The Cantina Staring Back At You From The Abyss

MaeZe

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I'm having a better day today.

After getting a mean letter from the IRS my lawyer let me know I should ignore it, they don't know what they are talking about. She went on to list the three things currently in the works on my case.

Then I got a weird email saying Am Express had lowered my credit limit. I always maintain a zero balance, I don't have any other outstanding credit card debt except a balance that is interest free for a year and my credit score is really high: 799 according to the bank and ~780 according to Discover Card.

All sorts of bad thoughts went through my head from something they knew I didn't know yet to someone charging something to my card to a scam email. After waiting for much too long to get through to someone (sign of the everyone's out sick times) to ask it turned out to be a 'computer glitch' affecting a small number of people and I should ignore the email.

My bruises after popping up all over are beginning to fade.

And my son told me not to get up on the ladder, he would come out to do whatever I needed. He was worried about me, so sweet.

I'm not broke yet and my elderly dog is hanging in there.

Now if I could just get to that beta read I've not finished, back to my query letter, and if the days would get longer quicker, everything would be bliss. :Thumbs:
 
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Brightdreamer

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Hooray for fading bruises and ignorable letters!

Tuesday evening, slowly winding down the day, but not done with it yet. Sibling hasn't poked her head up for dinner yet, so I'm hopeful she's actually getting some decent sleep before tonight's graveyard shift. It's really taking a physical toll on her, but the only way to get back in working shape is to push through it. (And we're still hopeful she'll be off graveyard eventually, here. Still, beggars and choosers... the fact that she landed a job at all is basically a miracle, after being out of work for close to two decades...)

Otherwise, the only thrilling event has been renewing my AAA membership. Added Mom as a secondary member (sibling is already one), which will be cheaper than her maintaining a full membership with Dad (who hasn't driven in many years anyway; not entirely sure Mom will drive again, TBH, given how she has not managed to get the gumption to fix her car for well over a year, but it's a little extra assurance for her if she does. Plus it has discounts.)

And I have to remember to make up a sandwich or something for lunch tomorrow. Long work day is longer without lunch.
 

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Yay for not having to worry about weird emails and for having considerate sons!

They're talking about more winter weather for us near the weekend. Maybe a lot. :Headbang: Well, we've at least made some progress on the preparedness front by finally getting one of those power banks you can use to store power and charge your cell phone when you don't have any other way to plug it in. I got one that will hold enough to charge both mom's and mine and probably dad's too, though his is a "dumb phone" (flip phone, but he calls it a dumb phone) and holds battery a lot longer than our smart phones, so that's probably not going to be an issue with his.

We *almost* got this small, electric generator that you can charge up via plugging it in and then it can power some small devices, like say a small heater to keep the bedroom warm for a number of hours, but dad had a flip out that it would somehow fry our home circuits because he doesn't really understand how it works, but can't hear any other explanation because why be rational when you can flip out over something you haven't even looked at instead? I swear, this determination to be anxious about everything is genetic on his side of the family. So, no small generator to power a small heater for us. Er, at least, in theory. Mom and I actually put in the order before dad had his anxiety attack about it and now we can't cancel it, so it'll probably have to get here and we'll have to return it unless we can convince dad between now and then that there's literally no reason that charging what is essentially a big battery MADE to be charged off of your home electricity is going to fry our wiring.
 

Brightdreamer

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Hooray for power banks! (Those things really helped me during a long power outage once... I even have one in my car that can theoretically also jump the battery. Need to make sure that thing's topped off...)

Boo for relative anxiety!

Speaking of relatives and anxiety, sibling is having serious foot and leg Issues from work, to the point where I just had to do a quick store run for some Biofreeze (and a couple other things I thought might help). She's going to have to start doing some simple stretches and exercises on her day off, dang it, to help her build up her strength and resilience after so long doing basically nothing...

And if she's in too much pain tonight, maybe she should call out.

But, not my job. Literally, not my job.

