2009 Predictions

blacbird · Dec 27, 2008

Okay, it's time. Put up, or shut up:

Dow Jones clears 10,000 by March, stays above it most of the year.

Tom Cruise makes a really bad movie that rakes in millions of dollars in profit.

Crude oil prices rise to $80 per barrel by May.

Britney Spears has a major meltdown and goes into rehab.

California Angels win Major League Baseball World Series.

Lindsey Lohan has a major meltdown and goes into rehab.

Tiger Woods wins Masters' Golf Tournament.

President Obama does something wrong.

Amy Winehouse has a major meltdown and goes into rehab . . . oh, wait, I forgot, it doesn't require a major meltdown . . . never mind.

Randy Orton regains the WWE World Wrestling Championship.

President Obama does something right.

It pisses off Haskins.

Astronomers announce that "dark matter" is mysterious and they don't understand it.

Pamela Anderson divorces somebody.

Madonna marries somebody.

Nobody gives a shite about either of the two above events.

A major earthquake causes serious damage and destruction in southern Alaska.

A major tornado wreaks serious damage and destruction on a major U.S. city, Dallas or Houston or St. Louis.

Biological researchers discover that dogs have souls.

Biological researchers discover that cats have no souls.

Enough for now. I'll have more in a day or two.

caw

brad_b · Dec 28, 2008

Time travelers appear from the future covered in ice and debunk global warming theory

The planet shifts on its axis - Nome, Alaska is the new tourist hotspot

All four dentists finally recommend Dentyne for their patients who chew gum

Biologists notice a disturbing pattern that birds of a feather are no longer willing to flock

After 101 years the Chicago Cubs win the World Series

Researchers discover alcohol is a major cause of pregnancy

Intelligent life is discovered in Washington, D.C. - the world stands amazed

83.2% of AW writers sign contracts with major publishing companies

Three major U.S auto companies ask for more money (that one was easy)

Meteorologists predict 40% chance of rain, stocks tumble (actually, all of the above have the same effect)

alleycat · Dec 28, 2008

brad_b said:
After 101 years the Chicago Cubs win the World Series.

I can accept your other predictions, but don't you think you're going too far with this one?

brad_b · Dec 28, 2008

After 101 years the Chicago Cubs win the World Series

alleycat said:
I can accept your other predictions, but don't you think you're going too far with this one?

As a Cub fan I live in a fantasy world - it's so sad - really.

Plot Device · Dec 28, 2008

Local petty crime will escalate dramatically due to financial desperation.

The daily uniforms for local police officers throughout the USA will look less like this:
http://www.global-b2b-network.com/direct/dbimage/50179662/Police_Uniform.jpg

and more like this:
http://www.jfsc.ndu.edu/images/hlspc/police_adv_NriotGear.jpg

Oil will return to $150 a barrel, and go even higher. It will madly fluctuate back and forth between $75 and $200, and these up and down fluctuations will defy predictability.

The motion picture industry will suffer a serious financial crisis due to plumetting theatre attendance and DVD sales and the increased usage of internet downloads. Talk of eliminating 8-digit salaries for movie stars will get serioisly tossed around. (Tom Cruise, Jim Carrey, Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, etc).

Obama will attempt to expand the American railroad system, but will be met by sharp resistance from Big Oil and Detroit.

One of the Big Three will go under completely.

Large portions of the American electrical grid will suffer more than one serious, multi-state crash.

.

JeanneTGC · Dec 29, 2008

Teenagers will be markedly "less respectful" than they were "in my day".*

*Recycled yearly since, at least, the age of Aristotle.

maestrowork · Dec 30, 2008

Some people will die.

Ray passes the 33,000 mark on AW.

Darzian · Dec 30, 2008

Windows 7 will be released.

Core 2 Quad prices will drop.

Stephenie Meyer releases 12 books.

The long awaited A Dance with Dragons will finally hit shelves. (If it doesn't, then I'm giving up on GRR Martin).

Incidents like this will increase:

Last week, a report coming out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin claims that two brothers, both in their 30's, are looking at assault charges based on an incident filed Sunday, December 21. According to the Waukesha police, the brothers got into an argument over whose turn it was to play a PlayStation 2 game. Although the injuries were not life threatening, this incident just adds fuel to the fire in the eyes of politicians and other anti-game protestors wanting console and PC games removed from the consumer market.

The Waukesha Police said that the argument quickly turned from an argument into an all-out brawl. One brother thus began to choke the other until the offended brother whipped out a knife and began to cut the assailant brother's hands. Enraged even more, the assailant grabbed the knife and stabbed his brother in the chest. His hands bloodied, the assailant brother fled the scene. He later turned up at the hospital with severely frostbitten fingers.

Kitrianna · Dec 30, 2008

blacbird said:
Okay, it's time. Put up, or shut up:

Dow Jones clears 10,000 by March, stays above it most of the year.

Tom Cruise makes a really bad movie that rakes in millions of dollars in profit.

Like that hasn't happened numerous times before...

blacbird said:
Crude oil prices rise to $80 per barrel by May.

Britney Spears has a major meltdown and goes into rehab.

California Angels win Major League Baseball World Series.

Lindsey Lohan has a major meltdown and goes into rehab.

Tiger Woods wins Masters' Golf Tournament.

President Obama does something wrong.

Amy Winehouse has a major meltdown and goes into rehab . . . oh, wait, I forgot, it doesn't require a major meltdown . . . never mind.

Randy Orton regains the WWE World Wrestling Championship.

No, no, no, no, no, NO! Orton is eyecandy, but the boy needs to keep his pie-hole closed! Batista wins the WWE Championship.

blacbird said:
President Obama does something right.

No worries about Prime Minister Harper doing anything right...

blacbird said:
It pisses off Haskins.

Astronomers announce that "dark matter" is mysterious and they don't understand it.

Pamela Anderson divorces somebody.

Madonna marries somebody.

I thought she was already married...when'd she get divorced? Am I that far out of the loop?

blacbird said:
Nobody gives a shite about either of the two above events.

A major earthquake causes serious damage and destruction in southern Alaska.

A major tornado wreaks serious damage and destruction on a major U.S. city, Dallas or Houston or St. Louis.

Biological researchers discover that dogs have souls.

Biological researchers discover that cats have no souls.

Biological researches discover dogs have no active brain cells.

Biological researches discover that cats do have numerous active brain cells.

blacbird said:
Enough for now. I'll have more in a day or two.

caw

You were pretty close, just needed a tad bit of editing

Shadow_Ferret · Dec 30, 2008

maestrowork said:
Ray passes the 33,000 mark on AW.

If you aren't careful, you might pass that in 2008, then this prediction will be outdated.

2009 Predictions

blacbird

brad_b

Knight Errant

alleycat

Still around

brad_b

Knight Errant

Plot Device

A woman said to write like a man.

JeanneTGC

I am Catwoman...and Gini Koch

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

Darzian

To-to-to-ron-to

Kitrianna

Official Bad Cat's Prez

Shadow_Ferret

Court Jester

2009 Predictions

Knight Errant

Still around

Knight Errant

A woman said to write like a man.

I *am* Catwoman...and Gini Koch

Fear the Death Ray

To-to-to-ron-to

Official Bad Cat's Prez

Court Jester

I am Catwoman...and Gini Koch