What's the worst song ever?

editing_for_authors
Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

Ravioli

Crazy Cat Lady
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
2,695
Reaction score
405
Location
Germany, native Israeli
Website
annagiladi.wixsite.com
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby oooooh
Baby baby baby nooooo

I honestly think Piggy Hill by Tom Green has more depth than that.
 

Earthling

I come in peace
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 3, 2016
Messages
1,210
Reaction score
190
The one that consistently sets my teeth on edge is Beyoncé's Single Ladies. I can't stand it.
 

Twick

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
3,291
Reaction score
715
Location
Canada
I'm showing my age but: Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun

Oooh, yes. Such vapid self-pity! I can always visualize the singer casting their eyes skyward while breathing the words, thinking, "Baby, I am so deep!"

Just about anything by Madonna drives me out of a store. I think she was really the first performer to make producers think, "Hey, we can have a top-selling female singer who doesn't have to have a voice, if she makes her public identity SEX. Not much else, just the word SEX."
 

mirandashell

Banned
Joined
Feb 7, 2010
Messages
16,197
Reaction score
1,889
Location
England
I know a song that will get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves,
I know a song that will get on your nerves,
Get,
On,
Your,
Nerves.


I know a song that will get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves.


:D
 

Xelebes

Delerium ex Ennui
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 8, 2009
Messages
14,205
Reaction score
885
Location
Edmonton, Canada
Oooh, yes. Such vapid self-pity! I can always visualize the singer casting their eyes skyward while breathing the words, thinking, "Baby, I am so deep!"

Hm, it is one of Jacques Brel's finest tunes. Perhaps it doesn't translate well from French.
 

Twick

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
3,291
Reaction score
715
Location
Canada
It's not the tune - except it does become an ear-worm - but I think you're right, French cool can turn to maudlin English very easily.
 

Ketzel

Leaving on the 2:19
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
1,835
Reaction score
262
Considering that the Brel version was a sarcastic farewell to an adulterous wife, I would say the syrupy Terry Jacks' version definitely didn't do justice to the original. :)
 
Last edited:

blacbird

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 21, 2005
Messages
36,987
Reaction score
6,154
Location
The right earlobe of North America
"Seasons in the Sun", a 1970s hit by a jackshit artist appropriately named Terry Jacks. I had the horrid mischance of hearing it on a "classic rock" station just yesterday. Hadn't heard it in thirty years, I don't think. Now I'll need therapy.

caw
 

ZachJPayne

Beware: #amQuerying
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 15, 2013
Messages
1,265
Reaction score
163
Age
31
Location
Warren, PA
Website
zachjpayne.com
I was going through the way back machine on Youtube, and I pulled up one of my high school favorites -- Celine Dion's Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore, and Dear God, it made me cringe. The lyrics and the music video. I am a HUGE Celine fan, but good God. Here's a rough English translation:



http://lyricstranslate.com/en/pour-que-tu-m039aimes-encore-so-you-love-me-still.html#songtranslation said:
I understood all the words, I understood, thank you.
They were new and made sense, that's why here
Things have changed, and the flowers have wilted
That's why the past was the past
That's why, if everything changes and wears out, then loves also fade away



You should know
I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else
Even if when you dance, others are dancing with you
I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame
I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still



You shouldn't have started, attracted me, touched me
I shouldn't have given so much, I don't know how to play
People tell me that today, they tell me that's how other women do things
I'm not other women
Before we get too close, before we throw it away



You should know
I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else
Even if when you dance, others are dancing with you
I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame
I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still



I'll find other languages to sing your praises
I'll pack our bags for the fields of eternal harvests
I'll say those magic words spoken by African healers
I'll say them with no regrets, so that you love me still



I'll make myself a queen so that you don't leave me
I'll make myself new so the fire starts again
I'll become like those other women who make you happy
Your games will be our games, if that's what you desire
I'll make myself brighter, more beautiful, to rekindle the spark
I'll turn myself to gold, so that you love me still


 

Hublocker

Banned
Joined
Jun 28, 2012
Messages
210
Reaction score
13
One of the best jobs turning a shitty song into a good one is the way Carole Kaye invented a hip bass line for the Sonny and Cher one-chord wonder "the beat goes on."
 

CWatts

down the rabbit hole of research...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
1,453
Reaction score
263
Location
Virginia, USA
It's not as bad musically (because of plagiarizing Marvin Gaye, maybe?) as some of the others, but I'm surprised this thread has gone on for 300+ posts without anyone mentioning "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke. Ewww.
 

Hublocker

Banned
Joined
Jun 28, 2012
Messages
210
Reaction score
13
"Seasons in the Sun", a 1970s hit by a jackshit artist appropriately named Terry Jacks. I had the horrid mischance of hearing it on a "classic rock" station just yesterday. Hadn't heard it in thirty years, I don't think. Now I'll need therapy.

caw

But Terry made zillions with it. Bought a big sailboat and called it "Seasons in the sun."
 

Xelebes

Delerium ex Ennui
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 8, 2009
Messages
14,205
Reaction score
885
Location
Edmonton, Canada
I was going through the way back machine on Youtube, and I pulled up one of my high school favorites -- Celine Dion's Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore, and Dear God, it made me cringe. The lyrics and the music video. I am a HUGE Celine fan, but good God. Here's a rough English translation:

What part do you find objectionable?
 

Cernex

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
290
Reaction score
20
While the song is no longer in youtube and its a bit hard to find, if you track down "Don't need You" by a short lived hair metal band called "Burning Desire", I swear you'll regret it the SECOND you hit play. Singer who can't sing for poop, uninspired lyrics (if you can make out what they are before your ears start to bleed), an out-of-tune piano, and an insipid tune overall... it doesn't get any worse, and this is coming from someone who can listen to David "Can't reach a high note for poop" Donato singing every once in a while.
 

CindyGirl

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 24, 2016
Messages
495
Reaction score
39
Location
Pennsylvania
Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey (wow. All the way to The Midnight Special, even!)


I had forgotten all about Wildfire. I cringe to think my young teen self sang along to this with my friends.
 

draosz

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
341
Reaction score
32
Location
Croatia
The worst song I know of is the one I haven't written, but I wanted to. Compared to that, all the stuff you are ridiculing here are masterpieces.
 

Disa

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 31, 2008
Messages
517
Reaction score
102
Location
USA
Website
disawylde.wordpress.com
It's that song I heard by accident years ago while flipping through channels on TV. Shania Twain singing she went to get the mail and broke a nail. I despise country music and this just stuck in my head and will never leave.
 

Elizabeth George's book Write Away