The "T" Party.

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Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

Maryn

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My daughter, while active on Facebook, doesn't use Twitter. What a weirdo! (She has met Kuwi, for the record.)

So anyway, I saw my sort-of-friend having a bad evening last night and I was at a loss for how to inject the hashtag into any wish that things get better and to care for herself. It's not like we're buddies. She's just a trans person who lives in my area who's apparently working full time, going to school, and generally exhausted and alone. (Who wouldn't get down under those circumstances?)

How would any of my friends in this thread have phrased a referral to #girlslikeus?

Or how weird would it be if anyone here were to look for me on Twitter and figure out who she is, then just introduce themselves as a friend of a friend? That seems awkward, You don't know me but...

Maryn, unsure how to handle this
 

kuwisdelu

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Diana Hignutt

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I assume that most people aren't aware of the stuff going on in the trans community lately. Over the weekend, a sort of civil war broke out in our community with the group and hashtag #TSRainCrew appearing on Twitter. This group is comprised of transgender women who place dysphoria as an essential determining factor in regards to who should be called trans and who should be allowed medical transition. They oppose self-id, and the people they call "transtrenders" who they feel are basically gender tourists who are giving the trans community a bad name. In my opinion, this is a pivotal moment in our community. I believe in inclusion. I believe in self-determination. I believe these are essential to the health and very survival of the trans community, already beset by so much hate and The Times weekly TERF (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists) rants where writers use a huge media platform to say they are being silenced by trans activists. I thought you should know. I guess I want to implore you to be inclusive and to love each other in these trying times. I wish you peace.
 

lizmonster

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I caught a little of this. I'm sorry this kind of nonsense keeps happening.

So, I don't know if it helps at all, but...in The Kid's 8th grade class there are a number of out non-cis/non-het/non-binary kids. And for the most part, the school is strongly supportive of them - including the other children. In fact, when bullies decide to go down that road, the others rally and shout them down pretty damn quickly. The intolerant crap I grew up around is genuinely socially unacceptable at this school.

Things are changing. Humanity still has a long way to go before it deserves the name, but things are changing. What you're doing matters to these kids, and to everyone around them. You are changing the world.
 

Caitlin Black

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I'm fully out as a woman on AW now. If you can't guess what my username used to be, then all I have to say is Bwa ha ha. :tongue

I also have an appointment with a psych in 2 weeks, wherein I'm going to admit I'm trans to a medical professional for the first time ever. Met her yesterday, and I like her well enough. :)

Going to take hormones, but not have the surgery.
 

Kojiro

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Damn... this is a long thread.

Anyway, hurrah. Celebrate my not so epic return to the forum. Haven't been here since I was an egg many moons ago.
 

aspirit

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Welcome back, Caitlin and Kojiro.

Caitlin, I hope you're doing well.
 

A.P.M.

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So I ran into a weird thing and I don't know how to deal. I've always thought of myself as kind of...nothing. I am me more than I am any gender. I look and present female, though when I was young I desperately wanted to be male. I'm a woman in RL, and happily married and such, but every chance I get in online games or role-playing, like D&D, I play male. Role play is the last place I can live out that part of myself.

Anyway, the issue comes with LARP, where they are asking me my pronouns as part of a game intro. I hate this question, because I don't know. I have no problem with people seeing me and calling me she in RL, because I look like a girl and it's just easy to go along with it. I'm not dysphoric, I guess, although sometimes I get a minor twinge at hearing the she/her in some situation. But in a fantasy game, I WANT TO BE MALE. But in LARP, I can't. I look way too female. But I don't want to just say "call me she/her" because that locks me into my gender. But I don't want to say he/him because I would feel like an impostor, and again, locks me into a gender I haven't fully embraced. But they/them doesn't feel right either.

I hate that gender is such a big deal. I like the freedom of fantasy games to be whatever I want, but when I mix up RL and fantasy games, like in LARP, it makes the fantasy so limiting. I also hate the proliferation of voice chat in MMOs, because my fantasy gets ruined, and as soon as people hear my voice, the she/her pronouns show up when I want to hear the he/him. But correcting it would feel weird since it's a character, not ME, but that character exists because I don't want to be limited to one gender.

This was probably all random, but I'm wondering if I could just put "fluid" for pronouns? But I have no idea how that would be interpreted. I'd rather have other people assign me pronouns than pick one for myself, because I don't feel like enough of anything to say.
 

MadAlice

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So I ran into a weird thing and I don't know how to deal. I've always thought of myself as kind of...nothing. I am me more than I am any gender. I look and present female, though when I was young I desperately wanted to be male. I'm a woman in RL, and happily married and such, but every chance I get in online games or role-playing, like D&D, I play male. Role play is the last place I can live out that part of myself.

Anyway, the issue comes with LARP, where they are asking me my pronouns as part of a game intro. I hate this question, because I don't know. I have no problem with people seeing me and calling me she in RL, because I look like a girl and it's just easy to go along with it. I'm not dysphoric, I guess, although sometimes I get a minor twinge at hearing the she/her in some situation. But in a fantasy game, I WANT TO BE MALE. But in LARP, I can't. I look way too female. But I don't want to just say "call me she/her" because that locks me into my gender. But I don't want to say he/him because I would feel like an impostor, and again, locks me into a gender I haven't fully embraced. But they/them doesn't feel right either.

