I'm slightly concerned I need an exorcist

Perks · Dec 18, 2009

So, you remember The Amityville Horror, and I think, The Exorcism of Emily Rose? One of the staples of demonic possession stories is the unexplainable plague of flies.

And now to my house --

I'm very particular about the order of my household, so it's clean. Not sterile, but really very tidy. Food is never left out. The trash is covered and emptied regularly. We don't have any pets. There are no funky smells. But there are flies. For the last few weeks, there have been one to four flies - usually at the master bath window. (It's a sealed, one pane window over the tub, so it doesn't open.)

These are big house flies, but I cannot find where they are coming from and why it's only a few at a time - in the dead of winter. There's four inches of snow outside and flies in my house! I killed three yesterday and there are two more back behind the window curtain this morning.

Is my house possessed? What should I be looking for next? Is there a priest in residence here?

semilargeintestine · Dec 18, 2009

There's probably a body sealed up in one of the walls.

scarletpeaches · Dec 18, 2009

You are from your father the devil and you wish to perform the works of Satan.

Elias Graves · Dec 18, 2009

You need a flyswatter.

EG

Perks · Dec 18, 2009

Elias Graves said:
You need a flyswatter.

EG

That, I've got. That's how I killed the three yesterday.

bettielee · Dec 18, 2009

or saddle them for the fairies....

Perks · Dec 18, 2009

scarletpeaches said:
You are from your father the devil and you wish to perform the works of Satan.

No, I don't wish to do it, but there is such a thing as familial obligation. It's a hassle.

quickWit · Dec 18, 2009

bettielee said:
or saddle them for the fairies....

Oh, that's offensive.

DeleyanLee · Dec 18, 2009

I don't know, but we've been having the same problem, Perks.

Even weirder is the pets that normally kill flies run from these.

Is very strange.

scarletpeaches · Dec 18, 2009

Perks said:
No, I don't wish to do it, but there is such a thing as familial obligation. It's a hassle.

Liar. There's a reason he's called Lord of the Flies, you know.

Dicentra P · Dec 18, 2009

DeleyanLee said:
I don't know, but we've been having the same problem, Perks.

Even weirder is the pets that normally kill flies run from these.

Is very strange.

We've gotten a couple. The cat follows them around the house yelling because he can't get to them. I used to get them in the office too. I think the flies lay the eggs in the outside of the window frame and the newborns are small enough to move in where it is warm. Plastic film on the offending window helps keep them confined.

Perks · Dec 18, 2009

DeleyanLee said:
I don't know, but we've been having the same problem, Perks.

Even weirder is the pets that normally kill flies run from these.

Is very strange.

Hey, do you live in North Carolina? Maybe it's the whole state?

I don't know what these things are living on. They don't come downstairs and there's nothing to eat upstairs. Nothing!

It's totally weird.

Help me.

Elias Graves · Dec 18, 2009

Its doubtful you are truly posessed.
Show a cross or Bible to one of the flies and see how they react. A real demon won't like it much.

EG

Wayne K · Dec 18, 2009

Get out!

bettielee · Dec 18, 2009

DeleyanLee said:
I don't know, but we've been having the same problem, Perks.

Even weirder is the pets that normally kill flies run from these.

Is very strange.

then you are doooomed.....

cray · Dec 18, 2009

pfft. they eat your dead skin cells when you are sleeping.

Perks · Dec 18, 2009

Wayne K said:
Get out!

If my closet says that, you can be sure I won't need to be told again.

Perks · Dec 18, 2009

cray said:
pfft. they eat your dead skin cells when you are sleeping.

I exfoliate, you cylindrical bastard.

quickWit · Dec 18, 2009

Perks said:
So, you remember The Amityville Horror, and I think, The Exorcism of Emily Rose? One of the staples of demonic possession stories is the unexplainable plague of flies.

And now to my house --

I'm very particular about the order of my household, so it's clean. Not sterile, but really very tidy. Food is never left out. The trash is covered and emptied regularly. We don't have any pets. There are no funky smells. But there are flies. For the last few weeks, there have been one to four flies - usually at the master bath window. (It's a sealed, one pane window over the tub, so it doesn't open.)

These are big house flies, but I cannot find where they are coming from and why it's only a few at a time - in the dead of winter. There's four inches of snow outside and flies in my house! I killed three yesterday and there are two more back behind the window curtain this morning.

Is my house possessed? What should I be looking for next? Is there a priest in residence here?

No worries, Perks. Chances are one of the little Perks's'ses' caught a squirrel or something for you and wanted to give it to you for Christmas. So, they probably put it in a box and wrapped it up tight. A couple days later they probably realized that they'd forgotten to put holes in the lid, so they grabbed some cutlery from your kitchen drawers and poked some holes in it. They probably didn't realize at the time that they'd injured the squirrel while making the holes, and it died of its injuries.

Well, they didn't want to give you a dead squirrel covered in blood! What kind of gift is that, right? So they used your toothbrush to clean it off. They didn't want yout to find it before Christmas, so they hid it under your mattress - the last place you'd look.

That's probably all it is.

Perks · Dec 18, 2009

Elias Graves said:
Its doubtful you are truly posessed.
Show a cross or Bible to one of the flies and see how they react. A real demon won't like it much.

EG

I said. "The power of Christ compels you" in my best Max Von Sydow impression, but the damned thing tried to fly up my nose. I have no idea what that means.

bettielee · Dec 18, 2009

Perks said:
I said. "The power of Christ compels you" in my best Max Von Sydow impression, but the damned thing tried to fly up my nose. I have no idea what that means.

they are zombies flies and wants to eats your brains!

Judg · Dec 18, 2009

This happens every winter at our place. They are trying to get in out of the cold. They're probably coming in through the fan.

Sorry to be so prosaic. No demons, no body in the walls, no bad housekeeping. Just nature.

Which doesn't stop you from inventing another reason and writing a story about it.

scarletpeaches · Dec 18, 2009

I command you in the name of Jesus to leave this thread!

Wayne K · Dec 18, 2009

Why you leave me Yimmy?

Libbie · Dec 18, 2009

Insects and other arthropods will go into topor unless they find a place that's warm. It's really not uncommon to find lively critters in very clean houses during the cold (and wet) months. It's a nicer environment for them.

I work with invertebrates a lot in my line of work. Ghosts and spirits aren't real, but insect biology is (and it's way more awesome, anyway!)

You're fine. They'll go find food and larva-rearing habitat once the spring sunshine arrives.

Oh, and they're probably coming in through the doors when you open them to go in and out.

I'm slightly concerned I need an exorcist

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