The hunt for real Christians.
Once upon a time, in a far, far away kingdom, there was a wide-eyed boy, searching for meaning in the Universe. He listened to atheists, and gurus, and read books on the occult. These only caused more questions than answers.
Deep down, hardcore atheism, which I leaned to, was indefensible, in that it is always no more than an opinion, and based upon certain Archetypes. Many of the atheists I knew were either mislabeled agnostics, angry at God and protesting his existence, or arrogant, and not wanting a god to interfere with their agendas.
In an Archetype, you start with a collective conclusion and weigh the evidence accordingly, like a stacked deck. "I don't believe in God". Once you start with that premise, then you look for all that is wrong in the world- social injustice, Tsunamis, and you avoid all that is right with the world.
Ultimately, I had to honestly admit, my unbelief was based on the fact that I didn't think the Universe was fair. Not that it wasn't good, but only that it seemed things happened randomly, especially insofar as mankind goes. You don't get to choose your parents, your intelligence, your looks, and so you have these gaps in fairness, where some seem to have one the lottery, and others are sadly thrown into chaos not of their choosing.
Sifting through my brothers pagan libraries, I found interesting stories. At least someone had seen something to suggest there was more to this world than salt, carbon and water. My question with these many paths, was that God seemed milk-toast, who caved in his personality to be manipulated by spells and incantations. It was the tail waging the dog.
If we were in control, then WE were doing a horrible job. If God dropped a box of mystical legos in our laps, and just let us at it, learning to juggle through spells, then why were people using them so selfishly, to "Make others do what you want them to do"-take away their free will.
Now, I'm going to be a little metaphorical here. What if a three eyed wart toad, sitting on a day lillie could cast a spell and make me fall in love with it? Now am I benefited or a victim whose will is stollen?
And frankly, it went well beyond that. I simply knew too many people who were malicious and self-centered, and I believe the truth would make people more loving, less demanding, more "other" focused. But being disenfranchised, and at the time, feeling ugly, which I wasn't. I panicked and wondered if anyone would ever fall in love with me. The ability to make someone love you was tempting. However, in the end, I knew I wanted someone to choose me, and that was the beautiful option, otherwise they were no more than a robot serving my selfish desires. (Tempting)
Still, I figured this was also a puppet/puppetmaster area. Do people have intrinsic power, or are they given powers, Example, Pilate saying to Jesus, "Do you not know I have the power to kill you or free you..."
Jesus answer, "You have NO power, except that which is given to you from above..." Even Satan needed permission to take Judas, and Jesus said, "Go quickly and do what you must do..." Then he entered Judas.
I'm only saying what things I was working through. There are clearly good spirits and bad spirits, and spirits can change form. How could you know you were not dealing with an evil spirit pretending to be a good spirit. And when I looked at spiritists, reading Taylor Caldwell, and looking into Edgar Cayce- well, I could go on and on.
The point is that I was not simply looking for a place to "choose" as if I shopped for a religion. I wanted truth, even if the truth was that there was no God, and we just made up stories to comfort ourselves.
Obviously, if God is God, then he doesn't fit in a box, or our pre-conceived notions. And if any accounts of God were true, then God is able to hear. And I assumed, if God could hear, then why not ask him, "Who are you? Where can I find you? Are all religions a road that leads to you?"
Well, getting an atheist to say a prayer is no small chore. Lets just say, God has a way of getting past our quirks. So, eventually I came to the conclusion that Jesus was the Messiah of the Old Testament. Then later, he was God and not simply a man.
Now, I'm in the middle of a proverbial ocean of choices, and realized that the churches were in a mess, misguided (most) outright decieved (more than a few) and filled with people who had no idea who God was, who Christ was, how they fit in, or what their purpose was in life.
Concerning churches, in general, there is no perfect church. As long as men fill the pews, that will continue to be so. The question though, is not "Where is the best church?" But either, "Where is the best place to grow" for right now. "Where does God want me to be right now..." And these questions are not answers people find over night. In general, "Seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened, and ask and it shall be given" applies.
If our hearts are in the right place, God has a way of taking care of the rest. So the larger issue is always dealing with the stuff in side of us, which may be attitudes, prejudices, stubborness...etc. Being "Alone" is counter-intuitive to Christ's prayer, "That they may be one, even as you and I are one" (See John 17) You can't be one isolated and apart from others.
So, the question is this, "Do we tollerate sup-standard places where there are flawed people?" According to the churches Paul address, and Jesus addressed in Revelations 2-3, if you want to find a really good church, start by going to a nation where Christians are impoverished, and suffering persecution. If you want to find selfish, and self-centered churches, then start by looking in places of relative wealth and ease.
Of course that is a little tongue in cheek answer. But it is true that sorrows and trials purify people. "What's more we rejoice in our suffering...for suffering produces...character..." Since most would prefer not changing countries, or cities, I think the best we can do is find the best imperfect church, and the best people within that imperfect church, until something better comes along.
And be proactive. I have said, "The difference between a critic and a prophet are motivation". Both see the problem, one sits on the sidelines complaining about it, the other gets in the game and tries to do something about it.
In other words, we will do better in a flawed church trying to make it a better church, presuming if we see a problem, maybe we were put there to fix it, rather than disbanding from fellowship because we can find nothing but imperfect people.
The whole idea of Paul comparing us to parts of a body, was to imply every part is needed for the whole to opperate right. And not only do we need others, but they need every bit of what we have to offer. So, it comes down to a wisdom decision, "Why was I put on this earth?" If God wants me to have fellowship, which is actually commanded in Hebrews, "Do not forsake the fellowshiping...as some are prone to do..."
But I think its' that sense of futility, "Who am I? What can I do," vs faith, "God can raise up children...from rocks" And if God can use a rock, he can use me...and maybe I am the solution or a catalyst to the solution.
