Sexual tension.

AJMcGough

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So I know what sexual tension IS, is being discussed, but how does everyone feel about it. Do you like it to last as long as possible? Do you like it subtle, not subtle, or do you think it depends on the type of book. Just wondering about preferences.

Personally, I think it depends on the book, but I like it to last as long as possible. Although, sometime I can be impatient and I'm like "JUST DO IT ALREADY!!" Not necessarily "it" but kissing, making a move, admitting attraction, etc.
 

LA*78

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I like subtlety in the building of the tension. Little, almost insignificant, details that indicate the potential for deeper feelings whether they be on a conscious level or not. Things like innocent touches that linger. Knowing how the other person's likes/dislikes and becoming frustrated when a 3rd party gets it wrong etc.

I'm not such a fan of the instant attraction 'electric shocks' that sometimes leave me wondering if the MCs are about to spontaneously combust. It takes the will they / won't they fun out of it for me.
 
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AJMcGough

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I'm not such a fan of the instant attraction 'electric shocks' that sometimes leave me wondering if the MCs are about to spontaneously combust. It takes the will they / won't they fun out of it for me.

That's so funny because when I'm reading I laugh at those types of comments. But when I'm writing they creep up in there. I go back and edit and I'm like "Alexis...seriously? What are you doing here..." and then try and make things a little more subtle.

"He said my name and it was like a bolt of lightening striking my spine. I couldn't breathe. I was frozen."

I've never been frozen even in the most nerve wracking situations lol.
 

Mark W.

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There is a limit however. An author can drag tension past the point where it is pleasurable for the reader and then the reader turns on the author. They toss the book across the room and scream, "COME ON, KISS HER ALREADY!" Or some such. The author has to know when to continue the tension and when to pull the trigger to release it. That play back and forth is what makes a writer, a Good Author.
 

V.J. Allison

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I've been reading this thread, and I think I'd better polish things in my own work. I have some, but it's not as good as I want it to be. :e2smack:
 

Renee J

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I've been reading this thread, and I think I'd better polish things in my own work. I have some, but it's not as good as I want it to be. :e2smack:

I thought the same thing about my own work. I've decided to delay the first kiss.
 

V.J. Allison

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I thought the same thing about my own work. I've decided to delay the first kiss.

I'm doing that in my current WIP. I'm thinking maybe chapter 7, or after that, at the earliest... If I can get the build up and tension between them just right!

Ugh, in my other two manuscripts, the first one had the first kiss in chapter five, and in the second one it was chapter 3. Yeah, too early. Lesson learned!
 

Sandbar

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The thing, for me, with unresolved sexual tension is that it can't stall. You can move things along incrementally, one step forward, two back, two forward, one forward, back to start, etc...there has to be motion along the way to the Big Bang in chapter twenty. You can't have them exchange smouldering looks in chapters one through sixteen and nothing else happen, or it's going to bore your readers to tears by chapter nine.
 

Renee J

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It's like a fire. You have to keep adding kindling or it will go out. On the other hand, if you add a big log on top before there's a good fire going, it's going to die out quick.
 

Jett.

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Someone on AW pointed out this blog ["Be a sex-writing strumpet"], about how to write sex scenes, but also gives suggestion on foreplay and use of evocative words even before the consummation.

I'm not a fan of intriguing electric glances; so I want to try a subliminal route, spicing up otherwise non-sexual situations around MC and LI only in the vocabulary. I'm still working on it and relying too heavily on thesaurus, but here some attempts:

"I'm going to hit him in the face."
"I need to pound him on the face."

Her eyes skimmed over his clothing. "Gee, that's one hideous shirt!" she said.
Her eyes brushed over his clothing. "Gee, that's one hideous shirt!" she gasped.

"Hey, want to get something to eat?" - "Yeah, I didn't have lunch yet."
"Hey, do you want to grab a bite?" - "Yeah, I'm starving."
 
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Becky Black

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The thing, for me, with unresolved sexual tension is that it can't stall. You can move things along incrementally, one step forward, two back, two forward, one forward, back to start, etc...there has to be motion along the way to the Big Bang in chapter twenty. You can't have them exchange smouldering looks in chapters one through sixteen and nothing else happen, or it's going to bore your readers to tears by chapter nine.

