Working on my WIP, chapter 33. SETUP: Dave Robertson, my MC is in the reporter's offices of the Lamont Weekly Times. He thinks he is the last one in the building other then the Carter's who were probably finishing up cleaning the presses. Dave talks to himself, not out loud but in his head. (His head voice is the only thing in italics throughout the story.) Yes there are reasons for it, which is explained. Hey, hes got issues hes got to get over --- don't we all? Anyway he fixed his desk up and went into the kitchenette to wash his coffee cup. Its the end of their week and the paper is on the stands.
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He still hadn’t heard the front door close. That was odd, even when he ran water in the sink he could normally hear the old style bell over the top of the front door jingle.
You’re getting paranoid Davy boy.
Well, sometimes a little paranoia is a good thing. He turned off the tap and listened. Nothing. OK, just his imagination, which really needed to butt out. He flipped the light off in the kitchenette―then stopped. That time he clearly heard something. It was the unmistakable squeak of the archives door. It could be the Carter’s, but what if it wasn’t? He quietly opened the silverware drawer and felt around. Shit, there has to be something in here other than plastic butter knives and forks. He squatted slightly and went for the drawer below. Yes―a cake knife!
What the hell you going to do with that Davy, cut the intruder into dessert slabs?
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You know I would really like some feedback on a bigger chunk of this chapter. Please bear in mind I usually write non-fiction, I'm new to fiction writing. I don't want to info dump or tell not show, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right when my MC is alone. I don't know if I'm brave enough to put it in the SYW section and draw a lot of attention to it, everyone reads there right? Can I put it in the M/T/S section as a separate thread or is the other forum better because its password protected (sort of). What to do ... what to do...