Rape

brainstorm77 said:

Note to Mods: I really didn't know where to put this, please move it if it should be elsewhere.

In another thread a member stated that rapist are often driven by their sexual urges/needs. Do you think rape is about sex?

I always understood that the act of rape was carried out with the need to control and humiliate the victim. And that sex was just a way to do it.

I decided to start a new thread to hear what others think on this topic. The other thread in question wasn't the place to do it.

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Generally, no. I think it can be, but I think more motivation comes from the need for power, control, humilation and from basically wanting to hurt a woman in a fundamental way.

What he said.


A rapist might justify it by thinking it was about sex (particularly if the victim is a wife/girlfriend and therefore should be, you know, obliging. In his head anyway) but I think most often (almost always, from what I've read) it's about power.

IdiotsRUs said:

A rapist might justify it by thinking it was about sex (particularly if the victim is a wife/girlfriend and therefore should be, you know, obliging. In his head anyway) but I think most often (almost always, from what I've read) it's about power.

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I tried to think of a way of saying that but couldn't do it without sounding like I was justifying it. In any case, I agree.

Perhaps not all instances of rape are the same, given that the circumstances can vary so widely.

I think most of the time it's about power and control, but I also agree with RobJ's statement above--the psychology behind it isn't always going to be the same.

Aha, I knew I'd read about this somewhere recently.

From the Yale curriculum.

One commonly believed myth is that rape is primarily a sexual act. Persons with this belief often unintentionally place the victim on trial. Her motives, her dress and her actions become suspect not only to law enforcement officials but also to her family and friends. <snip> However, throughout the past 20 years a variety of psychologists and sociologists have begun to study the psychology of rape and rapists. Their findings have shown that rape is a crime of violence, often regarded by the woman as a life-threatening act in which fear and humiliation are her dominant emotions. Sexual desire is less a motivation for the man than violent aggression.

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Of course not all cases are the same, but it seems the vast majority are about power.

Rape is violence. Sex is the weapon.

seun said:

Generally, no. I think it can be, but I think more motivation comes from the need for power, control, humilation and from basically wanting to hurt a woman in a fundamental way.

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I just want to point out that men get raped too.

gothicangel said:

I just want to point out that men get raped too.

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True.

gothicangel said:

I just want to point out that men get raped too.

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Indeed. Maybe that should read : basically wanting to hurt a person in a fundamental way.

Thing is, if it was about sexual urges, then you wouldn't get men who are married with healthy sex lives who go out and rape women/people.

I'm sure for some the initial impulse is a sexual urge. But what turns that to rape? So if you're on a date and the woman says no, you just take it anyway...because you can. And that 'because you can' is power. Because most men would say 'oh, okay' (well, maybe something a little stronger lol) even if they were about to burst.

Rape is nothing to do with sex.

Power play can be part of consensual sex as well. This is why human monogamy must be propped by elaborate religious and social conventions, and why these conventions continue to fail. This is why the sexual revolution hasn't made prostitution obsolete. Rape is extreme power play.

For that matter, the issues of power and control pervade all areas of human interaction. These can be as subtle as a slightly turned back or as blatant as murder. And everything in between.

But no. Rape isn't about the simple sexual urge. If simple sexual urges even persist much past infancy.

Rape is about control and power, basically an "I am stronger than you, you can't fight me" kind of thing. And also, "I'm going to get back at you for not wanting me or for cheating on me" or for whatever. And men get raped, too, yes, that's the truth. No offense intended but I always thought that people still thought that only women got raped because the man is stronger. I would like to know your opinion on that. Anyone can drug and rape anyone because no one can defend themselves when they're drugged, no matter if it's a man or a woman.


Oh, and also, the way a woman dresses or what a woman does doesn't in any way justify the man raping her. Rapists often use that as an excuse.

Magali said:

Rapists often use that as an excuse.

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Juries too.

brainstorm77 said:

Note to Mods: I really didn't know where to put this, please move it if it should be elsewhere.