I agree there. Years ago I was writing this huge long series and it was sexual tension a-go-go. The characters were in love, but in their circumstances couldn't act on it for a long, long time. But they're human, they're weak and there were "incidents." Just kissing, not sex. But every time one of these incidents happened it had to make things change between them in substantial way. They couldn't just reset back to where they were before it happened, there had to be a new reaction, a new level of tension. Otherwise it would have become very repetitive.

So, yes, if you're going to draw the sexual tension out - and I love that :D - you've got to develop and change it through the story, not just let them get into a loop of the same thing over and over.
 

V.J. Allison

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Awesome advice, everyone. I'm going to do my best to drag things out in the new WIP, and hopefully I can get things just right, and keep it ultra hot at the same time.

I was thinking the occasional brushing of the arm, some carrying on/teasing, maybe a few innuendos and a few other things would work for my style of writing.
 

sohalt

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The idea is to prevent the progress of the relationship as long as plausibly possible, by having the couple drag their feet to every single of the usual milestones (attraction - consumation - committment; not necessarily in that order). Denial is your friend here. Love requires a series of revelations, each potentially difficult in its own right: First you need to admit it to yourself, then you need to admit it to the other, then you need to admit it to the rest of the world (the last step is debateable - the rest of the world ceases to exist for the lovers in the early throes of limerence - but it’s generally inevitable if you’re longing for more than an affair). The process can be further complicated by having the lovers be aware of the fact that physcial attraction doesn’t automatically translate to a lasting emotional bond.

I) Prototypical Progress (when the emotional aspects pose the greatest difficulty)

1) Meet-Cute

It’s not that you feel particularly drawn to him or something - I mean, he’s kinda handsome, in a bland way if you’re into that sort of thing (you’re not; you’re more for the unconventional type), or maybe he has quite beautiful eyes, and he acts like he’s all that, but he’s not exactly Brad Pitt - but circumstances have necessitated interaction, during which he has managed to somehow rub you the wrong way. Maybe he challenges something you hold very dear. Maybe he has something you don’t have and you don’t quite know yet how to feel about being reminded of this lack. Maybe his mere existence represents something that’s opposed to everything you stand for. But mainly you’re just annoyed at yourself for wasting any attention on him in the first place - like you’d be annoyed at catching an earworm. So what if you’ve been going on about him for the last couple of paragraphs? That just goes to show how easily you can get hung up on the most insignificant details, or how terribly bored you are, how desperate for any sort of distraction. But enough with the procrastination. You’ve got more important things on your plate.

2) You keep running into each other

The interaction necessitating circumstances endure. There are ever new reasons for having to deal with the guy - they are, maybe, a bit byzantine at times, but really, totally, pragmatically justified. You keep noticing new facets to his personality, but every time you start to think you might have misjudged him, he does something that reaffirms your worst prejudices. You, however, have bigger fish to fry; it might even seem opportune to go for a temporal strategical alliance with Mr. Not All That. Turns out he’s not completely useless. You find yourself developing first symptoms of grudging respect. Still, you can’t wait for the end of those interaction necessitating circumstances. You have every reason to assume that this state of affairs is mutual.

3) Okay, you’ve had a sex-dream about him, so what?

Dreams may be the royal road to the unconscious, but you’re not supposed to take them too literally, obviously. You once had a sex dream about Ronald McDonald, for what it’s worth. Some depths of the unconscious better remain unexplored.

4) Fine. Fine. You’re fantasizing about him when you masturbate.

He is kinda hot. You’ve never denied that. Not your usual type, to be sure, but you haven’t gotten laid in a while, and you’ve been seeing entirely too much of him lately, so he’s kinda wormed his way into your mind by mere exposure. Like one of those devious commercials that aren’t even creative or clever, but you basically can’t escape them, and when you’re standing in front of the shelf, you find yourself reaching for the brand, without thinking about it. You’d like to think you’re pretty classy about it, but sometimes you catch yourself leering and you pray to some higher entity (you may or may not remotedly believe in) he (the guy, not the entity) won’t notice, because you’ve grown somewhat attached to your last shreds of dignity. You have started to treat him more politely, because you’re suddenly painfully aware that your previous constant bickering could be taken the wrong way by someone who’s watched too many shitty rom-coms.

5) Pretty sure, it’s all just repressive desublimation anyway.