I hate that gender is such a big deal. I like the freedom of fantasy games to be whatever I want, but when I mix up RL and fantasy games, like in LARP, it makes the fantasy so limiting. I also hate the proliferation of voice chat in MMOs, because my fantasy gets ruined, and as soon as people hear my voice, the she/her pronouns show up when I want to hear the he/him. But correcting it would feel weird since it's a character, not ME, but that character exists because I don't want to be limited to one gender.

This was probably all random, but I'm wondering if I could just put "fluid" for pronouns? But I have no idea how that would be interpreted. I'd rather have other people assign me pronouns than pick one for myself, because I don't feel like enough of anything to say.

I hope I don't overstep anything here, because I'm not trans but I have just a tiny amount of experience with this so I'll add my 2 cents. If it's not useful, feel free to disregard.
I think for the most part people just want to make you comfortable. So if they're asking, they want to do what you feel best about, so I think it's perfectly fine to say exactly what you did about using "fluid" or anything else.

I like to play a variety of characters when gaming. With the whole covid-19 going on, all my games have gone online and, in my little group at least, I'm known to throw out a "My character's male" when someone says "I ask MadAlice's character if she blahs the blah blah." It pulls you out of the RP a little but helps down the road when they finally say "I ask Bill the cleric if he blahs the blah blah."
 

ChaseJxyz

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You can say "I have no preference, you can use whatever pronouns you'd like for me, but when we're in-character please refer to me as he/him." Since it's LARPing, people should understand that!

It's also okay to have different pronouns for different situations. I'm good with either he or they in general but I go by he/him in places where I don't want to have to explain/justify myself or I expect people to be hostile (or there's no other option on forms). Generally, if someone is asking you for your pronouns, then they'll be good and understanding for whatever it is you'll say.
 

frimble3

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You can say "I have no preference, you can use whatever pronouns you'd like for me, but when we're in-character please refer to me as he/him." Since it's LARPing, people should understand that!
FWIW, I think this sounds like an excellent solution.
 

Diana Hignutt

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Yesterday, we watched the queer, feminist vampire film, Bit. I was delighted by the best representation of a trans character I have ever seen. Period. I'm pretty sure that a lot of people could watch that film and not even figure out she was trans, the part was written so tastefully and subtly, and was well played by trans actress, Nicole Maines.
 

Diana Hignutt

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Hey, T gang! How are we doing? Thought I'd bump this thread, just in case anyone wanted to talk about anything. I'll try and monitor this spot.

Not much going on here. I'm pretty much stealth at my new, vastly better, job. At this point I have demonstrated my competency, nay mastery, of my position, and they are desperate for staff, so it would probably be ok. But, a lot of the management and other staff are avid Fox viewers/NY Post readers, so I'll probably just keep stuff on the DL, until someone finally clocks me.

Hair's getting a little thinner up top as I rapidly approach 57, and that causes me no end of stress. Could be genetics. Could be the stress of all the loss I've endured over the last few years (loss of: my sister and my ex-wife to suicide, my father to complications of dementia, my respect for humanity, democracy, I guess, hope for the future of the planet....). Could be hormones, got to the doctor (just last week), who doubled my patches, and did some blood tests. Honestly, it is largely imperceptible to anyone but me, but...you know.

The year is slipping into winter mode here in Albany. The days are getting shorter, so it is more important to remember my D3 supplements.

Otherwise, I' slowing working with an old friend and bandmate from back in the day, on mastering my first ever solo album. Mostly instrumentals, but there are two songs with vocals, one of which,Trans Girl Blues, I am super proud of (not necessarily the vocal which are tolerable, but everything else). Not writing too much literary output at the moment, but hopefully that will change.

So, what's up with you? Anything? Take care. Talk to you soon.
 
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ChaseJxyz

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I totally forgot about this thread lol! There have def been a lot of updates since July 2020.
  • 2.5 years on T woo!
  • Got top surgery in February, everything went really well. In the process of dealing with insurance for a hysto in November
  • Got a bike, started rock climbing, and got more piercings so I'm in a pretty good place with my body đź‘Ť
  • My two newest projects are Really Trans, they both have 2 trans main characters. One is an interactive novel thing, which would need programming, and 2 of the 3 people I'd want to help with that are also trans (the other is engaged to a trans woman). In that one, the characters being trans really isn't plot-critical or anything, but in the other project, it's their motivation for [plot stuff]. Now I'm wondering why I ever had stories that starred cis people
 

ConnorMuldowney

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Getting better every day. I used to be so bad at nail polish, my nails would look so jagged people would ask if I did that intentionally to look "edgy."

I can tell I'm improving on nail polish because I had an eye surgery a week ago, and still was able to get that nice, smooth, glossy look yesterday. The only problem is I didn't have time to do the other hand, because I abruptly had to run out the door. I had one really good hand. The other hand had a single nail painted.

Baby steps are still steps.
 

Diana Hignutt

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Got my blood test results ... and ... yeah, my levels are very low, so the extra patch should do the trick.
 
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Happy Thanksgiving

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