I got some negative feedback from an agent that I disagree with, and I would like to know if it's just his personal taste or if it's something everyone will agree with. The section is only 24 pages long, double-spaced, and it's stand-alone (in other words, it could be a short story). Here's the feedback he gave me:
There was a lot I liked about this, especially how you took the Roman religions at face value, instead of with a modern, dismissive attitude. My guess is that Romans took their religion at least as seriously as moderns take theirs.
The problem for me was in the set-up in the story. The first chapter is superfluous and the second doesn't pull it's weight. Your book really starts in chapter three. I know it seems that you should give us the setting before introducing the problem (that being Tuccia's selection among the other children), but this is backwards. Give us a problem from the first page, resist the urge to stop and explain the world, and let the details come out as the character falls deeper and deeper into it.
I personally think the first two chapters are both entertaining and necessary (I can explain more after you read it). I would appreciate as many readers as possible, since I'm trying to get a general consensus, so if you're interested, please feel free to send me a personal message and we can swap emails. Any help will be enormously appreciated!
The problem for me was in the set-up in the story. The first chapter is superfluous and the second doesn't pull it's weight. Your book really starts in chapter three. I know it seems that you should give us the setting before introducing the problem (that being Tuccia's selection among the other children), but this is backwards. Give us a problem from the first page, resist the urge to stop and explain the world, and let the details come out as the character falls deeper and deeper into it.
I personally think the first two chapters are both entertaining and necessary (I can explain more after you read it). I would appreciate as many readers as possible, since I'm trying to get a general consensus, so if you're interested, please feel free to send me a personal message and we can swap emails. Any help will be enormously appreciated!
