Do not be longwinded. Draft your query as if the reader has Attention Deficit Disorder. Keep your letter short and make your point quickly. The reader should fully comprehend your pitch with just a glance of the page. If the reader has to fight through countless words and paragraphs, you may lose him. Three paragraphs are enough. More than one page is too much.
Avoid silly, self-effacing, or obsequious letters. Be professional. Often, authors of comedy scripts try to pen funny letters. In some cases, it is effective. However, if the letter does not garner a chuckle, this can kill the script. Allow the pitch itself to earn the laugh. Sadly, goofy letters are often passed around the mailroom for a late afternoon chuckle before landing in the recycling bin. Or even worse, they are commemorated on the “wall of shame.”
Keep all information in the query letter pertinent. Avoid superfluity. For instance, a writer will tell an agent that she is a “grandmother of 12,” or another will say, “I have an accounting degree.” Only include what is absolutely necessary. Agents do not care if a scribe has an MBA from MichiganState. However, it makes sense to say, “I have a BA in film from….” If the writer and agent share the same alma mater, it could be helpful to drop the name of the school without being obvious. (The agent will connect the dots.)
When drafting the query include the genre, script’s title, the logline (and possibly a hybrid description like: THE INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS meets OUTBREAK) and a brief statement about yourself – as it relates to screenwriting. For example, include any reputable screenwriting contests you may have won. A query once stated that the writer came in 429th place in the Writer’s Digest contest. Although this may be a great achievement for the writer, it could be deemed insignificant in Hollywood. (Know the audience.) It may be best to simply omit the “429th place.” If the script did not win or was not a finalist, be vague about where the script placed. Also, if it is not a recent win, leave out specific dates or inferences to dates. (“This script won the D.W. Griffith Screenwriting Award, which he presented to me personally.”)
Do not include scenes from your screenplay in a query letter. Scenes, descriptions of your characters, action or actual dialogue can seem very unappealing when taken out of context. Screenplays deserve to be read in their entirety – as a whole.
Avoid insignificant praise. Never include readers’ positive comments. “My college film professor says it’s the best screenplay he’s read this semester.” “The local mailman said my depiction of the United States Postal Service is accurate and riveting.” “Mary Jones at Warner Brothers loves the script but says I must have an agent.” If Mary Jones loves the script, she will do everything within her power to obtain the script. (Mary Jones is politely blowing off the writer.) Occasionally, these quotes offer an unwitting sub-text that backfires on the screenwriter. Also, avoid hyperbolic descriptions of the screenplay. “It’s an action packed, thrill-a-minute character study with a romance that will break your heart.” Any kind of hype is unprofessional. It is silly for a screenwriter to praise his own work. It goes without saying that the scribe believes his “characters are riveting” and his story “important for our times.”
Do not include supplemental material. For instance: “With the hopes of enticing you to read my new screenplay, SHAME: A GIRL WITH AN STD, I have enclosed an eight-page booklet about syphilis.” The odds of the pamphlet being read are slim to none. Also, don’t send food or candy with a letter. No one in their right mind will eat food sent to them by a complete stranger.
Do not make casting suggestions (unless you are targeting an actor’s representative), do not suggest marketing concepts, and do not offer up taglines.
Proofread the letter. One would believe writers have a strong command of their language. However, query letters are often littered with misspelled words. This also includes grammar and syntax errors.
Letters should be sent to a specific person. Be sure their name is spelled correctly. Refer to the “Hollywood Creative Directory,” the Internet, or call for the correct spelling. In general, calling ahead is a good idea. Double check to make sure the executive is still employed with that company. The agent’s name may appear in the “Hollywood Agents and Managers Directory,” but turnover is fierce, and the agent at UTA today could be at CAA tomorrow.
Avoid writing the letter by hand. Of course, an equal amount of care should be given to the envelope.
Avoid including “yes/no” self-addressed postcards - unless requested.
NEVER send the script along with the letter – unless requested.
When your script is solicited, do not ask that it be returned, and do not include a self-addressed stamped manila envelope for its return – unless requested.