In another thread a member stated that rapist are often driven by their sexual urges/needs. Do you think rape is about sex?

I always understood that the act of rape was carried out with the need to control and humiliate the victim. And that sex was just a way to do it.

I decided to start a new thread to hear what others think on this topic. The other thread in question wasn't the place to do it.

Click to expand...

This is my understanding from everything I've read. I believe FBI Profiler John Douglas covers this in his research. I've got his books--will try and look it up later. I believe he goes into the classifications of rape, one being individuals who can't feel arousal/sexual gratification without an unwilling sexual partner (sexual sadists, etc.). So in my mind--even under those circumstances, it's about fear, force and control.

Ah, here we go (Douglas): http://books.google.com/books?id=DIc9F5ZzO7YC&pg=PA293&lpg=PA293&dq=john+douglas+rape&source=bl&ots=2H35XM5A7B&sig=I98Es0UzXj7CD55bbUoi3Z4T4jo&hl=en&ei=nhbgTMTOF8Kblgewou3cAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CCAQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=john%20douglas%20rape&f=false

His books fascinate me.

It might have been in one of his, perhaps someone else's, but the point was made - rape is not about sex, and this is proven by people raping the opposite sex, the same sex, children, pensioners...if all they wanted was sex, they could go out and get it, for free (or the price of a few drinks).

It's not the sex and the orgasm they want, it's the power, and the only way they can get that is by overpowering someone. Usually someone vulnerable - a woman, a pensioner, a child.

scarletpeaches said:

His books fascinate me.

It might have been in one of his, perhaps someone else's, but the point was made - rape is not about sex, and this is proven by people raping the opposite sex, the same sex, children, pensioners...if all they wanted was sex, they could go out and get it, for free (or the price of a few drinks).

It's not the sex and the orgasm they want, it's the power, and the only way they can get that is by overpowering someone. Usually someone vulnerable - a woman, a pensioner, a child.

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I couldn't walk by a white van in a parking lot after reading his books! He opened up my eyes about being truly aware of my surroundings.

I have Manhunter, Journey into Darkness and The Cases that Haunt Us. Also read Obsession and The Anatomy of Motive.

Weird choice of reading material, but...I also read Ressler and and Hazelwood.

(And Danielle Steel, but I keep that quiet).

gothicangel said:

Juries too.

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Wow...better not comment any further.

scarletpeaches said:

I have Manhunter, Journey into Darkness and The Cases that Haunt Us. Also read Obsession and The Anatomy of Motive.

Weird choice of reading material, but...I also read Ressler and and Hazelwood.

(And Danielle Steel, but I keep that quiet).

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Wow--just checked his site. Looks like he's got a bunch of new--well, new to me anyway--ones out (authored or co-authored).

Wayne K said:

Rape is violence. Sex is the weapon.

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This in a nut.

Magali said:

Wow...better not comment any further.

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Why?

This Amnesty International report is a few years old now, but I believe it is still relevant.

http://www.amnesty.org.uk/news_details.asp?NewsID=16618

IdiotsRUs said:

What he said.


A rapist might justify it by thinking it was about sex (particularly if the victim is a wife/girlfriend and therefore should be, you know, obliging. In his head anyway) but I think most often (almost always, from what I've read) it's about power.

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I'm quoting Julia to add my two cents here by expanding the thought on domestic violence. I've been researching the topic for years because this is mainly what I write about.

Indeed, sex is another tool in the domestic abuser's disposal to exercise his power and control over his partner, who he mainly sees as an extension of himself rather than a seperate individual (was that a redundancy? ) Sex is another way for him to affirm his control or ownership, as well as a form of punishment. He may hold his partner down during sex, be violently 'playful', may start having sex with her when she's actually asleep or make derogatory comments that are not part of a shared erotic game. Given that a lot of abusers also tend to be cheaters, this is more about domination than relief.

If you'd like titles for further reading feel free to pm me.