What do quadruplets call the other?

[starrystorm]

So I'm writing a book about a group of quadruplets but I have a few questions.

If one dies, do they become triplets?

What do they call each other? Ex: I realized I couldn't find my quadruplets? Triplets? Or should I just use sisters?

If there's two of them and someone asks if they are related do they say "Yeah, we're quadruplets even if the rest aren't there?"

 

[ChaseJxyz]

1: I imagine no. The fact that they're multiples and they grew up together and had all those formative memories with each other wouldn't disappear because one of them dies.

2: Not sure. The generic term is "multiples." But if you say "sisters" I don't think anyone will be too upset by that. They could also make a special name for their collective-ness that would be reflective of their personalities and attitudes towards each other.

3: "Yeah, we're quadruplets!" or "We're sisters!" if they don't want the person to know that for some reason.

 

[owlion]

So I'm writing a book about a group of quadruplets but I have a few questions.

If one dies, do they become triplets?

What do they call each other? Ex: I realized I couldn't find my quadruplets? Triplets? Or should I just use sisters?

If there's two of them and someone asks if they are related do they say "Yeah, we're quadruplets even if the rest aren't there?"

I'm a twin, so not the same thing, but my feelings on it would be:

1. No, it's based on the number of children born.
2. Sisters/brothers would work fine - I don't refer to my twin as 'my twin' but as 'my sister'.
3. Depends on how they feel. Sometimes it gets annoying answering things like that because some people make a big deal out of it, so it's easier to say 'yes, we're sisters' instead.

 

[Autumn Leaves]

If one dies, do they become triplets?

In “Series of Unfortunate Events”, two triplets kept calling themselves triplets even when they lost the third sibling, and they and their friends were very hurt if anyone addressed them as twins. And when it comes to portraying relationships and family dynamics, especially of the good guys, Snicket is usually quite close to real life.

 

[Maryn]

I used to work with a triplet who was also an only child. Both his brothers had died, one in a childhood accident, the other a murder victim as an adult. He was still a triplet.

He didn't refer to the others as anything beyond brothers. Clearly he felt a special bond and their loss remained large well into his adult years, but the only term he used when he referred to either was "my brother." So if one of your quadruplets is alone and someone asks where the others are, he'd say, "Neil is grounded, Jared's out with his girlfriend, and Matt's working at Burger King." Or maybe, "All three of my brothers are busy." (Which could be awkward if there are also non-quadruplet brothers.)

Maryn, who hasn't thought of Isaac in a long time

 

[MaeZe]

Maryn, who hasn't thought of Isaac in a long time

 

[Maggie Maxwell]

I would imagine the situation might be different if, perhaps, one of the siblings died at birth, so the kids grew up believing themselves to be triplets until their parents felt ready to tell them about the fourth. Otherwise, the loss of one sibling doesn't change the fact that they were, once upon a time, quadruplets. Consider it if they were just regular siblings, or a parent who lost a child. They'd all still acknowledge the lost one as a sibling/child.

 

[starrystorm]

I'm a twin, so not the same thing, but my feelings on it would be:

1. No, it's based on the number of children born.
2. Sisters/brothers would work fine - I don't refer to my twin as 'my twin' but as 'my sister'.
3. Depends on how they feel. Sometimes it gets annoying answering things like that because some people make a big deal out of it, so it's easier to say 'yes, we're sisters' instead.

I'm a twin as well! My twin's The Second Moon.

In “Series of Unfortunate Events”, two triplets kept calling themselves triplets even when they lost the third sibling, and they and their friends were very hurt if anyone addressed them as twins. And when it comes to portraying relationships and family dynamics, especially of the good guys, Snicket is usually quite close to real life.

Ahh, I totally forgot about that. I love ASOUE.

I used to work with a triplet who was also an only child. Both his brothers had died, one in a childhood accident, the other a murder victim as an adult. He was still a triplet.

