Why Most Romance Couples Start Off Hating Each Other

The only thing I can think of is because it provides some tension... will they? won't they?

Otherwise what else is there? Love at first sight? What's the fun in that?

Yup.. Love at first sight would not make much of a story.

Conflict.

Gotta have the conflict...

brainstorm77 said:

Yup.. Love at first sight would not make much of a story.

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I disagree intensely, but that's not important.


It's done because it's seen to work. But it's hardly imaginative, it's a cookie-cutter element.
Most real life couples probably don't start out hating each other...

Most real life couples also start out boring.

kaitie said:

Most real life couples also start out boring.

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Exactly!

Maybe people think it's cute because "they're so in denial"? Or maybe it's just poor build up to hatesex. Another possibility is to highlight the painful side of love, but that's giving too much credit in most cases.

Personally, I'm more of a fan of couples who starts off thinking each other as idiots (in a funny manner, I hate wangst).

kaitie said:

Most real life couples also start out boring.

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And generally finish that way.

It's the in-between stuff that's interesting.

Story is conflict. She is overcoming her aversion to him because he represents the thing missing from her life, which apparently is true love....OK, OK, why is it never the other way around? If there is a story where HE has to overcome an aversion to HER bla bla true love etc etc, let me know. And what's so great about true love? Why can't she represent his need to do great things, go from rags to riches, things like that? Well, then it wouldn't be romance, I know. Actually achieving things is not romantic.
And then there's the couple who divorce after many years who rekindle their romantic feelings for each other meme. Why is their moving on not romantic in it's way? Wouldn't you want to double your money and have them both finding a new love on their own? Well, it doesn't hurt to ask.

Shadow_Ferret said:

Otherwise what else is there? Love at first sight? What's the fun in that?

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brainstorm77 said:

Yup.. Love at first sight would not make much of a story.

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LOG said:

I disagree intensely, but that's not important.

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I'm with LOG.

Ripping apart madly-in-love characters and making them suffer is so much more fun than watching the played-out romance of will-they/won't they?

Oh, sure, when you rip apart the madly in love couple it's interesting, but every second they're smooching it up on page is only slightly less boring than vanilla ice cream.

DwayneA said:

Is it some kind of rule?

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Yes, actually. In the industry, "romance" is defined as a story in which two characters meet, have some serious tension, find a reason why they can't be together (whether it's because they hate each other at first or because something else keeps them apart...), and in the end they overcome their obstacle and end up happily ever after. That is literally what makes a romance a romance.

You can call it cliche, but it defines the genre, just as "magic happening in an unrealistic setting" defines fantasy, and "speculative story about humanity's relation to science and/or technology" defines sci-fi.

In my WIP, it's love at first sight, but a "Jesus Christ I can't fall for him" kind of thing, so I get the heat and the tension going at once. And he, isn't young and swoonworthy.

He is spongeworthy though.

megan_d said:

Oh, sure, when you rip apart the madly in love couple it's interesting, but every second they're smooching it up on page is only slightly less boring than vanilla ice cream.

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Then you're doing it wrong.

Agreed

megan_d said:

Oh, sure, when you rip apart the madly in love couple it's interesting, but every second they're smooching it up on page is only slightly less boring than vanilla ice cream.

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Oops.

*deletes 50k of my 62k-nearly-finished-WIP*

Hmm. Then my husband and I must have either gotten something wrong or we have a hit movie on our hands. LOL
First instant I saw him I heard a big booming voice in head saying "he's the one." The next instant I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. It went back and forth like that with each of us trading places in love and hate, never in sync. We managed to hit every flipping cliché in the book except one...neither of us inherited a huge sum of money. Darn, could have used that one.

We have always had a strong healthy relationship and we've been together for 27 years.
I like the stories where the couple struggles with one another because honestly, I can relate to them more.

Bluegate said:

I like the stories where the couple struggles with one another because honestly, I can relate to them more.

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Struggling with each other isn't the same as manufactured hate.

I prefer books where everyone dies in the end, hating each other.

I can relate to those more.

scarletpeaches said:

I prefer books where everyone dies in the end, hating each other.

I can relate to those more.

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You'll love mine, then!

kuwisdelu said:

Ripping apart madly-in-love characters and making them suffer is so much more fun than watching the played-out romance of will-they/won't they?

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This.

Out of almost 20 romances, I've only had written one couple that hated each other at the beginning of the story. However, they were exes...they'd been in love, recently split up, and weren't too thrilled with each other, but due to circumstances, were stuck in close proximity.

Otherwise, I usually don't really care for the "I hate you...wait, I love you." Maybe I just don't like how it's been executed, or I've read it too much, I don't know. Generally speaking, I haven't been thrilled with stories that start out that way, and by the time the characters do fall in love, I'm either thinking "it's about fucking time, you idiots" or "whut? He's a DICK, you idiot!"

That, and it's hardly the only way to create conflict in a romance. Most of my couples want to be together, but can't or shouldn't be for various reasons. As Kuwi said, it's so much more fun to keep two people apart who want to be together. I'm evil, I know...

When two characters who hate each other in the beginning fall in love with each other later, they better have had a damn good reason for both emotions.

And when it happens that reason should be the conflict, not the artificial reason that they think they shouldn't or can't love each other.

And if they get too caught up in that kind of artificial thinking instead of trying to face the actual reason, I'm probably going to think they're idiots.

No, wait, I will think they're idiots.

kuwisdelu said:

When two characters who hate each other in the beginning fall in love with each other later, they better have had a damn good reason for both emotions.

And when it happens that reason should be the conflict, not the artificial reason that they think they shouldn't or can't love each other.

And if they get too caught up in that kind of artificial thinking instead of trying to face the actual reason, I'm probably going to think they're idiots.

No, wait, I will think they're idiots.

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QFT. All of it.

This reminds me of the accusation that boys only pull the pigtails of girls they like in the playground.

And I don't want playground reasons for being mean to each other in a grown-up novel.