Writing as a hobby

Yes. I find some comfort that the comments (and annoyance) seem to be universal!

The worst comment I ever had about writing was from a friend's bitchy, smartass older sister, who told me, quote, "You'll never get published."

Which, well, in my head I replied with a seventh-grade FUCK OFF, MANDY. In real life I timidly blustered about whatever I knew about the publishing industry and how it actually is possible to be published.

But really I don't think anyone's given me crap about writing. I guess I'm lucky. Mostly, though, I think people just figure I'm so off-beat, they wouldn't be surprised at me doing anything.

I've talked ad nauseam about the book I've been working on for five years to my five sisters, my brother, and my friends. Not one has had anything bad to say - to my face.

people i know support my writing. Even my mother, who supports nothing else. She's told all her friends how great a writer I am and makes them read whatever story she's got lying around. Gee thanks mom. Where was that support when I was growing up?

All bitterness aside, I really really get annoyed with the idiots who say "I always wanted to write a book, maybe this summer i'll take a month off. I have this great idea."

Are we allowed to slap them? That would make it easier to have to listen to them if we knew we could bitch slap them when they're done mouthing off.

I have to admit, no one's ever called my writing a "hobby" (at least not to my face - hmm... maybe they just know better ) Just the opposite, really. My family's always been "when you get published, not if" and, until I sold my first book, most of my friends didn't know I was even trying to get published - since I don't usually talk about it, even now.

And yes, I think we should be allowed to slap anyone who says anything remotely similar to they'll write a book when they find time. Um... is their day any shorter than mine? I thought they all had 24 hours in them?

My family and friends have been very supportive of my writing but I do detect the basic amazement when they say, 'My dad's written a book and it's really good!' as though they didn't think that was possible.

It's at book signings people can say things that they really should be shot for. You know the sort of things - 'I don't need an editor for MY work', and comments that add up to, 'well, if you can get published I should find no difficulty.' Then there are the people who need to be told (but I don't have the guts). One person had written 200,000 words of their life history to the age of 21, and was going to send it to all major publishers to let them fight over it!

Yes, sometimes getting out there to market your work is difficult.

Well, most people who do interesting things started as hobbiests. All that means is that you don't get paid, or rarely do. It is like Amature. I'd ignore it.

All the time. My family is of the mind that if I'm not making money off it (I'm not seeking publication, just trying to entertain people), then it's not important. They've said as much, themselves. They don't go making a point of belittling me all the time, but that alone is bad enough, especially considering that they all have hobbies (woodcarving, beading, etc.) that the people around here are actually willing to pay for. Nobody in this area seems to care much for reading.

And for some weird reason they used to keep thinking I wrote "children's books." Wha--?? When I was a child I wrote children's stories, because, you know, I was a child, but if they knew what stuff I write about now...!

Back to the subject of the post, what irks me is how very many people I come across online, especially on art-related sites, spend all their time creating artwork of the grand books and book series they're "going to write." They go on at length about all the plot details and characters and whatnot but when it comes down to it...they never write a word. Okay. MAYBE one chapter, out of sequence. But the rest of the time, they're too busy creating art for the "book to come" or just talking about it. I'm all for enthusiasm, but if you're never going to write the stupid thing, just admit it and stop calling yourself a writer. You have to actually write something to be a writer.

What's even more infuriating is that these people are usually mega-popular for their art and there are tons of people hanging on every word which they never end up writing...while the people who actually do write don't get that much notice. I'm starting to think the very reason these people are so popular is BECAUSE they don't deliver the goods, thus their fans (who are there for the art, not the writing) won't have to spend a lot of time reading!

But I'm cynical that way.

KTC said:

I was discouraged at a very young age... continuously.

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Me too.

I'm hoping it stops soon.

I think it is a matter of perspective. I do consider writing my hobby. People are always giving me grief about this.

I have heard the "I would write if I had more time" before. No one's said the "hobby" thing to me though. For the most part, when people find out, they're excited.

The only person who kind of undercut me was my mother-in-law. I love her to death, and I'm not sure it was intentional, but it was a little bit of a blow. My husband was telling his parents that I'd finished my first novel. He's so proud of me, it's funny! Anyway, my father-in-law asks me about it and shows interest and tells me he thinks that's really admirable. He even tells me that he tried to write a novel once. Then, my mother-in-law who hasn't said anything the whole time says,

"You know who can write really well? Sarah. She is such a great writer."

