[PLEASE READ FIRST POST] Post the First Three Sentences of your Novel

editing_for_authors
Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

Unimportant

I got a Sisyphus point!!!!!
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 8, 2005
Messages
10,231
Reaction score
6,875
Location
Aotearoa
I might as well try this. I'm new and looking to get some feelings hurt.

Like many stories before and dozens from now, this story started in the flames. With the world at its knees. With my world in the balance.
Welcome to AW, ellye.bee!

I like the style. And it's intriguing that the narrator has two worlds: "the world" that is at its knees to the flames, and "my world" that is in the balance. It draws an interesting triptych of the flames on one side, "the world" (which I assume is Earth) on the other side, and the narrator's world (which I assume isn't a planet so much as everything that makes up their past, present, and future life) in the middle.

Myself, I'd probably cut the first clause and begin with "This story started in flames...." because to me the first clause is a bit too twee and middle-grade-reader, but what comes after it sounds epic adult.
 

jjmacdonald

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 17, 2022
Messages
160
Reaction score
100
Location
Earth on my days off
Website
johnjmacdonald.com
Here's the first three sentences of my latest's book.

Alexa shivered as she crouched in the shadows. The late summer rain had been falling off and on for several hours and she was soaked. Her red eyes shone brightly in contrast to her long wavy black hair that hung heavily around her pale, hollow face.
 

Lakey

professional dilettante
Staff member
Moderator
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 20, 2017
Messages
1,722
Reaction score
1,364
Location
New England
Here's the first three sentences of my latest's book.

Alexa shivered as she crouched in the shadows. The late summer rain had been falling off and on for several hours and she was soaked. Her red eyes shone brightly in contrast to her long wavy black hair that hung heavily around her pale, hollow face.
I'm curious about the POV, which is clearly not Alexa's. It would take a little more for me to see how that POV develops.

Otherwise, it's fine -- I'm waiting to find out who Alexa with the red eyes is and why she's crouching the shadows, and I hope you get there soon.

On the sentence level, it might be a little wordy. I don't think you need all of "late summer rain had been falling on and off for several hours" -- "it was raining" or "the late summer rain was falling" would probably be enough. Similarly in your third sentence, you've got a lot of adjectives -- red eyes, long wavy black hair, pale hollow face. Maybe focus down on the most important ones.

:e2coffee:
 

TheKingsWit

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Messages
152
Reaction score
161
Alexa shivered as she crouched in the shadows. The late summer rain had been falling off and on for several hours and she was soaked. Her red eyes shone brightly in contrast to her long wavy black hair that hung heavily around her pale, hollow face.
It starts off solid but the way information is being conveyed in the next two sentences threw me. We start closely focused on Alexa, she's a character performing a specific, potentially interesting action that I want to know more about. Then the description zooms out to tell us the season and how long it had been raining when right now all that matters is that she's soaked. Then the description of Alexa strikes me as a bit off. I think it's because I read the first line as being in Alexa's pov, and this one is clearly not and I can't quite figure out what pov it's meant to be. Actually, that might be my issue with the second sentence too. The first line is close and in the moment, the second is distant and telling. Either could work but they threw me side by side. Additionally, for me the third line has too many modifiers. Her hair is long, and black, and wavy, and hangs heavily. The individual details are interesting, and one or two would have been great (particularly fond of her pale, hollow face and limp hair) but all together that's 9 modifying words in one sentence which makes it feel really dense and a smidge list like.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lakey

Nether

has a healthy fear of clowns
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 23, 2021
Messages
2,256
Reaction score
2,216
Location
New England
Alexa shivered as she crouched in the shadows. The late summer rain had been falling off and on for several hours and she was soaked. Her red eyes shone brightly in contrast to her long wavy black hair that hung heavily around her pale, hollow face.

Like I believe Lakey was suggesting, it almost sounds like Alexa is looking at herself.

The sentences themselves could be trimmed down, and some details might be introduced later. The fact that Alex is shivering because she's soaked feels relevant, the fact it'd been raining sporadically feels less immediately important... unless the comment about how the rain behaved for hours is meant to suggest she's been crouching there for hours. If that's the case, I didn't immediately pick up on it.