Being the sibling, of course, she is not handling pain well at all. Not as bad as some of her worst meltdowns, but still not handling it well, and is starting a bit of that spiral thing where she'll be stuck here on graveyard in pain for the rest of her life and nothing will ever help or get better...

Mergh...
 

Alan Yee

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For anyone who is interested, Clarion West (https://www.clarionwest.org/) is currently open for applications until February 10. I’ve given up all hope of ever going. Whenever I had the time (because I wasn’t working), I couldn’t afford it. When I could afford it, I had a job I couldn’t miss for six weeks, and now I have an infant to help raise. It’s unfortunate since I’m local-ish.
 
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MaeZe

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If your sib will go for it, BD, try Superfeet.


They are a bit pricey and they don't look like much but they provide almost instant relief for sore feet and calves.

They are amazing. None of the shoe inserts come close and I tried them all before my doctor said to get Superfeet.
 
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Brightdreamer

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Will pass along the recommendation. (She has used orthotics in the past, but feet change and the ones she had don't cut it anymore.) Thanks!

Windin' down the day still. Probably should crawl into bed soon and feign sleep. Early start is never fun, but I have some audiobooks on deck to pass the time, so there's that.

--

Wednesday morning, and brain did a poor job of feigning sleep last night, so the slumber tank's only half-full going into a long day.

And I have to either leave early to top the tank or do that on the way home.

At least I shouldn't have to shop my way home, pending relatives.

Mergh...
 
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E.F.B.

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I have officially gotten my booster shot. Probably annoyed CVS as many times as I had to reschedule due to weather, but FINALLY managed to get there today. Feeling okay so far. A little cold, but it might just be cold in here. (Asked mom, she thinks it's cold too.)

My chosen CVS lets you walk around the store if you want while you're waiting 15 minutes to make sure there aren't side effects, which may be a tad sneaky because then you wander past the sparkly accessories isle and suddenly there are two packs of pretty hair clips in your hand and then 15 minutes are over and you feel fine and you buy the pretty hair clips before you leave. Not that I did that... :p (They're very pretty clips, tho.)
 

MaeZe

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Yay for pretty hair clips. Yay for boosters finally gotten.

Must. refrain. from. calling. Am Express. again.....

I'll just use my other cards until they get the problem fixed.

I like this company for two reasons. One, they gave me an emergency loan when I was in Peru and I'll be forever grateful. And yes, I am repeating myself.

And two, they credit my account with the dividends I earn using the card. No hassle with redeeming points, no hassle designating which purchases I want extra points on.

But I spent ~$200 just now and got home to an email saying future purchases might be declined as I was close to my credit limit.

No, I'm not. I'm not even close to the new decreased limit they emailed me about in mistake. So apparently my credit limit of ~$18K became ~$1700 or something and instead of fixing it like they said they would, they now have lowered it further or something?

Good thing I don't give a shit and I have a half dozen or so other cards.

Maybe I should consider lowering my limits on all my cards to prevent anyone from stealing access and racking up too much in purchases. Thieves could try to use the card and I'd get an email saying card declined.

Credit card companies should offer that kind of option to customers: prior approval needed for charges over X amount. The scammers are getting wise however, how to steal your phone number, and in doing so they can use two-source verification and not just access your accounts (plural) but change all the passwords and lock you out.

I should probably post about this scam in a more widely read sub-forum.
 
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Brightdreamer

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Hooray for booster shots and shiny things!

Boo for credit card Issues and wisening thieves!

Wednesday evening, and winding down the day.

Work existed. All three audiobooks were DNFs (one I think I might've focused on better in print, the other two just were bouncin' off my brain, so maybe I just wasn't in the mood), so I listened to my music instead. And, lest I leave you in suspense, I did remember to top the gas tank on the way home.

Still need to make a sandwich for lunch tomorrow, though part of me's tempted to just grab a snack cup of trail mix and call it good.

And I need to track down some danged audiobooks on Overdrive to try tomorrow, dang it... either that, or I need to download some instrumental music on the phone to help me generate ideas, because this danged Sisyphus is fighting me tooth and nail.