Sarah is my sister-in-law. Without going into details, she's trouble and hurts and angers everyone else in an effort to do whatever's best for her. She's the most selfish, obnoxious, fake person I know.

Pissed me off. Even my husband apologized to me later for his mother's lack of interest or support.

*shrugs* Whatever. I have enough support without her.

veinglory said:

I think it is a matter of perspective. I do consider writing my hobby. people are always giving me greif about this.

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I suspect you're right.

Writing has NEVER been a hobby for me. I might fuck around with day jobs and relationships and passing fancies, but writing has always been the still point around which my life revolves. I joke that I write because I'm "ill-suited for real work", but the truth is, I write because it's who I am. Plain and simple. I don't always give it the primacy that I should, and it may frustrate me and drive me crazy some days, but writing is probably the only place in my life that I feel complete.

That aint a hobby. A psychosis, maybe, but not a hobby.

I haven't been able to write a whole lot at the moment so I don't mention it to people. I'm not a prolific person.

When I got my short story published ages ago someone at work asked how much it made ($5). There reply, "That won't pay the bills." I looked them straight in the eye and said, "That's why I'm still here."

Next time I'm not going to say cause I don't need to deal with dumb comments like that.

Why can't writing be a hobby? I don't know. A lot of writers seem to think they have to get published or else their time was wasted. Is this a natural consequence of the depth of communication that writing embodies, the time it takes a reader to appreciate it? Other arts, like painting or singing or dancing, can be immediately experienced (at least on a superficial level) -- reading, even on a superficial level, requires a more substantial commitment.

With the proliferation of fiction and poetry sites on the web, including fan sites, including blogging, I think more people ARE growing content with writing as amateurs -- they can put their work out to the world and get readers and responses without paid publication. Watch this trend.

Still, there are those of us for whom only bound books in real bookstores will do. This is the validation we must have. Is it the same for other artists? Will they never rest until their paintings are in galleries, their feet on the stage of the Met? Is the drive for official recognition as important for them?

Another thing: Most people CAN write -- they know how to put words down on paper, learned it in school, have no great awe for the act. The graphic and plastic arts, music and dance, are more specialties, and most people find talent in them impressive. They could NEVER draw or sing or dance like that! But if they only had the TIME, they could turn out publishable work.

This is the truly annoying thing, that the average Joe doesn't appreciate the craft writing requires. But if you think about it, the average Joe also doesn't appreciate the craft of painting, is as happy with a black velvet bull fighter as with a Rembrandt -- or happier. And, you know what? You probably don't appreciate the intricacies of the plumbing or masonry or electrical work that Joe does. Or the lawyering or the doctoring or the nuclear sciencing.

Comes down to: We should all write like amateurs, lovers of the art. If we can't do this, if the Grail of publication is all that will make us happy, then are we really writers?

Does that reverse the popular judgment: You're not a real writer unless you're published? Good. It's supposed to.

All bitterness aside, I really really get annoyed with the idiots who say "I always wanted to write a book, maybe this summer i'll take a month off. I have this great idea."

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Yeah, I heard this just this past weekend. Ugh.

To be fair, there are people who write as a hobby, and some of the people who assume this about others may not mean to be demeaning; they may simply know other hobby writers and draw the wrong conclusion.

People give the "if I only had time" statement to whatever it is you say you do that they don't really want to do but want to sound like they're cool and with it. frex:

"I train dogs."
"Oh, I'd train mine if I had time."
"I also write a lot."
"I would too, if I had time."
"And make quilts."
"Oh, if only I had the time!"
"I read fifty books this summer."
"I'd do that if my life was as boring as yours, but hey, *I'm* a busy person!"

Or at least, sometimes I get that sort of dismissiveness from them, whereas with some I do get a sort of wistful longing. When I suggest not watching TV in order to have more time, though, the people usually change their minds.

Mostly, I've been surrounded by people who have encouraged me, including my sister, who declared the (terrible) book I wrote in college as "the best book I've ever read in my life!" Hey, with betas like that, I can deal with a few rejection slips!