Beyond that, I don't feel like the opening paragraph does anything interesting. The character is just there. We don't even get a sense for Alexa's surroundings or why she's crouching (although I would assume she's hiding?).
 

jjmacdonald

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 17, 2022
Messages
160
Reaction score
100
Location
Earth on my days off
Website
johnjmacdonald.com
I'm curious about the POV, which is clearly not Alexa's. It would take a little more for me to see how that POV develops.

Otherwise, it's fine -- I'm waiting to find out who Alexa with the red eyes is and why she's crouching the shadows, and I hope you get there soon.

On the sentence level, it might be a little wordy. I don't think you need all of "late summer rain had been falling on and off for several hours" -- "it was raining" or "the late summer rain was falling" would probably be enough. Similarly in your third sentence, you've got a lot of adjectives -- red eyes, long wavy black hair, pale hollow face. Maybe focus down on the most important ones.

:e2coffee:

Thanks for the feed back. I've always struggled with the into. I try to cram to much into long sentences. It's a habit I'm trying to break. And I finished book 3 in this series and just roughed an outline on book 4. I'm trying to do the whole agent/publishing route for these. Wanted to do something different.
 

jjmacdonald

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 17, 2022
Messages
160
Reaction score
100
Location
Earth on my days off
Website
johnjmacdonald.com
It starts off solid but the way information is being conveyed in the next two sentences threw me. We start closely focused on Alexa, she's a character performing a specific, potentially interesting action that I want to know more about. Then the description zooms out to tell us the season and how long it had been raining when right now all that matters is that she's soaked. Then the description of Alexa strikes me as a bit off. I think it's because I read the first line as being in Alexa's pov, and this one is clearly not and I can't quite figure out what pov it's meant to be. Actually, that might be my issue with the second sentence too. The first line is close and in the moment, the second is distant and telling. Either could work but they threw me side by side. Additionally, for me the third line has too many modifiers. Her hair is long, and black, and wavy, and hangs heavily. The individual details are interesting, and one or two would have been great (particularly fond of her pale, hollow face and limp hair) but all together that's 9 modifying words in one sentence which makes it feel really dense and a smidge list like.

Thanks for getting reading this. After coming back to it, I agree that the flow is a bit off. I'm waiting for my final alpha readers to get back with their notes before I go back and polish.

The POV isn't 1st or 3rd. The story follows her and those around her. I tried NOT to get into her internal thoughts.

Again, thanks.
 

jjmacdonald

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 17, 2022
Messages
160
Reaction score
100
Location
Earth on my days off
Website
johnjmacdonald.com
Like I believe Lakey was suggesting, it almost sounds like Alexa is looking at herself.

The sentences themselves could be trimmed down, and some details might be introduced later. The fact that Alex is shivering because she's soaked feels relevant, the fact it'd been raining sporadically feels less immediately important... unless the comment about how the rain behaved for hours is meant to suggest she's been crouching there for hours. If that's the case, I didn't immediately pick up on it.

Beyond that, I don't feel like the opening paragraph does anything interesting. The character is just there. We don't even get a sense for Alexa's surroundings or why she's crouching (although I would assume she's hiding?).

Thank you for your advice. I agree this needs some love. This is only the first three lines of the and after coming back to it, I do need to address it so it flows better. The paragraph does have all the missing info, just not in a concise order. I'm going to wait to see what my alpha readers say.
 

neandermagnon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
5,411
Reaction score
2,638
Location
Dorset, UK
Website
cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com
Here's the first three sentences of my latest's book.

Alexa shivered as she crouched in the shadows. The late summer rain had been falling off and on for several hours and she was soaked. Her red eyes shone brightly in contrast to her long wavy black hair that hung heavily around her pale, hollow face.

The first two lines grabbed my interest. The third line, as mentioned, has a few too many adjectives/adverbs, but I think the issue for me isn't so much how many there are, but that they're not including the most important details for me. I'm wondering if Alexa is an adult or a child, if she's a human with red eyes or something else. You're giving me a detailed description of her hair and face - physical description is important but hair and face aren't the most fundamental details, especially in genres where the MC might not be human.