Sibling at least is doing a little better after some sleep (and foot soaking, and trying some of the crud I drove out after dinner to grab yesterday). She's looking at those insoles and deciding which one might work, last I heard.

Mergh... need to keep an eye on the time. Got a foot bath to dump in a few minutes. (We're trying to soak Dad's feet every evening to stave off future infections. And with the sibling also needing foot soakings, our little foot tub is getting quite the workout... as are those of us who fill and dump foot tubs.)
 

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*flops on a smibble pile* Uuuuugh. Got some body aches from the booster, which I expected since I got that from the second dose of the original vax, too. Aleve is knocking it out, though, and getting breakfast in my stomach is helping me feel better overall. I'm mainly just kinda tired, probably because I was sleeping really good until 6:30 when da beagle decided he was awake and needed to lay on the foot of my bed, coughing his chronic cough. Honestly, it's like he knows when we've got to get up and get going earlier than usual (mom's got a dental filling this morning) and will always choose those days to wake me up a half hour early. Shot site is sore, but thus far I don't have the half-a-tennis-ball sized lump like last time.

ION: Mom got called by the health department to ask about recent tests. Dad verified that this was legit, because of course we're like whaaaaat since the doctor didn't say anything and the only tests mom's had recently are her stool tests. It was legit, and apparently, mom's stool tests showed that she did NOT have C-diff, but did have small growth of something (I think it's bacterial) I can't pronounce much less spell. Since the powerful probiotics she took knocked it out, she needs no further treatment, (yay probiotics!) but apparently it's something that can come from underprepared chicken, raw eggs, or dirt. Well, we don't eat uncooked eggs, aren't aware of having undercooked any chicken, plus dad and I eat the same chicken as mom when she cooks it and we didn't have any problems. Also, mom's not gardening in the winter, so the source isn't obvious.

I guess it's possible she didn't cook some chicken quite enough and because her gut was imbalanced from past antibiotics she got sick and dad and I didn't. It's also possible that da dogs brought in some dirt and she failed to wash her hands well enough before eating something and that's what caused it (da lab mix likes to hold paws and obviously, her paws have dirt on them.) Anyway, the health department lady said that since the source isn't obvious, they'll be keeping and eye out for anyone else with similar test results and if there are and those people say they shop at the same stores as us, we'll get another call to try to narrow it down. Otherwise, we won't hear from them again. We're just glad to have some explanation for the issue. Moving forward, we'll be EXTRA sure to wash our hands thoroughly after holding paws with da lab mix, and make EXTRA sure all chicken gets fully cooked.
 

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Talk of powerbanks reminds me I need to buy a new solar powerbank for my mom. Hers fell and cracked the base because dad had been using is so much for repairs in dark spaces. (It's not your common powerbank, it is a combination of a powerbank, a flashlight and a solar panel and it's one of the best inventions of the last 5 years in my book.)

I am so glad the rain finally halted! Because hauling buckets of water from under the leaky garage roof is such a bother. Even with the rainbarrel we put under there. Will have to wait until the temperature rises to finally fix the roof at last but I'm going to bother dad about it as soon as it warms up because it's not him dragging the buckets out and it is his garage and his car in the end. So so so tired of leaks.

Good this wintry sun feels so good.

Did some sales shopping this week. Made a 2000 piece puzzle. Ordered the storage room again so you can once again pass with a basket of laundry without having to contort your back. Dropped off some boxes at the circular shop. Re-arranged the library furniture with mom after getting the shelves sorted last week.

Still feel like I did nothing worthwhile because I haven't practised driving since christmas. I really am my own worst enemy on this.
 

Brightdreamer

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Boo for undercooked dirt and garage buckets!

Thursday morning, slept iffily again with annoying frustration dreams. And I'm trying to load new audiobook titles on the phone and the Overdrive app is giving me grief. And I've got 11 days to come up with something, anything, worth writing down for Sisyphus and the brain is an echoing hole.

