That was really good!!! The only thing is that last bit when you said his blue shoes left a blue streak....perhaps you should say dark or colorless and even use maybe a mood to describe the streak.....other than that I was intrigued.
Did I just walk into Writing Wonderland?
- Thread starter DanielaTorre
- Start date
Yeah, that part annoys me too, and I wrote it. There's just too much going on. Thanks for the critique!
