from harm
the virgin wanders homeward, calmed.
No more warm blood, but bottled prize
keeping the vampire safe from harm,
the coffin closed until sunrise.
 
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B.D. Eyeslie

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The coffin closed until sunrise,
As are the Velvet parlor shades.
Anticipating my surprise.
The coffin closed until sunrise.
Stay indoors or say your goodbyes.
Throughout the night, my rounds are made.
The coffin closed until sunrise,
As are the Velvet parlor shades.
 

kborsden

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As are the Velvet parlor shades.

Had to rearrange, setting 'are' to the end of the line - as I can't think of any sentence construct ever starting with 'as are...'- what with it being the latter part of an analogy:

As the Velvet parlor shades are,
so is the canvas wallpaper -
lost to blooming vines; flowered stars
as the velvet. parlor shades are
pastels and hues in views afar.
In as fast as I can caper -
as the Velvet parlor - shades are.
So, is the canvas wallpaper?
 
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JohnL

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So, is the canvas wallpaper?
Peel away the topmost layer,
discern how each remnant tapers.
So, is the canvas wallpaper?
You’ll need buckets and a scraper
to capture laughter and lost prayers.
So, is the canvas wallpaper?
Peel away the topmost layer.
 

kborsden

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Peel away the topmost layer;
scoop the stratosphere. With a spoon,
jam is stacked in vapid prayers.
Peel away the topmost – layer
the bleak cloth of skies gone greyer,
and see winter's harvested moon
peel away. The topmost layer
scooped – the stratosphere with a spoon.
 
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B.D. Eyeslie

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Scooped the stratosphere with a spoon.
The ozone layer melts wih grace.
None fares well or will be immune.
Scooped the stratosphere with a spoon.
Kiddie cake in the festive room.
The Flintstone layer lights her face.
Scooped the stratosphere with a spoon.
The ozone layer melts with grace.
 
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Brandt

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The ozone layer melts with grace,
this vapor shroud of filtered light,
recedes in all its cosmic haste.
The ozone layer melts with grace.
Far be it from the loud debates
to find the cure for space's blight.
The ozone layer melts with grace,
this vapor shroud of filtered light.
 
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