Hi Clouddog,
Keep on plowing through your play. It is hard to critique a single monologue out of context, so instead I just have a few questions.
Which character in your play is speaking? Is he or she in a group therapy session? or are they just hanging around in the day room? Is the monologue part of a bigger conversation, an answer to a question or is it just a soliloquy that pops up between scenes? Given the freeform nature of your script, any of these things can work. You just need to know what purpose it is serving...does it drive the plot in any way? Does it reveal necessary information about a character?
Plays are so different from any other form of writing. Some plays "read" well but are not compelling on stage. Others seem odd on the page, but with the right director (one with a clear vision of the play) and the right actors can transform into something really special when performed.