Also, crouched in the shadows - is she lurking, about to carry out some plan, or is she hiding from danger, or just trying to shelter from the rain? A hint about which of these it is would increase how much this grips me. Changing crouched to cowered or hid (or similar) would add more information, because crouch just tells me what position her body is in. Cowering gives me an emotion too. Hiding gives me an intention. Your description of her eyes tell me only what they look like. Eyes can convey emotion, although if this is omniscient, the narrator can tell me what she's feeling and you don't need to rely on descriptions of eyes to convey emotion. At the moment, there's just a visual description - nothing more than what a camera would pick up. A story narrator has access to so much more than a camera.

I'm interested enough to read on to find out more about Alexa and why she's crouched in the shadows.
 

Paul Lamb

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 12, 2019
Messages
425
Reaction score
229
Location
American Midwest
Website
www.paullamb.wordpress.com
I don't generally write speculative fiction, so if/when I submit this, I'll be using a pen name. Anyway, here goes:

The minutes were hours and the hours were days, and they had no tally of their drifting passage but ticks on the wall of the final cabin they’d retreated to as the Fidele yielded by inches to the cold, unrelenting vacuum of space.

The expanse surrounding them was as boundless as the days. Yet time and distance had lost meaning; only survival had mattered.
 

Nether

has a healthy fear of clowns
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 23, 2021
Messages
2,256
Reaction score
2,216
Location
New England
The minutes were hours and the hours were days, and they had no tally of their drifting passage but ticks on the wall of the final cabin they’d retreated to as the Fidele yielded by inches to the cold, unrelenting vacuum of space.

The expanse surrounding them was as boundless as the days. Yet time and distance had lost meaning; only survival had mattered.

The first sentence is a little meaty, but I feel like it works -- it's eye-catching and engaging.

However, the other two sentences don't carry the same energy. I think part of the problem is the second and third sentences feel entirely abstract, whereas the first sentence had a little action grounding the scene (ie, the reference to them having retreated to a cabin as something went wrong). The first sentence feels abstract at the start, but little grounded by the end... and then the next two following sentences are abstract again. By the end of the first sentence, my reaction is, "Okay, what the hell is going on here?", and it feels like the next two sentences are delaying that answer.
 

neandermagnon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
5,411
Reaction score
2,638
Location
Dorset, UK
Website
cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com
I don't generally write speculative fiction, so if/when I submit this, I'll be using a pen name. Anyway, here goes:

The minutes were hours and the hours were days, and they had no tally of their drifting passage but ticks on the wall of the final cabin they’d retreated to as the Fidele yielded by inches to the cold, unrelenting vacuum of space.

The expanse surrounding them was as boundless as the days. Yet time and distance had lost meaning; only survival had mattered.

What I like about the first sentence is that it conveys the timelessness that you're expressing with it. It's kind of rambling, but then so is time for the people in your story. I would prefer it if "unrelenting vacuum of space" was nearer the beginning because the thing with the time you're describing could be true of living underground or locked in a room on Earth with no windows so you can't track day/night. Also, "unrelenting vacuum of space" is the most grabby bit of the sentence, at least for me.

I'm not certain if they are stuck somewhere in space or if they are travelling through space. It's kind of a bit Einstein-y in that it would read the same if they're sat stuck somewhere or if they're travelling at a constant speed. (Plus "stuck somewhere" can still mean you're actually travelling at a pretty fast constant speed because "stuck somewhere" is relative .) "yielded by inches" is what threw me. I'm not sure what you mean by it.

The third sentence: I'm not sure you need to elaborate on the vastness of space. Playing with relativity - time and distance being meaningless without a frame of reference kind of thing - could potentially be very good. Only survival mattering: for this to be meaningful to me, I need to know what they're up against. But I don't. For example: in The Martian by Andy Weir, he doesn't need to say "survival was critical for Mark Watney" because he's stranded on Mars with only 30 days of life support, a whole load of things could possibly go wrong and no way to communicate with Earth. That's what I don't know with this opening - what your characters are up against.