Mergh... I know it's a pile of minor irritations, but... mergh...

*kicks irritations*

*toe gets irritated*


Dang it...
 

MaeZe

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*flops on a smibble pile* Uuuuugh. Got some body aches from the booster, which I expected since I got that from the second dose of the original vax, too. Aleve is knocking it out, though, and getting breakfast in my stomach is helping me feel better overall. I'm mainly just kinda tired, probably because I was sleeping really good until 6:30 when da beagle decided he was awake and needed to lay on the foot of my bed, coughing his chronic cough. Honestly, it's like he knows when we've got to get up and get going earlier than usual (mom's got a dental filling this morning) and will always choose those days to wake me up a half hour early. Shot site is sore, but thus far I don't have the half-a-tennis-ball sized lump like last time.

ION: Mom got called by the health department to ask about recent tests. Dad verified that this was legit, because of course we're like whaaaaat since the doctor didn't say anything and the only tests mom's had recently are her stool tests. It was legit, and apparently, mom's stool tests showed that she did NOT have C-diff, but did have small growth of something (I think it's bacterial) I can't pronounce much less spell. Since the powerful probiotics she took knocked it out, she needs no further treatment, (yay probiotics!) but apparently it's something that can come from underprepared chicken, raw eggs, or dirt. Well, we don't eat uncooked eggs, aren't aware of having undercooked any chicken, plus dad and I eat the same chicken as mom when she cooks it and we didn't have any problems. Also, mom's not gardening in the winter, so the source isn't obvious.

I guess it's possible she didn't cook some chicken quite enough and because her gut was imbalanced from past antibiotics she got sick and dad and I didn't. It's also possible that da dogs brought in some dirt and she failed to wash her hands well enough before eating something and that's what caused it (da lab mix likes to hold paws and obviously, her paws have dirt on them.) Anyway, the health department lady said that since the source isn't obvious, they'll be keeping and eye out for anyone else with similar test results and if there are and those people say they shop at the same stores as us, we'll get another call to try to narrow it down. Otherwise, we won't hear from them again. We're just glad to have some explanation for the issue. Moving forward, we'll be EXTRA sure to wash our hands thoroughly after holding paws with da lab mix, and make EXTRA sure all chicken gets fully cooked.
Salmonella? Does your mom do the cooking? She could have been exposed to the raw chicken no one else was.

It's not likely to have come from dirty paws. There are pets that do carry it like frogs, lizards and turtles.


And it can be in dog food.


Which is why letting those toddlers eat out of the dog food dish is not a good idea.
 

MaeZe

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Venting follows, feel free to skip it.

I'm trying to cut back on the prednisone. It irks me sometimes when the rheumatologist acts like I can just wean off of it with no replacement. It's not like I didn't have an obviously severe manifestation of disease. The biopsy was positive, my mouth inflammation was obvious.

My blood tests were positive but only moderately so and no specific markers were there. So the diagnosis was undifferentiated connective tissue disease.

Well now the antibodies have increased and look more like mixed connective tissue disease. This is good because it's so much better than Lupis and it is progressing slowly.

But without seeing those new labs the doctor said the prednisone side effects are serious. They are, I know that. But it's not like someone with rheumatoid arthritis who can take more pain meds (or suffer).

I've cut the dose back to 12.5 from 15. Now my tongue is swelling. I've injured it so it hurts because it's hard not to bite a swollen tongue. Plus with a dry mouth and swollen tongue I sound like a drug addict when I talk.

There are no alternative drugs at the moment. I'm allergic to two of them and my liver didn't like the third.

Sigh.... I can't just stop the prednisone. The attitude that I somehow can is not helpful. I'm not even tolerating decreasing the dose. She didn't like it when I titrated the dose up until I had symptom control. I'm sorry but I didn't think I needed to come see her every time I inched that dose up.

I'll stick it out a bit longer but a swollen tongue and inflamed mouth is not tolerable. It just isn't.
 