He didn't refer to the others as anything beyond brothers. Clearly he felt a special bond and their loss remained large well into his adult years, but the only term he used when he referred to either was "my brother." So if one of your quadruplets is alone and someone asks where the others are, he'd say, "Neil is grounded, Jared's out with his girlfriend, and Matt's working at Burger King." Or maybe, "All three of my brothers are busy." (Which could be awkward if there are also non-quadruplet brothers.)

Maryn, who hasn't thought of Isaac in a long time

So sorry.


Thanks for everyone who commented. This helps a lot!

 

[Cobalt Jade]

A niece and nephew of mine are twins, but a third child died in the womb. They are twins, not triplets. I don't know what they call themselves, but when their mom needs to refer to them together, they're the twins, not their names.

 

[starrystorm]

A niece and nephew of mine are twins, but a third child died in the womb. They are twins, not triplets. I don't know what they call themselves, but when their mom needs to refer to them together, they're the twins, not their names.

I understand that.

 

[llyralen]

It would very much depend on the individual family. It’s so rare to have quadruplets that there’s no role-model or set “way to do it”, and it would depend entirely on the story or narrative the parents and siblings come up with. I’m a mother of multiples, just twins, but still. Our friend and neighbor is part of a triplet and one of his sisters died. There is a lot of constant explaining for other people who want to know about multiples and you just keep explaining it through your life when people ask because there is really no short-cut.

Our neighbor still views himself as one of a triplet group and if you ask him about his siblings then there’s no easy way to tell the truth about it without saying “I’m a triplet, but one of my sisters died.” It would also depend on when the sibling died and if the family was trying to make the story easier (less painful) for the kids to tell. If a quad sibling was never born then I can imagine how it would be easiest to just say “We’re triplets,” but if the sibling was alive for many years, then it would be too sad and would probably feel like a lie for the teller to say “We are now triplets”. Even with kids when they know they had a sibling who died in the womb they might say so unless they’ve been led by their parents in how to answer these questions just because they are trying to tell the complete truth like most kids try to. Multiples questions are rarely easy and usually (even with my twins) you know nobody is really going to understand the circumstances unless they also have twins. I saw a show where a family of quads saved up and took a flight across the Atlantic to meet and spend time with another family of quads who were a bit older, just because you really have no one to ask for advice from. You really feel you are reinventing the wheel all the time.

When people ask us if my kids are identical, I could either launch into an explanation about how girl/boy twins can’t be identical or I can just say “No, they’re not” and honestly I tailor my answer on whether the person actually seems intelligent and interested. For instance, if a woman who is pregnant with twins wants to know, then I am going to explain it to her because she will need to know. Then I’m going to maybe tell her about other twin stuff.

My kids? It was interesting through the years to watch them come up with their story based on the ones we were telling them ans when I’ve watched shows about quads that seems to be what is happening too, they piece their explanations together based on what mom and dad assert is true about them.

That was the long answer because of your interest, I hope it helped.

 

[frimble3]

Some of it might depend on how their parents refer to them. If the parents make a point of individualizing them, always calling them by their names, different clothing, etc. they will probably also use individual names. If the parents are basking in the glory? of having quadruplets, referring to them by group names: 'the Quad Squad' and encouraging them to do things as a group, this, too will influence how they think of themselves, whether as a group, or, if one's interests don't mesh, as an individual.

 

[lonestarlibrarian]

At the school where I work, there are triplets. All the teachers call them "The Triplets"--- it's fast, easy, descriptive shorthand, and you can get on to whatever your actual point is that you're making. When they refer to an individual Triplet, however, it's by name. And the Triplets themselves refer to the others as "My brothers" or "Fred and Tom" (or whatever).

So it might be kind of an inside-looking-out vs outsider-looking-in thing. If you're outside the group, they're more likely to be perceived as a collection; if you're inside the group, there's an awareness of the family bond and the existence of the multiple-relationship, but the emphasis is more on the individual rather than the collective group. But in both cases, people take care when directly interacting with an individual to treat them as an individual.