Do You Think You Could Respond To This?

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Inky

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The Shofar:

shofar.gif
 

Inky

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Oh...the fun I could have with this...but I'll resist.
No I won't. Yes I will. No, you won't. Yes...I cannot insult a religious item.
Why not? You did just fine with that OTHER item....
shut up about that, would you?


Dreidel.jpg
 

Inky

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Okay...twisted my arm with rep points, so I'll tell my story.
Just remember YOU ASKED!!!
I allowed a friend to talk me into going to one of those sex shops. I'd never been. Too shy. Yeah, me. It's one thing to type the stuff...it's quite another to actually go to one of those....places. The sales associate (we'll just call her Sooz) asks what I'm interested in: Female or Male.
Um. Okay. Duh. Male. But, just for kicks, my friend pipes up and wants me to be shown female stuff. Sooz slaps down on the counter the biggest rubber boobs I'd ever seen--not that I'd ever seen any, but these were DEFINITLY NOT Victoria's Secret. Or were they? Hmmm. Oh, anyway. So I'm wondering...ooookay...what's the point? I was instructed what men like to do with these.
I'll never look at my own again without blushing.
I digress.
So. Then Sooz asks me 'what size?'
"What size what?"
"What size would interest you?"
I scowl. "Just what are we talkin' here?" as I eye the godzilla ta-tas.
With a sigh of complete disgust, she slaps down (they had mombo sized suction cups on the...er..stem underside) on top of the glass counter these...er...Redwood sized...um...tallywackers. And they were weaving...as if top heavy....baaaack and foooorth....

I had arrived.


I'm boring you, aren't I?
 

Eudaemonic

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Not at all, please continue? So how big would you say they were again?
 

Woof

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Do you think the rabbi would have a heart attack on Rosh Hashannah if you came up to him and said in your most sultry voice "I'd like to blow your shofar?"

Since a shofar is made from a ram's horn, could this question also be interpreted to mean "I wish to have indecent relations with your sheep"?

May I pose another question of a strictly religious nature? If you're Jewish and observant and highly sexed, what do you do at Passover when you're forbidden to eat anything that rises?
 

Inky

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Since a shofar is made from a ram's horn, could this question also be interpreted to mean "I wish to have indecent relations with your sheep"?

May I pose another question of a strictly religious nature? If you're Jewish and observant and highly sexed, what do you do at Passover when you're forbidden to eat anything that rises?

I think tea just spewed from my nostrils...OUCH!!!! Tissues?
 

Inky

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I think, after that, I would have to go to a completely differant kind of church for a full confession. See why it's much easier to be Pagan?
 

Woof

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I think, after that, I would have to go to a completely differant kind of church for a full confession.

Aren't you already a church-going member of Our Lady Of Perpetual Indulgence?
 

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You don't confess there; you boast?
 
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