Need advice on a story.

MercyWrites said:

I've the idea for a book. I've been working on it for about a week, and I have already done a little research and outline. I really like the idea, but I want some advice. I want to know if its sound interesting, or is it a cliché?

My MC is an ex-soldier who has a computer chip installed in his brain. The chip has a female personality. She helps him out of dangerous situations. The setting will be in post apocalyptic period. The story will be dark with some humor. There is some romance, but it's not the focal point. My character is searching for his sister. My target audiences are adults. I don't have many of the details figure out, and I've a lot of questions to ask on this forum. I'll save them for another time.

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Hmmm...So, the female computer chip act as a guide for the ex-soldier?...

Chip inside the head with a female personality? Reminds me of Serious Sam II (where it is lampooned.) Of course, that's the only time I've seen it.

I like the idea. But a few questions...

Was the chip put in to help from an injury or as part of a military program?

Why was the chip given a female personality for a male. This may cause him conflicting emotions, which may or may not be part of your overall theme. (IE The man with two brains...one male and one female. Lots of conflict.)

Does he understand the chip has a female personality. What is his reaction? Can the chip over ride his own emotions, or desires, or directions, causing him to feel and do things he normally would not?

This has potential. I can see the humor in it even if the darker side is the search for his sister. Keep working on it and if you have any more questions or need to bounce something off the walls, you can alway message me, or post updates. I may not have the answers, but sometimes its just good to brain storm things through...

MercyWrites said:

I could use some feed back.

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Write the story. Only at that point will outside opinion have any value.

caw

I'm with blacbird. What you have at the moment is barely a plot bunny. You really need more flesh on it before you start looking for feedback. Whether that comes from just writing or from lots of research and outlining really depends on what sort of writer you are.

MercyWrites said:

I've the idea for a book. I've been working on it for about a week, and I have already done a little research and outline. I really like the idea, but I want some advice. I want to know if its sound interesting, or is it a cliché?

My MC is an ex-soldier who has a computer chip installed in his brain. The chip has a female personality. She helps him out of dangerous situations. The setting will be in post apocalyptic period. The story will be dark with some humor. There is some romance, but it's not the focal point. My character is searching for his sister. My target audiences are adults. I don't have many of the details figure out, and I've a lot of questions to ask on this forum. I'll save them for another time.

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Don't worry. No high concepts are entirely new, the originality is in the execution.

This one that you have sounds like it'll be funny, and also enable you to explore some interesting themes - especially if the chip contains a real personality.

Any love scenes are going to be interesting. And what happens if he meets the original lady who supplied the chip's personality?

There was a movie years back where the hero ended up with the girl's soul stuck in his head. There's also that one about the advertising exec who can suddenly hear the thoughts of women.

It's a fine idea in and of itself, but I think it could leave you open to some cliche's that might be less exciting. As has been pointed out already, this idea has been explored (my favorite example is the Steve Martin/Lilly Tomlin movie who's name escapes me). That doesn't mean you should abandon the concept, though. It definitely has potential.

One thing that strikes me is the apparent focus solely on the soldier's situation. If the chip has a personality, then how does she feel about being inserted into a male's brain?

Did they run out of male personalities? Or did they think that having a female voice in a soldier's head to nag him about how to get out of dangerous situations was a good idea? Lots of potential here!

The first thing it made me think of was Baltar and Six. The set up was different but still...commonish theme. Then that made me wonder...can he only hear her or can he see her too?

Mercy, don't worry about any of that junk for right now. All you need to worry about is finishing the book and coming up to those two final words "the end".

Once you finish the book and are working on a rewrite then you can worry about all the technical garbage.

Right now, just write the thing.

You have permission to write crap and it comes straight from James D. Macdonald himself (and I'll gladly give you permission too).

The premise sounds good, as does the question.

The only two things you should focus on at this point is finishing the story, and the relationship between the MC and his AI.

I's been said a few times already, but finish the story and come back to us. You'll have a lot more insight on what you need to do and what you need to know once you have.

have fun. Because if you're not, you're doing it wrong.

As others have said, the idea has lots of potential; just try to avoid overused gender cliches. Also, because this is a personal pet peeve of mine, please do something different/ original with the post-apocalyptic (sp?) setting than the normal "scratching out a meager existence in the rubble of civilization" stuff. My two cents

The opportunity to really screw with him immediately appeals to me. Maybe he's turned on by her voice, only to discover (much, much later) that the personality is based on his sister. There are so many disturbing ways you can cause him pain with the implant that it's surprising that there isn't more use made of this idea. Bishop in the X-Men comics, Serious Sam and a couple of TV shows - TimeTrax? - come to mind though.

MercyWrites said:

I appreciate all the good advice. Purple Tulip, I haven't worked all the details out. I know he shot his commanding officer, and he was given the choice of a firing squad or
voluntary to become a guinea pig. The commanding officer had something to do with Jacob's female chip. I'll do my best to come up with something different, Ambri. I like James D. Macdonald advice. Well, I'm off to write the best crap I can.

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Just remember you've only got half the story. What he's up against will probably define the novel more than the chip in head.