Write your obituary

Will an epitaph do?

Dang, Jill. My obit is even longer.

Thanks, Jill. I'll work on an obit. Oh what to say?

What to say? ROFL

Life is funny (or not so funny) that way.

RIP
Ray

I really didn't know him. I was here for the free coffee...

Dang, that's what I forgot. I wasn't a very good dead host. I forgot to serve coffee, tea and brownies. ROFL

Epitaph

I had to do this assignment once too. I can't remember if it was High School or College. I have no idea what I said either. I probably just copied something from the newspaper!

My epitaph:

"I told you I was sick."

No idea what my obituary would say....guess that depends on who writes it.

Brady H.

My epitaph:

He came,
He saw,
He came,
She killed him

.

heh... giggly girl.

He was good in bed,
but now he's dead.
Too bad...how sad...

When I was working the obituary desk, I once had a woman call in and tell me she wanted me transcribe her obituary for her. She knew she was going to die in the next 24-48 hours and wanted to make sure it was right.

So I typed out what she had to say over the phone. It was a long, rambling obit, more a rant than anything, and when she was done she had me read it back to her. I told her it was a really long one, and it was going to cost a lot of money.

She replied, "Who cares? I'm not the one paying for it."

She died the next day, and we ran it.

I've also gotten hand-scrawled obits that weren't finished because they died before they could. I've had dueling obits where two family members couldn't agree on what to say, so we ran two different ones.

People take this stuff very seriously. When newspapers decided they could sell obit space, it was a serious cash boom for them.

Here's my eulogy.

*My brother stands up to speak*

Ahem.

I have never known anyone be so permanently in a flap about everything under the sun, or to have so many wacky ideas that don't work out.
However, she always got me cool Christmas presents.
Now, in accordance with her wishes, I'd like you all to stand and sing Motorhead's 'Voices In The Sky' with me, then make you way to the vegan *cough* buffet at the back.

"During her lifetime, Susan Lanigan was proud to be known as an embarrassment to her family's sense of decency and propriety. Her writings and other works, in their obsessions and libels, violated Irish values and culture to a point where her presence near decent people became untenable. She fell in love with unsuitable people and foreigners (usually one and the same) and missed no opportunity to revile the country that condescended to gently inculcate her with the unwritten but important values of what is expected of people in society.

To add insult to injury, the late Susan Lanigan didn't even own a house.

She did, however, manage to save rather a lot of money, which was a surprise to those of close relation who had, during her lifetime, considered her flighty, useless and devoid of that unique Irish virtue, cop-on."

Epitaph

The Consummate Reincarnationist
Will be right back.

"Now that I'm dead, you're listening to what I wrote?"

Matera the Mad was found dead in her computer chair today. The aging wannabe writer was apparently composing her own obituary when sh

Appy Writer died this morning, surrounded by her loving dog, Buddy, and cat, Katt. She was one hundred and seventy-five years old. She leaves behind a mound of unpublished manuscripts, a coffee cup with a Christmas tree on it, and $3.50 in Marlboro coupons. She will be sadly missed by the UPS man.