Really, it makes perfect sense that you can’t get him out of your head, if you think about it. By now, he’s so strongly associated with that other big thing going on in your life, that it’s only natural for you to get your feelings mixed up. And that other thing is such a big hopeless mess and you are at the end of your wisdom now and this here, while also messy and pointless, seems a bit more familiar at least. It’s a pressure valve. it’s a coping mechanism. Whatever keeps you functional. And it’s completely harmless, ultimately, because it’s not as if you’d ever act on it. Not because you are so unfailingly virtuous, no. Because there’s not the slightest temptation, because there’s not the slightest opportunity. You’ve seen the type of girl he goes for. That’s not you. That’s not you at all.

6) Talk of lacking opportunities might have been premature.

So maybe he’s always been treating you as coldly as you were treating him, but there’ve been cracks in the armor recently. Maybe he’s disturbed by your sudden discovery of manners because he’s used to being the more detached one and he’s suspiciously not okay with your withdrawal of attention. Or maybe he has actually been hitting on you rather blatantly all this time, and you’ve always assumed that’s just the way some men are - they seem to believe you’d be insulted if they didn’t, or they suspect it’s the easiest way to make you uncomfortable and throw you off your game - but lately you’ve been thinking, maybe it’s really not as pathetic or sinister as that, maybe he’s really just rather promiscuous and undiscriminating. Anway, there have been ~ circumstances. Physical proximity necessitating circumstances. Circumstances that resulted in ~ lingering (of eyes, of hands even). You might be naive; you might be delusional; but you can’t help feeling, you sorta, kinda might have had a bit of a moment right there?

7) You’ve come to an understanding.

We’re all grown ups here. So why not just talk this through? Sure, there’s no future in it, but that need not be a deterrent. Some things you just have to get out of your system before you can move on. The fastest way to get over temptation is to give in to it. No need to make a big deal about it. No need to make it a habit. Laws of diminishing returns. Peace of mind restored once the novelty wears off. Brilliant plan. What could possibly go wrong?

8) Everything goes wrong.

9) You can’t even look at him any more, and it’s killing you.

(10) You get therapy.)

(10) You get thee to a nunnery.)

(10) Your precocious baby sister shares some words of wisdom, inspiring a mad dash to the airport, where you catch him just in time to win him back with a public declaration of love).

(10) Your sassy gay friend shares some words of wisdom, inspiring a mad dash, etc, etc.)

(10) Your sassy black friend, words of wisdom, airport, the works.)

(10) Sassy fat friend of any colour or sexual orientation also works, I guess.)

(10) ?????)


(10) Profit)

(10) You realize that at some point he had to make a choice and he chose you and that freaked you out. You realize you made a couple of choices yourself and you always chose him, because guess what, you’ve already made a habit out of it. Maybe at this point he still cares to hear that. Maybe he doesn’t. Ah well. You’re probably supposed to be alone. )


Okay, I suck at romance. Disregard.
 
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V.J. Allison

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Hey, don't say you "suck" at romance, sohalt. You have several good points there, and I've used a few in my first two manuscripts already, like the sassy and wise gay or bisexual male friend and how the lead female can't look at the guy because it hurts so much.

I admit I prefer George Eads over Brad Pitt, but that's just me.....
 

Pisco Sour

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I had read loads of romances since I was a young girl and in the year before I began writing, I averaged between 250 - 300 per year (what can I say, there's a lot of sheep around here and nothing much to do). But when I went to write my first novel I dithered when it came to the sex scenes. I loved reading sexual tension and great sex, but could I write that stuff? I'm hardly an acrobat in bed and hey, don't show me naked people or I might choke on my Earl Grey.
I turned to Stacia Kane's Be a Sex-Writing Strumpet (And Stacia, if you're reading this sorry I never fan-wrote to say how much it helped. At the time I was too shy and insecure, but better late than never!) I read '...Strumpet' by chance once day and -holy shit! It made a huge difference.
I also read a book with an essay by Shoshanna Evers (How to Write Hot Sex... downloaded from Amazon) which really helped. Ms Evers wrote back to me after I wrote to thank her for the essay, delighted her book helped me with my scenes.

The book I wrote after implementing what I'd learned had offers from every publisher I submitted to (except two who I didn't research properly and shouldn't have subbed to). I'm not being cocky about my book, just saying those two guides helped to get my first ms sold. They made me think about the sensory details involved in attraction, the nuances of verbal and non-verbal communication. The physical and mental stimulation process during tactile and non-tactile arousal.

