What's the worst song ever?

[Ravioli]

Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby nooooo

I honestly think Piggy Hill by Tom Green has more depth than that.

 

[Xelebes]

I have a new candidate.

Peter Wyngarde - Golden Throats

 

[Earthling]

The one that consistently sets my teeth on edge is Beyoncé's Single Ladies. I can't stand it.

 

[CindyGirl]

I'm showing my age but: Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun

 

[Twick]

I'm showing my age but: Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun

Oooh, yes. Such vapid self-pity! I can always visualize the singer casting their eyes skyward while breathing the words, thinking, "Baby, I am so deep!"

Just about anything by Madonna drives me out of a store. I think she was really the first performer to make producers think, "Hey, we can have a top-selling female singer who doesn't have to have a voice, if she makes her public identity SEX. Not much else, just the word SEX."

 

[mirandashell]

I know a song that will get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves,
I know a song that will get on your nerves,
Get,
On,
Your,
Nerves.


I know a song that will get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves.

 

[Xelebes]

Oooh, yes. Such vapid self-pity! I can always visualize the singer casting their eyes skyward while breathing the words, thinking, "Baby, I am so deep!"

Hm, it is one of Jacques Brel's finest tunes. Perhaps it doesn't translate well from French.

 

[Twick]

It's not the tune - except it does become an ear-worm - but I think you're right, French cool can turn to maudlin English very easily.

 

[Ketzel]

Considering that the Brel version was a sarcastic farewell to an adulterous wife, I would say the syrupy Terry Jacks' version definitely didn't do justice to the original.

 

[blacbird]

"Seasons in the Sun", a 1970s hit by a jackshit artist appropriately named Terry Jacks. I had the horrid mischance of hearing it on a "classic rock" station just yesterday. Hadn't heard it in thirty years, I don't think. Now I'll need therapy.

caw

 

[Xelebes]

Terry Jacks had some good songs under his belt. I personally never gave much thought to Seasons in the Sun, actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFLXG2yvcGo

 

[Axl Prose]

Two terrible reasons the dirty south gets a bad rap (no pun intended)
Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
Young Dro - F.D.B

And two terrible reasons country music sucks so bad these days
Trace Adkins - Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup

 

[ZachJPayne]

I was going through the way back machine on Youtube, and I pulled up one of my high school favorites -- Celine Dion's Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore, and Dear God, it made me cringe. The lyrics and the music video. I am a HUGE Celine fan, but good God. Here's a rough English translation:

I understood all the words, I understood, thank you.
They were new and made sense, that's why here
Things have changed, and the flowers have wilted
That's why the past was the past
That's why, if everything changes and wears out, then loves also fade away



You should know
I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else
Even if when you dance, others are dancing with you
I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame
I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still



You shouldn't have started, attracted me, touched me
I shouldn't have given so much, I don't know how to play
People tell me that today, they tell me that's how other women do things
I'm not other women
Before we get too close, before we throw it away



You should know
I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else
Even if when you dance, others are dancing with you
I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame
I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still



I'll find other languages to sing your praises
I'll pack our bags for the fields of eternal harvests
I'll say those magic words spoken by African healers
I'll say them with no regrets, so that you love me still



I'll make myself a queen so that you don't leave me
I'll make myself new so the fire starts again
I'll become like those other women who make you happy
Your games will be our games, if that's what you desire
I'll make myself brighter, more beautiful, to rekindle the spark
I'll turn myself to gold, so that you love me still

 

[Hublocker]

One of the best jobs turning a shitty song into a good one is the way Carole Kaye invented a hip bass line for the Sonny and Cher one-chord wonder "the beat goes on."

 

[CWatts]

It's not as bad musically (because of plagiarizing Marvin Gaye, maybe?) as some of the others, but I'm surprised this thread has gone on for 300+ posts without anyone mentioning "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke. Ewww.

 

[Hublocker]

"Seasons in the Sun", a 1970s hit by a jackshit artist appropriately named Terry Jacks. I had the horrid mischance of hearing it on a "classic rock" station just yesterday. Hadn't heard it in thirty years, I don't think. Now I'll need therapy.

caw

But Terry made zillions with it. Bought a big sailboat and called it "Seasons in the sun."

 

[Xelebes]

I was going through the way back machine on Youtube, and I pulled up one of my high school favorites -- Celine Dion's Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore, and Dear God, it made me cringe. The lyrics and the music video. I am a HUGE Celine fan, but good God. Here's a rough English translation:

What part do you find objectionable?

 

[BenPanced]

Cheeses, anybody who lived through the 70's would/could say it's a toss-up:

Run, Joey, Run by David Geddes

Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey (wow. All the way to The Midnight Special, even!)

Playground in My Mind by Clint Holmes

 

[Gynn]

If we're talking musical train wrecks, see how far you can get through these two:
"On the Floor", by IceJJFish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq_d8VSM0nw
"Freaxxx", by BrokenCyde: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

But if we're talking popular songs, then "American Pie" by Don Mclean. It just tries too hard.

 

[Cernex]

While the song is no longer in youtube and its a bit hard to find, if you track down "Don't need You" by a short lived hair metal band called "Burning Desire", I swear you'll regret it the SECOND you hit play. Singer who can't sing for poop, uninspired lyrics (if you can make out what they are before your ears start to bleed), an out-of-tune piano, and an insipid tune overall... it doesn't get any worse, and this is coming from someone who can listen to David "Can't reach a high note for poop" Donato singing every once in a while.

 

[CindyGirl]

Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey (wow. All the way to The Midnight Special, even!)


I had forgotten all about Wildfire. I cringe to think my young teen self sang along to this with my friends.

 

[draosz]

The worst song I know of is the one I haven't written, but I wanted to. Compared to that, all the stuff you are ridiculing here are masterpieces.

 

[BenPanced]

But if we're talking popular songs, then "American Pie" by Don Mclean. It just tries too hard.

I hear that mess firing up and I break the radio changing the station.

 

[Disa]

It's that song I heard by accident years ago while flipping through channels on TV. Shania Twain singing she went to get the mail and broke a nail. I despise country music and this just stuck in my head and will never leave.

 

[stormie]

Can I just throw in the entire Barry Manilow song catalog?

Yep.

Oh wait. I did like "Mandy."