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Hello all! It's been a long time. Glad to see lots of familiar faces made it back after the shutdown.

I am less than thrilled with post-Christmas work and have an overwhelming urge to hibernate. I really think that you should be allowed to sleep till mid-February. Anyway, just one more day this week and I'm going to read a trashy novel while sitting in a hot bath so long I may just dissolve.

The best Christmas present was I finally edited my novel to completion, or at least to the point where I started making it worse. Looking forward to booting it out the door! (Much more fun than the point that the rejections start rolling in.)

The almost-best Christmas present was we got an aquarium, and now we have some pretty fish and shrimp to watch when we're in the kitchen. The first took under a week to learn that the Giant Foodface gave the food, and now if a human face appears close to the feeding end of the tank they go nuts.
 
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feyngirl

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Venting follows, feel free to skip it.
Wish there was a sympathy tag, didn't want to like this as it seemed kind of the wrong reaction. Just wanted to say I really sympathise. It's so horrible to have a disease they can't pin down and get properly treated (or when they think the treatment comes with such downsides they don't want to prescribe it). I have a colleague with bad arthritis and it's awful seeing what a huge impact it's had on him, even with treatment.
 
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Brightdreamer

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Boo for medication and poorly understood disease paths!

Hooray for edited novels!

(As for fish tanks... we had some for several years. Fun to look at, but upkeep was absolutely a mess... and the longest-lived fish out of all of them was still one of the cheapie feeder goldfish a well-meaning but basically clueless uncle got us for Xmas that kicked off the whole aquarium thing to begin with.)

Anyway, 'tis Thursday afternoon.

Work existed, and will exist tomorrow, and we may end up with long hours next week, too, because numbers aren't going down as fast as might be hoped. (As we move more items out, the library branches end up sending more of their backlog in... such is January. And a big chunk of February.)

Right now, the weather's being very weird, like something's blowing in. Dark, dark clouds down the valley, with a single gleaming white puff in the middle that I wish I could've gotten a picture of because it looked so wrong.

Sibling got called in to an extra shift because three people called out. She's a bit miffed because her feet and legs are still recovering. (On the plus side, at least she's showing she'll show up and work...)

And I already got dinner, chicken strips from the deli. If I'm ambitious I'll make sides to go with. I do not anticipate being ambitious.
 
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E.F.B.

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Salmonella? Does your mom do the cooking? She could have been exposed to the raw chicken no one else was.
Definitely not salmonella. I know how to spell and pronounce that. :p This was a longer word that sounded like it started with a c (but wasn't c-diff) and I hadn't even heard of it before. I'd have to see it written down to know what it was, but didn't, and google is not helping because all it wants to tell me about is salmonella.

Anyway, still thinking of raw chicken, she does do the majority of the cooking. Though I often help, I tend to wear rubber gloves when I handle raw chicken because I don't like the way it feels. Tbh, while mom always washes her hands after touching raw chicken, I've sometime felt she doesn't scrub as much as I personally do if I handle it with bare hands. Might mention that to her.

Hello all! It's been a long time. Glad to see lots of familiar faces made it back after the shutdown.

I am less than thrilled with post-Christmas work and have an overwhelming urge to hibernate. I really think that you should be allowed to sleep till mid-February. Anyway, just one more day this week and I'm going to read a trashy novel while sitting in a hot bath so long I may just dissolve.

The best Christmas present was I finally edited my novel to completion, or at least to the point where I started making it worse. Looking forward to booting it out the door! (Much more fun than the point that the rejections start rolling in.)

The almost-best Christmas present was we got an aquarium, and now we have some pretty fish and shrimp to watch when we're in the kitchen. The first took under a week to learn that the Giant Foodface gave the food, and now if a human face appears close to the feeding end of the tank they go nuts.
Feyngirl! Good to see you again. :) Congrats on finishing editing, and the new aquarium! We had an aquarium when I was a kid and it was a lot of fun. I wouldn't mind having one again in the future.


