The Good, the Bad - And the Ugly

The Good: You rationalize your new employment status and tell yourself that at least now you’ll have the time to work on the novel you’ve been planning to write.

The Bad: Losing your job has created so much stress that when you sit down to write that novel you find yourself typing “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” repeatedly.

The Good: You rationalize your new employment status and tell yourself that at least now you’ll have the time to work on the novel you’ve been planning to write.

The Bad: Losing your job has created so much stress that when you sit down to write that novel you find yourself typing “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” repeatedly.\

The Ugly: After six wretched weeks, you finally manage to type a better beginning:"It was a dark and stormy night."


The Good: You invent a fantastically easy way to make pizza at home.

The Good: You invent a fantastically easy way to make pizza at home.

The Bad: Its so easy, your kids use up all the ingredients making pizzas for themselves after school, leaving you nothing but a mess to clean up.

The Good: You invent a fantastically easy way to make pizza at home.

The Bad: Its so easy, your kids use up all the ingredients making pizzas for themselves after school, leaving you nothing but a mess to clean up.

The Ugly: Since when do you have children?

The Good: You find the secret behind the philosopher's stone.

The Good: You find the secret behind the philosopher's stone.

The Bad: It takes a degree in Philosophy and advanced Physics just to scratch the surface of how to properly use the recently discovered secret.

The Good: You find the secret behind the philosopher's stone.

The Bad: It takes a degree in Philosophy and advanced Physics just to scratch the surface of how to properly use the recently discovered secret

The Ugly: Once again you're severely disappointed that you decided a career in the service industry was going to result in a better pay off than a college degree.

The Good: If you had been able to access the elixir to eternal life you'd be paying off a student loan debt just that much longer.

The Good: If you had been able to access the elixir to eternal life you'd be paying off a student loan debt just that much

The Bad: The debt interest continues to accrue, while your wage remains stagnant.

The Good: If you had been able to access the elixir to eternal life you'd be paying off a student loan debt just that much.

The Bad: The debt interest continues to accrue, while your wage remains stagnant.

The Ugly: Your boss tires of you bad mouthing the Secretary of Education and has you laid-off.

The Good: You managed to give most of the Thanksgiving leftovers to your guests to take home.

The Good: You managed to give most of the Thanksgiving leftovers to your guests to take home.

The Bad: They all got food poisoning the next day

The Ugly: Your rich uncle whose will is in your favor is among them... guess what the cops will suspect.

The Good: Your are found innocent of any charges pressed against you.

The Good: You are found innocent of any charges pressed against you.

The Bad: No one will ever accept a dinner invitation from you again.

The Good: You are found innocent of any charges pressed against you.

The Bad: No one will ever accept a dinner invitation from you again.

The Ugly: You spend the rest of your life eating alone.

The Good: You decide to write a cookbook using rhyming couplets.

The Good: You decide to write a cookbook using rhyming couplets.

The Bad: Your cookbook begins with:
"Whether rhubarb or truffles or grain,
Our goal is avoiding ptomaine!"
No one buys the book.

The Good: You decide to write a cookbook using rhyming couplets.

The Bad: Your cookbook begins with:
"Whether rhubarb or truffles or grain,
Our goal is avoiding ptomaine!"
No one buys the book.

The Ugly: Your contract states: “In the event that at least one book is sold the publisher considers all of them sold.’ The fine print requires that you buy the unsold books. Since you bought one copy to give to your mother you are on the hook.)

The Good: You wrap the books and send them off as Christmas presents.

The Good: You wrap the books and send them off as Christmas presents.

The Bad: You failed to pay the correct postage and all of books were returned to you.

The Good: You wrap the books and send them off as Christmas presents.

The Bad: You failed to pay the correct postage and all of books were returned to you.

The Ugly: While in the Christmas spirit, it felt cute to list your return address as S. Claus, North Pole.


The Good: You are visiting Europe for Christmas!

The Good: You are visiting Europe for Christmas!

The Bad: You are accompanied by your obnoxious brother-in-law, who is paying for the trip.

The Good: You are visiting Europe for Christmas!

The Bad: You are accompanied by your obnoxious brother-in-law, who is paying for the trip.

The Ugly: When you check into the hotel his credit card is declined, and he turns and asks you to “front" the money for the trip, adding, “You know I’m good for it.”

The Good: This year's bonus was larger than expected.

The Good: This year's bonus was larger than expected.

The Bad: Turns out your Brother-in-Law isn't 'good for it' and you end up paying for the trip yourself.

The Good: This year's bonus was larger than expected.

The Bad: Turns out your Brother-in-Law isn't 'good for it' and you end up paying for the trip yourself.

The Ugly: Two weeks after you return your credit card statement shows that the hotel charged you for four plush hotel-robes, two pillows, seven mini bottles of whisky, and $100 worth of chocolate covered macadamia nuts that were missing from your brother-in-law’s mini fridge. On Christmas Day, you open the present from him to find a hotel robe. With a beaming smile he says, “I wanted you to have a memento from our trip.”

The Good: You really like the robe.

The Good: You really like the robe.

The Bad: A detective turns up with a warrant, saying the robe was shoplifted.

The Good: You really like the robe.

The Bad: A detective turns up with a warrant, saying the robe was shoplifted.

The Ugly: Your brother-in-law testifies against you in court.

The Good: The judge doesn’t believe a word he says, and you are acquitted.

The Good: The judge doesn’t believe a word he says, and you are acquitted.

The Bad: Cheerfully, you start for home, but at an intersection a drunk bumps into you and causes you to fall under the wheels of a garbage truck.

The Good: The judge doesn’t believe a word he says, and you are acquitted.

The Bad: Cheerfully, you start for home, but at an intersection a drunk bumps into you and causes you to fall under the wheels of a garbage truck.

The Ugly: You are taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital where you are pronounced DOA.

The Good: A doctor brings in a group of third-year medical students to practice using defibrillator paddles on you. After the second jolt you sit up and shout, “Stop it, I hate electric shocks.” Three students faint.

The Good: A doctor brings in a group of third-year medical students to practice using defibrillator paddles on you. After the second jolt you sit up and shout, “Stop it, I hate electric shocks.” Three students faint.

The Bad: As you continue to recover, your brother-in-law turns up with flowers and a sympathy card and a document which--in your weakened state--you sign without realizing that you've given him power of attorney over all your affairs.