I would have thought the last thing PA wants is for their authors to get together. What if an angry mob of torch-waving, pitchfork-wielding dissatisfied customers descend upon these conventions? PA can't chuck real live people into the cornfield.
Has anyone heard anything about this? (It was sent to me by a small publisher; apparently PA got mixed up and sent them the literary agent form letter.)
What if an angry mob of torch-waving, pitchfork-wielding dissatisfied customers descend upon these conventions? PA can't chuck real live people into the cornfield.
Their first con was surreal. They had a dinner at one of the cheesier hotels in Frederick. Clopper and Meiners had armed guards walking around the banquet hall - yes, they were armed. We could see the bulge of the gun butt in their sweaters and jackets. One of us at our table was so incensed that she asked one of the guards why he was armed. His reply was that it was "for our safety." She asked what the hell that meant, but he walked away.
It got weirder when Clopper gave his "aren't-we-the-best-evah-and-thank-you-for-making-us-rich" talk from on high. No, really, I do mean on high - he was on the first floor balcony looking down at us. We heard it was a "safety issue." In fact, he never really did come down and speak with us peons. Meiners, on the other hand was a dandy gent, parading his wonderfulness around with his girlfriend in tow (as he introduced her) even while proudly wearing his wedding ring.
It didn't take long before the food stations ran out and only half of us had eaten. Everyone was furious. But wait - it gets better. What do you do when you have a mob of angry authors? I mean, you can't have your armed guards shoot us all. So they pulled the fire alarm.
Sure, they tried to make it look very innocent, but oddly enough, the only people evacuated were the PA writers. The hotel guests remained in their rooms. It was one of the cheapest, pathetic attempts at extolling their virtues, and they really became the laughing stock of us all.
So to the new PA convention suckers, I have two pieces of advice: pack a burger in your purse, and bring some mace for the armed guards.
They've done that already.
Maybe this time someone will turn them in for making a false alarm?
At least PA titled this one correctly.
We're going to spend the next few days calling your local bookstores, Walmart, Kmart, Target, Costco, Sam's Club, Starbucks, and urge them to stock your book NOW.
From the description:
Corporate sends them items, and often diagrams and pictures (probably with circles and arrows on the front and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what it is) to show them where the items go on the shelves.
For the low, low price of $99 for a single title and $149 for multiple titles.Dear author:
Start the new year with your own literary agent.
Our literary agency department has had a very busy year. They take their job very seriously. In the second half of last year they submitted PublishAmerica books to publishers all over the nation and the world.
The average agented book has been introduced to 15 other publishers in 2011. The vast majority of these are U.S. publishers, some really big; twenty percent is foreign, including countries as far away as Germany, South Africa, Australia, India, and Spain. Last week, for example, we finalized the sale of foreign translation rights to a publisher in the Czech Republic, for good money: an advance plus royalties!
In today's book world, exposure is everything. Last year, more than half a million new books have been released, begging the question: how does your book stand out in that ocean of new books?
Having your own literary agent represent your book around the industry in all of 2012, that certainly helps it stand out! No, it does not guarantee sales. But it sure as heck guarantees that your book is seen in places where you want it to be seen! And that's exposure! Of all the books that are never represented, none makes it anywhere for sure!
Hire your own literary agent today: go to (*link baleeted*) to activate. You will be contacted within 48 business hours by your new agent.
Must choose a shipping option to activate. No use of coupons is allowed.
Thank you,
--PublishAmerica Bookstore
Does that mean they ship the agent directly to me? Do I need to be home to sign, or will they leave the agent on the porch, behind the flowerpot?Hire your own literary agent today: go to (*link baleeted*) to activate. You will be contacted within 48 business hours by your new agent. Must choose a shipping option to activate.
Folks, I thought you were already published by Publish America, the largest publisher in the U.S.*? Why would you need an agent to show your book(s) to other publishers?
Publish America Drivel:
Last week, for example, we finalized the sale of foreign translation rights to a publisher in the Czech Republic, for good money: an advance plus royalties!
Having your own literary agent represent your book around the industry in all of 2012, that certainly helps it stand out! No, it does not guarantee sales. But it sure as heck guarantees that your book is seen in places where you want it to be seen! And that's exposure! Of all the books that are never represented, none makes it anywhere for sure!
Depends on the exchange rate, I'm sure.Does that mean they sold a book for more than a shiny dollar?
MM