As far as dismissive words about it being a hobby...so what? It is. At least for most of us. It's a hobby that requires particular talent and brings incredible pleasure, and it is interesting, so I wouldn't find that statement annoying at all, unless it was said in one of those really patronizing tones. Then I would just assume it was jealousy.

--Q

Phael - I don't think anyone here is saying writing can't be a hobby. But for people for whom it isn't a hobby, for whom it is a job, something they want to build a life and a career around, for those people it can get frustrating after having expressed that passion to others, to have others quantify their goals as "hobby". "Hobby" suggests that it's a part time love, that you have a real job that is your real focus, I mean "Hobby" is defined as:

hobby 1 |ˈhäbē|
noun ( pl. -bies)
1 an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It's only wrong when that is not the definition of what you are doing.

But I agree with you, not every goal in life needs to be the highest form of excellence. Heck writing was a hobby for me as well up until three years ago. I was perfectly content to write on my computer, occasionally read some of my stuff aloud to family or friends and that was it. Something changed, and I desired publication, but up until my goals changed I was utterly content having writing as a hobby.

And I agree as well with your assessment of others and their views of writing (though personally I do appreciate the finesse it requires to be a plumber, or contractor, or lawyer - having had friends who do all of these things, I am in awe of them), and no we shouldn't take it personally, I know I don't. But sometimes, especially if you've never really had the empathy and support from your nearest and dearest, it's nice to vent. I'm lucky, I've had nothing but support from my friends and family.

Not everyone else has.

I think it is incorrect to say something done as a hobby is presumably done to a non-excellent standard. Look at your own defintion, it says done in leisure time for pleasure. I agreed totally. I write in my leisure time, for pleasure. I still submit to editors a product I consider to be excellent and they respect it enough to accept and publish it. Hence my occassional tagline: write for love, publish for money. One person's insult is another person's postive and non-derogatory self-description. I think that the flip side of asking people not to use the term incorrectly on you, is not to use it in a negative sense on others.

Well...okay. I can see the "hobby" statement being annoying if you're someone who really is doing it on a serious, full time, professional level with businesslike goals of publication. Then the "hobby" thing does come across as dismissive.

People do tend to see writing as a leisure sort of thing. But I still think they're jealous.

--Q

veinglory - I did not mean to offend. When I wrote "not every goal in life needs to be the highest form of excellence" I didn't mean that activities one did as a hobby COULDN'T be worked on with the goal of the highest form of excellence, simply that not everything we did in our life NEEDED to have that goal. Of course when one is passionate about something, anything, one wants to get really good at it, be it a sport, or an artform or whathaveyou.

However, I think lines get blurred in situations like yours. You see for me the hobby of writing, was writing for myself, not seeking publication. When I decided to write to be published, that's when it no longer was a hobby for me. For you you consider the exact same situation to be "hobby". I did not mean to offend you, but we obviously look at things differently when it comes to how we approach this artform. I envy you actually that you write for pleasure. I probably could take a leaf out of your book and not take my writing quite as seriously as I do (that is not meant as a veiled insult - "I take writing more seriously than you" - no, I truly believe I should 'lighten up". It's a flaw of mine in many different aspects of my life) , I wish I could look at the love first, the publication second as you say. But for me it's become the other way around. I know of others for whom this is also the case. I don't think it makes me any less passionate that my first goal is to be published, just different.

Nonetheless, surely you could then see how someone defining writing to me as a "hobby" I could find a bit annoying. Considering how much work I put into it, considering my full time jobs are writing and acting and nothing else, considering how hard it is for me, how sometimes downright painful, it can be almost absurd when others see my effort as a hobby.

But that is me. Not you. We are all different. Surely you can at least empathise where I am coming from?

My writing is a passion! At last, I have the time and manner to get out the words and stories that've filled my brain since I was a kid.
My only problem is a wife who's jealous about my passion, thionking I find it more important than her (will certainly change if I get published and make $$$$$).
It is also an amazing learning experience as I conduct research to ensure what I write is accurate and real.
IT IS NOT A HOBBY!

willietheshakes said:

Me too.

I'm hoping it stops soon.

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I just made them believe it worked. They never mention it.