*Theme from
The Sting plays in background*
Firstly, I'd like to apologise to the wonderful Sylvia Townsend Warner (1893-1978) for playing fast and loose with the opening pages of her novel
The Corner That Held Them. If you're not familiar with Warner's quirky and magical work I suggest that you remedy this deficiency at once.
Back to Big Sky's submission requirements:
Submit the first— FIVE (5) pages of Chapter One (MSWord Doc) and attach to your email.
Arial or Times Roman Font 12 pt and double-spaced for readability.
Please include with your email—
Query Letter (In email body). Please include your bio in the query letter.
Publishing Proposal
Email Subject line: Query, Proposal, (Author Name), Book Title, Genre, Word Count.
FYI: If subject line isn't done as shown above, Your query could go to our spam folder and be deleted unread.
I thought publishing proposals related to non-fiction, which Big Sky doesn't accept. Why would anyone need to provide a publishing proposal for fiction along with the first five pages of their book? I was already confused, but not confused enough to take Big Sky's advice:
Note:If you do not know how to write a Query Letter, Proposal, or need other editing, formating. We urge you to contact Professional Editor-Author Juls Duncan.
Yes, I thought you might. Anyway, I followed the above instructions to the letter and sent off the first five pages of
The Corner That Held Them, cunningly disguised as
Wise and Foolish Virgins by Julia Greenwood. Bear in mind that this novel was republished by Hachette with an introduction by Philip Hensher as recently as 2012 and I didn't alter a word of the text.
Julie Hartwick of Big Sky replied within hours. Remember, she's passing judgement on the work of one of the finest English writers of the 20th century:
Thank you for the submission.
I read through your pages and love your story idea. But your manuscript is not ready for a publisher or agent. Its in need of a lot editing and formatting (see attached — first page edit. I did some formatting and added your Contact and Title pages.) Your blurb and proposal are missing from the submission.
A proposal isn't relevant and you didn't ask for a blurb.
However, we will not hold this against you.
That's very decent of you, but by some mysterious sixth sense I know what's coming next:
We do not like to send any author a rejection letter, so I am going to offer you some advice. But first a little information...
There are rule that we as a publisher must follow...
The start of any story is the hardest to get right. The first paragraph, then the first page and then the first chapter are the most important of the manuscript—and the hardest to write. Here you have to introduce your protagonist(s) first and last name (if they have one). And must be written in the protagonist's POV (point of view) which will help you set the scene, voice, flow, and add depth to your character. Also in this very important first paragraph start some kind of conflict, it will help engage your reader. This will also bring your character(s) forward and off the page. This is showing as opposed to telling the story. Miss even one of them and you will not engage a reader, publisher or agent to continue reading.
Yes, it's exactly the same advice offered by Juls Duncan in the file she accidentally uploaded to Kindle. Duncan's editing website was registered by a Julie Johnson - make of that what you will.
Additional Information to be aware of—
1st person narratives:
We have tried 1st person narratives in the past, but found them to be unsuccessful; unless you're a well known author. At this time the online market is flooded with self-published books, and most of these are written in 1st person. Readers are backing away from these narratives because of poor editing.
I too back away from poor editing, which is why Big Sky's website is torture to read.
Starting your story in dialogue causes a problem, it doesn't allow you to set this very important first scene, voice or flow. Also, the use of backstory on the first page or first chapter is never a good idea for it halts the voice, story flow and forward motion from the get go. There is away around this; write it as a short prologue.
The chapter I sent you didn't open with dialogue. Not that it matters because you obviously send the same response to every query.
The issues I found in your pages have me concerned with the amount of editing your manuscript's going to need.
Oh, Sylvia, Sylvia! I expected better of you!
All reputable publishers demand that the author have their manuscript be 90% ready for publishing. In other words, unless you have sent your manuscript off to a prestigious Professional Editor—who knows the difference between showing and telling (writing in the protagonist's POV) then you don't stand much of a chance of being published by a traditional publisher.
Something tells me that Julie Hartwick has never been within sniffing distance of a reputable publisher.
This is why I am going to recommend that you have your manuscript professionally edited. I know there are some exceptional professional editors, and some appalling ones, online. We have gotten some of their work and had to advise the author to seek another editor.
I laughed out loud at this, because Juls Duncan's books are edited by another editor.
Please be aware that there's a lot of work to editing and a skilled editor will charge you for this service. Therefore, I urge you contact Juls Duncan. We know her work.
I suspect that it's the money from her editing, rather than book sales, that’s keeping Big Sky in business. Had my submission been genuine she would have stood to earn $695.
She is reasonably priced. Can provide references from the authors she's worked with. She's the author of four published novels with the fifth and sixth books soon to be released. But more important, she edits a different way than most, she teaches her authors how to write in the protagonist's POV. How to fix wordy, awkward, and combined POV and dialogue, and she's very skilled with blurbs, proposals and query letters.
Another laugh-out-loud moment, as Duncan's own work reads like the worst kind of self/vanity pubbed writing. She doesn’t even know how to punctuate dialogue (sorry, but in this case I see no need to respect my fellow writer).
We, and other publishers, have advised many authors to seek her out. Some we have published and some not—for reasons that had nothing to do with their manuscripts.
My imagination is running riot. "We can't publish your book because you're a homophile"?
Anyway, let’s take a look at what Hardwick thought of Sylvia Townsend Warner’s work. I’ve cut her opening comments because we already know them by heart.
Alianor de Retteville lay on her bed and looked at Giles, who was her lover. She did not speak. (Telling, vague, no voice or flow, no conflict to keep the reader engaged. Need to set your scene, voice and flow, and start some kind of conflict. Write it in the protagonist's POV.)
She had nothing to say. He did not speak either. They were not alone, for in a corner of the room an old woman sat spinning, but she was no more than the bump and purr of her wheel. (Telling, no voice or flow. Need to add to the scene, writing it in both their POVs.)
The rest of the pages are about the same as your first two paragraphs.
Did you even read them? And that's not a "first page edit", it's a 58-word edit.
You have a great story here, but it needs a lot of editing and some formatting.
I hope to see this story again.
Julie Hartwick
You can find it here, Julie:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007704WD2/?tag=absowrit-20