The editors who offered on my book said the tension and sex scenes were "amazing", "raw" , "emotional" and the teams "loved" how I handled the build-up and 'the act'. Now, I didn't think this book would sell because I broke lots of written and perhaps un-written rules of romance: abrasive, unlikeable anti-heroine; slutty heroine; adultery;MC drug and alcohol abuse; sex with the hero a few hours after they meet, etc. However, I was able to create at that one, initial meeting and the subsequent sex scene, the desire for these two people to get their HEA, in spite of established romance rules (or so I'm told). I left the reader aching for more nookie and not getting it until the end of the book, building up the sexual tension in increments as the book progressed. I couldn't have done it without taking the advice I read in those two 'how to' books, and sticking to my guns about the story I wanted to tell.
Warning: you may want to write sex all the time, though, and you should read Kane and Evers' tips with your partner within reach.
For practical research. ;)
LOL.
 
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ECathers

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I had read loads of romances since I was a young girl and in the year before I began writing, I averaged between 250 - 300 per year (what can I say, there's a lot of sheep around here and nothing much to do). But when I went to write my first novel I dithered when it came to the sex scenes. I loved reading sexual tension and great sex, but could I write that stuff? I'm hardly an acrobat in bed and hey, don't show me naked people or I might choke on my Earl Grey.
I turned to Stacia Kane's Be a Sex-Writing Strumpet (And Stacia, if you're reading this sorry I never fan-wrote to say how much it helped. At the time I was too shy and insecure, but better late than never!) I read '...Strumpet' by chance once day and -holy shit! It made a huge difference.
I also read a book with an essay by Shoshanna Evers (How to Write Hot Sex... downloaded from Amazon) which really helped. Ms Evers wrote back to me after I wrote to thank her for the essay, delighted her book helped me with my scenes.

The book I wrote after implementing what I'd learned had offers from every publisher I submitted to (except two who I didn't research properly and shouldn't have subbed to). I'm not being cocky about my book, just saying those two guides helped to get my first ms sold. They made me think about the sensory details involved in attraction, the nuances of verbal and non-verbal communication. The physical and mental stimulation process during tactile and non-tactile arousal.

The editors who offered on my book said the tension and sex scenes were "amazing", "raw" , "emotional" and the teams "loved" how I handled the build-up and 'the act'. Now, I didn't think this book would sell because I broke lots of written and perhaps un-written rules of romance: abrasive, unlikeable anti-heroine; slutty heroine; adultery;MC drug and alcohol abuse; sex with the hero a few hours after they meet, etc. However, I was able to create at that one, initial meeting and the subsequent sex scene, the desire for these two people to get their HEA, in spite of established romance rules (or so I'm told). I left the reader aching for more nookie and not getting it until the end of the book, building up the sexual tension in increments as the book progressed. I couldn't have done it without taking the advice I read in those two 'how to' books, and sticking to my guns about the story I wanted to tell.
Warning: you may want to write sex all the time, though, and you should read Kane and Evers' tips with your partner within reach.
For practical research. ;)
LOL.

Thanks much for the book suggestions! (Or is the first an article?) Going to look for them now!

Important Question: Will writing about sex make me go blind or grow hair on my palms?
 

ECathers

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That's so funny because when I'm reading I laugh at those types of comments. But when I'm writing they creep up in there. I go back and edit and I'm like "Alexis...seriously? What are you doing here..." and then try and make things a little more subtle.

"He said my name and it was like a bolt of lightening striking my spine. I couldn't breathe. I was frozen."

I've never been frozen even in the most nerve wracking situations lol.


ROFL! Yes! I have never felt sexual attraction as a lightning bolt. Maybe as INTENSE as a lightning bolt, but I've had small electric shocks on occasion (ancient hairdryer when I was a kid) and didn't find anything sexual or in the least nice about it.
 

Wilde_at_heart

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To my mind, tension is the difference between what a character wants to do and what they feel they can do at that point in time. So anything that contributes to good imagination but constrained expression.

That's what I was thinking - nothing like a formal setting, or the presence of others, particularly ones who Would Not Approve.

Thanks much for the book suggestions! (Or is the first an article?) Going to look for them now!

Important Question: Will writing about sex make me go blind or grow hair on my palms?

If they enjoy it, yes :D
 
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Sonsofthepharaohs

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sohalt said:
The fastest way to get over temptation is to give in to it.

^^ LOVE

This is my new life/love motto. I might even get it embroidered on some ridiculously impractical knickers :D