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Thread: AW's Day of Listening - Interviews Thread

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  1. #23
    Poet. Veteran. Comic Book Maker jst5150's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
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    Jason interviews AW's Server

    Are you rack or stand-alone?

    Rack. And a great one. I mean, a great rack. My rack stands about two feet above the other racks, which seem to be sagging under heavy loads lately.

    Why a server? Why not, say, a handheld GPS or an iPod?

    Location location location. Do you want to be mounted in someone's '96 Chevy Caprice Classic or being part of the belief team playing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" thinking the pounds are going to melt away while hanging off someone's sweaty arm? Besides, I hear they're going to co-locate the files for the new "Star Trek" web site right next door. I say all the right things and, boom, I'm a redundant server for JJ Abrams. That's how things work in this town.

    You've had a couple of crashes ...

    Look, when you've got 26,000 members with 650,000 different database entries running on your backside 24/7, you find time to get in a latte, breathe in some forced fan air and keep running. This is hard work. The processors have threatened to quit twice. The motherboard bus is already trying to unionize and the networking system is talking about a sit in. I'm just trying to keep things rolling along. Meanwhile, I'm getting megabytes of data on fistbumps and someone's wardrobe? C'Mon. I've got better electrons to process. If I stumble once or twice a year; cough up a little data and allow you people some free time, excuse my hospitality. And I'm not being defensive. So, you know, shut up about it.

    What do you think is your greatest strength and your biggest weakness?

    Well, strength, that's obvious -- speed. I'm the Hussein Bolt of processing posts. Want to edit that post -- BLAMMO -- it's done. Need to throw some crap into that thing you call a landfill -- BLAMMO -- done. So, that's something that me and another guy named "Hussein" have in common. My biggest weakness? [click] Goat porn.

    Do you credit popularity or need for your amazingly high workload output?

    For some of these meatheads, it's need. Baffling to me how many green light bulbs I have to change -- while no one is LOOKING either, mind you -- because some of these "can't unattach the AW umbilical cord" folks get their butt out of the Internet chair and in front of the writing chair. However, I have become popular. I have asked my agent -- last name Google -- to look into some franchising and marketing. This Xeon processor's got bigger plans that just building people's profiles and keeping up with newbie posts.

    Is there any writing you're fond of on the site? If so, what?

    It's all just 1's and 0's to me. However, there was a piece a few weeks ago -- all 1's. I mean, the RS-232 interface and I were HOWLING. And then the guy had the nerve to say it was "Harlan Ellison-like." I've seen Mr. Ellison's 1's and 0's. And that binary don't hunt.

    Plenty of people are just plain paranoid about putting their info on the Web. How secure are your operations?

    Ixnay on the onversationkay about the icuritysay. The En-Ess-Ay ightmay eBay isteninglay. K? Or should I just expose all those PMs and rep points now?

    Any downtime we should know about coming up?

    Does Bill Gates tell you about what bugs are going to bite you in the keister when Windows crashes? Does Steve Jobs let you know when the little Bomb is going to pop up when one of the magical Apple apps snorts fiberglass and goes down like a cheerleader on prom night? Like I know these things ...

    What's the future for the AW Forum and how you're running it?

    There's plenty more space in the database for members. However, I'm thinking of creating a one cent fee for every field I fill once we hit 50,000 members. I figure every cent can go to trimming Rolling Thunder's beard and buying some consonants for Robaeae.

    Any last thoughts?

    LINE: 71
    CHAR: 1
    ERROR: OBJECT EXPECTED
    THIS MACHINE WILL NOW SHUT DOWN.
    C:\DOS\VBULLETIN\AWFORUM _

    Just kidding. ;-) Glad the Day of Listening includes those of us without a corporal shell. Luv ya.
    Last edited by jst5150; 12-15-2008 at 04:54 AM.
    “You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.” -- Maxwell

    I write and draw a printed space opera/scifi comic book, "Vorpal": http://headshrinkerspress.com/vorpal

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