Old, tired clichés.

Writers as heroines. Especially if they write erotic romance, and especially if they're heading off to someone's cabin to finish their latest book. Ugh!

I HATE it when the woman is some strong, independent woman who repeatedly resists the man she's attracted to and denies it when she realizes she's in love with him until the very end. I know that's a big plot, but change it up somehow. I hate that cuz I wanna roll my eyes.

I'm a woman, and as such I can't imagine being so stupid and stubborn.

So many writers make them that way.

Where to start?

- Hero with scarred back
- Heroine kissing aforementioned scarred back
- Hero busting into heroine's room because she's screaming from a nightmare, only to realize that she's wearing nothing but a flimsy negligee...
- Nightmares as a plot device
- Hero assuming based on minimal evidence that heroine is a tramp, which makes him furious, even though he himself will bonk anything that moves
- Hero's first wife is or was an unmitigated bitch from hell with no redeeming qualities whatsoever
- Heroine struggling to keep her small business afloat, usually a "girly" business that in real life would have tenuous income potential at best: pet rescue, bakery, perfume shop, personal shopper, matchmaker
- Oh dear, we're both soaked from this sudden storm! Let's duck into this abandoned, but furnished, cabin and remove our clothes so that we can combine our body heat to stay warm!
- Chiseled anything
- Hero assuring wide-eyed heroine that yes, in fact, it'll fit
- The secret baby conceived after a single night of sex at age 17
- Heroine getting turned on by cutting hero's hair

Give me more time and I'll think of a dozen more.

A heroine with a gay best friend. Make the character different and not the stereotypical gay man, please.

The "Big Misunderstanding".

Secret Baby plots.

She is supposed to be "feisty" but she's just a bitch.

Alpha Males who are really just A-holes.

I will never, ever understand the "secret baby" plot.

Sexually-experienced hero and virgin heroine. Hello, we're in the 21st century here.

Billionaire heroes. Silhouette Desire, are you listening?

Successful but emotionally cold heroines (at least until the hero comes along).

"So big.... it can't possibly fit..."

*headdesk* every time

The stupid misunderstands that can be cleared up with simple, direct communication.

I could turn this into a whole drinking game, but then we'd all die of alcohol poisoning.

My most loathed virginity cliche is where the hero is really turned on by the idea of getting first crack at the pinata. Bonus points if the heroine is described as "pure", "innocent", "unspoiled" or "fresh" (the last one makes me think of tampon commercials).

Regarding pregnancy cliches, there's the one where the heroine thinks she's barren and therefore Less Of A Woman and she wants babies so badly. Joy, it turns out to be her evil dead first husband who was infertile! Bonus points if the epilogue shows her with five adorable children and pregnant with six more.

I'm getting queasy just reading this thread.

I'll add mine-- male & female MCs Too Stupid To Live.

You know who you are.

We must not allowed them to pass on their genes.



RE the billionaire heroes. I don't like them either, but apparently they sell to some large market share. Kinda like Cassie Edward's plagiarization-plagued Native Americans Indians.

Me too

Gillhoughly said:

I'm getting queasy just reading this thread.

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The happiness = baby cliche in its myriad forms. Bleah, not always and not for everyone.

"So big.... it can't possibly fit..."

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I'd laugh if one time I read about a virgin who said that, got reassured by Hero Who Probably Falls Forward a Lot, and it turns out it really doesn't fit.

Or maybe the Heroine's Mum told her it was a good thing to say to the Hero to pump his ego?

I think I might scrap my ( no not secret, just unexpected) pregnancy angle in the WIP now though.

The single tear.
He thinks she's not a virgin but she really is and he's all surprized in the middle of sex.
Mantitty on covers.
Precocious children.

Gillhoughly said:

RE the billionaire heroes. I don't like them either, but apparently they sell to some large market share. Kinda like Cassie Edward's plagiarization-plagued Native Americans Indians.

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Good freaking lord who buys the billionare heros?? The appeal of those vapid, plotless pieces of crap are absolutely beyond me.

I refuse to submit anything to harlequin until they stop printing them.

More cliches, this time about contraception (or the lack thereof) :

Hero and heroine have unprotected sex and never, ever think of pregnancy. Bonus points if this leads to the Secret Baby, and if the hero learns of the child's existence and jumps to the conclusion that the heroine Did It with the Evil Other Man.

That ruined The Thorn Birds for me, by the way. What, the guy couldn't even do the math? He could have taken his pants down if he needed to count to eleven.

Heroine is living in a time when pregnant unmarried women were shunned, so she has unprotected sex with the hero while refusing his marriage proposal. Bonus points if he continues to think of her as intelligent.

Hero doesn't want to have children, so he relies on the heroine to use protection. You all know what happens next.

kimb68 said:

- Heroine getting turned on by cutting hero's hair

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Seriously? I cut my husband's hair all the time and it never turns me on. I must be doing it wrong.

Maybe they're not referring to the hair on his head.

Queen of Swords said:

Maybe they're not referring to the hair on his head.

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Ah, well, that might do it then. I'll remember for next time.

There is also the washing of the hair. Usually him doing to her.

jennontheisland said:

There is also the washing of the hair. Usually him doing to her.

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Cliché or not, that sounds pretty good. I could go for a sensual hair wash.

I'd like to add something but I'm laughing too hard at what everyone else has said. This thread is better than chocolate and I'm all for making it a drinking game.

And I know these aren't cliche, but in historical romances do you ever think about:
What her legs look like. I mean, can we say hairy?
Same goes for underarms.

On to cliches:
teasing her nipple, taut nipples, hardened peaks, rosebud nipples
any reference to anything about manhood
number of climaxes (or are they just getting to the good part and backing off, again and again)
forced sex of any kind

Sensual hair wash is yummy. Hair trimming is just itchy.

Oh yes, I hate the heroine who is supposed to be brilliant (everyone says so) but is TSTL (too stupid to live) and runs around putting herself in danger. She knows that a crazy villian wants to kidnap her, but she insists on standing in harm's way. Moron.

I've actually seen silky legs in historicals. Not smooth, but silky. I guess it must have been referring to the hair. lol.

Don't get me started on the climaxes. Especially when they both climax at the same freakin' time like clockwork.

ETA: I thought of another cliche that always elicits a from me: a marriage of convenience in a contemporary romance.