More about that damn questionnaire
Knox Robinson Publishing
I just looked over their lovely submissions questionnaire and it's a dilly.
All are direct, unedited quotes with emphasis added.
1. "How would you classify your book (Historical Fiction, Historical
Romance, Young Adult or General Fantasy)?" SEE #4
2. "Please describe why you wrote this book, the niche it fills, its subject and
key editorial points that make it unique."
Most of this isn't too weird but one would presume that THEY would know "the niche it fills".
3. "All Knox Robinson Publishing authors are required to write at least one short
story per publication that will be made available to readers as a free eBook
download on the KRP website."
I may be easy but I'm not cheap and I sure as hell am not for free.
4. "Please describe the research undertaken to write this book, your source
material (primary and secondary) and any liberties taken with the historical
records of events in your book."
Once we sign the contract I will provide them an annotated bibliography if they want one but not until then.
I stopped writing other people's term papers a long time ago. As for "any liberties taken, in #1 they only
publish fiction, if liberties weren't taken it's an encyclopedia.
5. What are the primary competitive books on the market?
Another thing that THEY should know.
6. Knox Robinson works diligently to market the books of all of our authors.
Really? How?
In addition to the company’s efforts, all Knox Robinson authors are required
to vigorously market their books at their own expense.
Oh, HELL NO!
This includes, but is not limited to, arranging your own bookstore signings,
author talks, library talks and appearances at conventions in which Knox
Robinson does not participate. Please provide a sample marketing plan
below which includes bookstores that you would wish to target for book
signings, libraries that you may approach for talks, authors of whom you wish
to approach for reviews, and possible conventions at which you wish to
make appearances.
If they want to hire me as a marketing consultant we can discuss marketing strategies AFTER I sign the
consultancy contract.
7. Please tell us about your future writing projects.
Not a f*cking chance!
And what, pray tell, do I need THEM for? I can self-publish and do the same thing without splitting the net.
If, after my lobotomy, I were to answer all their questions I would have handed them the entire book; all
they'd have to do is type it up. For that kind of shagging I'd like to at least get kissed.