'THE "I NEED A NONFICTION ARTICLE CRIT" THREAD (Have an article in SYW? Tell us here.

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Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

Cindyh2k

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Hi guys,

I posted the opening of my new WIP - could you guys give me an honest opinion on it?

Woman Up

Thanks!

Cindy
 

CatMuse33

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Friday night, I had an awful experience with a doctor in the midwifery practice I go to. I'm writing a letter of complaint... we're not ready to take action against her, but want to alert her supervisors of the situation and our feelings.

As a writer, I'm worried about libel suits or presenting accusations or assumptions about her, ahem, incompetence. So, even though it's unconventional, I posted the letter in SYW because I trust you guys!

Is the letter: factual without editorializing, recounting events as they happened? Clear and concise? Still passionate enough to evoke emotion in the reader? and, of course, logically organized?

I can assure you it is ALL true. I only wish I had my tape recorder going, as I know it's legal in NYS to tape conversations as long as ONE of the parties knows it's being taped. (Protection against hidden room taps, but you can tape conversations that you're taking part in.)

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2795454#post2795454

I would really love feedback! Thanks!

Dawn
 

Ulee_Lhea

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Hello! This thread is looking kind of quiet, but if there's anyone still around, I'd love some help with a query letter (posted here).

Thanks in advance!
 

triceretops

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This is a comment by an editor at DS. Can you explain to me how this should be re-written? I'll list it here, since it's so short. I'll try my own version below to see it becomes more clear.

-Watch out for subject-pronoun agreement (Habits of good auto mechanics demonstrate and reflect competence in himself, his employer and the company brand name for which he works.)

My rewrite: "Habits of good auto mechanics demonstrate self-confidence, and reflect well upon his employer and company brand name."

Better?

Tri
 

triceretops

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On second thought, to agree pronouns, I'll try it this way:

"Habits of good auto mechanics demonstrate and reflect competence in themselves, their employer and the company brand name for which they work."

I think that's what's meant. But isn't that kind of an awkward sentence? I still like my other rewritten example in the previous post. Or is this okay? Comments?


-Watch out for subject-pronoun agreement (Habits of good auto mechanics demonstrate and reflect competence in himself, his employer and the company brand name for which he works.)
 

SWest

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On second thought, to agree pronouns, I'll try it this way:

"Habits of good auto mechanics demonstrate and reflect competence in themselves, their employer and the company brand name for which they work."

I think that's what's meant. But isn't that kind of an awkward sentence? I still like my other rewritten example in the previous post. Or is this okay? Comments?


-Watch out for subject-pronoun agreement (Habits of good auto mechanics demonstrate and reflect competence in himself, his employer and the company brand name for which he works.)

You need to choose one of these:

All Singular

"Habits of a good auto mechanic demonstrate and reflect competence in himself, his employer and the company brand name for which he works."

OR

All Plural

"Habits of good auto mechanics demonstrate and reflect competence in themselves, their employers and the company brand names for which they work."
 

AngelicaRJackson

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I've been heavily into writing fiction in the last few years and feel like I'm off my stride for nonfiction. I usually take my articles to my crit group, but for this one I needed someone who doesn't know anything about me. Could I get some feedback on it? Thanks!

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=186592
 

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