I spent the majority of yesterday with body aches from my booster shot, but like any vaccine that gives me such symptoms, I hit a certain point in the evening where, very suddenly, I felt better. After a good night's sleep, all aches are gone. Now I just wait for the arm soreness and a couple swollen lymph nodes to go away (the exact same symptoms I got with my second vaccine shot). Given that I heard a fellow patient who was older than me say her arm got so sore that she couldn't lift it for a day and a half, mine is pretty mild and more than tolerable.

Yesterday, I let myself do whatever I felt like doing, which happened to be rewriting my first chapter of In Dreams They Came to get in my character's head better, and I think I succeeded. Today, I better get back to that beta read so I don't get behind.
 
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Definitely not salmonella. I know how to spell and pronounce that. :p This was a longer word that sounded like it started with a c (but wasn't c-diff) and I hadn't even heard of it before. I'd have to see it written down to know what it was, but didn't, and google is not helping because all it wants to tell me about is salmonella.
Campylobacter bacteria
 
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Hooray for rewritten chapters and long names!

Boo for chicken contamination!

Friday afternoon, segueing into evening, and about to place a pizza order for a celebratory dinner.

You know that miracle job the sibling was handed, the 30-60 day "paid volunteer"/"we're frellin' desperate for bodies" thing?

You know how it hasn't been 30 days since she started? (It was December 28, while we were killing time for my car to get new tires, when the guy talked to her in the store and offered the gig. Today is only the 21st of January, and she technically didn't show up for work until just after the new year started.)

Well, apparently they've seen enough to know they want her as an actual employee, after she showed up when nobody else seemed to want to yesterday afternoon. So she appears, knock on plywood and particle board and keyboard and any other knockable surface, to officially be employed, not just probationary or temporary employed.

Hope that means she'll get off graveyard soon... and get some actual training, though she is figuring it out despite the lack of help from her so-called night manager.

In any event, that means pizza night. Which means I don't have to make dinner tonight, which is always a win.

Should probably start getting that order together...

--

Later the same Friday. Pizza ordered, obtained, and consumed, dishes dealt with. Now I have a book review to write up, some spitballing to do (hopefully with a side of Sisyphus brainstorming - come on, you useless brain, gimme somethin' I can work with, here!), and probably reading until sleep occurs.
 
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Well, she's already grumbling that the paycheck is too small (I think she got in on one of those off-times where her first paycheck is only for a few days; min, at least, has a delay between hours worked and hours paid), she'll never have time for any hobbies, she'll be trapped, etc. But overall, yeah, for now her luck seems to be moving in a different direction than before, and even if she doesn't see it she's climbing a little higher out of the hole. (At the very least, she seems to have stopped digging said hole.)

Part of me keeps waiting for the backswing of the pendulum, but for now, it's a nice change of pace.

It'll be really nice if she starts contributing a little more to the household, but baby steps...

Anyway, 'tis a foggy Saturday morning. (Either it's foggy, or the house fell into another one of those nebulous misty dimensions again.) Need to do the weekly tidying, then get on with my day.

--

And it's Saturday afternoon. Fog burned off, and I see sunshine out there with some clouds.

Got the morning tidying done, ate lunch, managed some quick exercise (with reading; foot pedaling is good for that), dealt with some site stuff, and started a load of laundry. And just when I thought I'd reached my fill of excitement for the day, I need to decide what to start for dinner! How do I survive this nonstop adrenaline rush thrill ride that is my life?

--

Saturday evening. Dinner existed. (Country fried chicken from the freezer, for the curious.) Dishes existed. Transcription probably won't exist if I don't find a doable job in the next ten minutes.

Head's trying to crackle today, dang it. Dad had a plugged ear for much of the morning and has been more sniffly than usual. Great... last thing we need is for him to miss his INR recheck Tuesday morning for a lousy cold...
 
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Friendly Frog

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Ah well, a lifetime of discontent is a hard hobby to yeet in a month. :roll:Baby steps indeed.