Also, there's just a nameless "they" - I think I'd find it more engaging to know who "they" is/are. For example:

All the three crew members of the Fidele had to mark the passage of time were ticks on the wall of the final cabin they’d retreated to as the Fidele yielded by inches to the cold, unrelenting vacuum of space. Minutes were hours and hours were days... (etc)

(NOTE: this is not a suggestion of how to rephrase it, I'm just illustrating what I mean by being more specific about the characters and trying to get "unrelenting vacuum of space" in a bit sooner)

Okay I think I sort of understand a little better now - their ship's been breached and only this cabin still has life support. The rest of the ship has lost heat and a breathable atmosphere and inch by inch more of the ship is losing heat. I think you do need to rephrase the first sentence to make that clearer, because this situation definitely would want to make me read on, but on the first couple of readings, I couldn't figure out what was going on. The sentence can still be long if you want, or a long second sentence about time being unmeasurable for them. Long sentences are fine, but clarity issues need attention. Now that I understand the situation I definitely want to read on.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Paul Lamb

jjmacdonald

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 17, 2022
Messages
160
Reaction score
100
Location
Earth on my days off
Website
johnjmacdonald.com
The minutes were hours and the hours were days, and they had no tally of their drifting passage but ticks on the wall of the final cabin they’d retreated to as the Fidele yielded by inches to the cold, unrelenting vacuum of space.

The expanse surrounding them was as boundless as the days. Yet time and distance had lost meaning; only survival had mattered.

Hmm... The first sentence does give a rambling feel and I'd have like to have the next two do the same. The first set the tone but the next to seem out of place.

The image I expected after reading the first was that of an old ship, or sailor, lost at sea (space). He's sitting there, reminiscing about his life or the circumstances that lead up to this point. I was expecting something like him watching others rushed around him in desperation.

Got me interested... :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Paul Lamb

jjmacdonald

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 17, 2022
Messages
160
Reaction score
100
Location
Earth on my days off
Website
johnjmacdonald.com
The first two lines grabbed my interest. The third line, as mentioned, has a few too many adjectives/adverbs, but I think the issue for me isn't so much how many there are, but that they're not including the most important details for me. I'm wondering if Alexa is an adult or a child, if she's a human with red eyes or something else. You're giving me a detailed description of her hair and face - physical description is important but hair and face aren't the most fundamental details, especially in genres where the MC might not be human.

Also, crouched in the shadows - is she lurking, about to carry out some plan, or is she hiding from danger, or just trying to shelter from the rain? A hint about which of these it is would increase how much this grips me. Changing crouched to cowered or hid (or similar) would add more information, because crouch just tells me what position her body is in. Cowering gives me an emotion too. Hiding gives me an intention. Your description of her eyes tell me only what they look like. Eyes can convey emotion, although if this is omniscient, the narrator can tell me what she's feeling and you don't need to rely on descriptions of eyes to convey emotion. At the moment, there's just a visual description - nothing more than what a camera would pick up. A story narrator has access to so much more than a camera.

I'm interested enough to read on to find out more about Alexa and why she's crouched in the shadows.

Thanks for your input. I do agree that there's a little to much going on in the third line and it needs some love. At this point I'm waiting for Alpha/Beta readers before I start to change sentence structures.
 

Paul Lamb

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 12, 2019
Messages
425
Reaction score
229
Location
American Midwest
Website
www.paullamb.wordpress.com
What I like about the first sentence is that it conveys the timelessness that you're expressing with it. It's kind of rambling, but then so is time for the people in your story. I would prefer it if "unrelenting vacuum of space" was nearer the beginning because the thing with the time you're describing could be true of living underground or locked in a room on Earth with no windows so you can't track day/night. Also, "unrelenting vacuum of space" is the most grabby bit of the sentence, at least for me.

I'm not certain if they are stuck somewhere in space or if they are travelling through space. It's kind of a bit Einstein-y in that it would read the same if they're sat stuck somewhere or if they're travelling at a constant speed. (Plus "stuck somewhere" can still mean you're actually travelling at a pretty fast constant speed because "stuck somewhere" is relative .) "yielded by inches" is what threw me. I'm not sure what you mean by it.

The third sentence: I'm not sure you need to elaborate on the vastness of space. Playing with relativity - time and distance being meaningless without a frame of reference kind of thing - could potentially be very good. Only survival mattering: for this to be meaningful to me, I need to know what they're up against. But I don't. For example: in The Martian by Andy Weir, he doesn't need to say "survival was critical for Mark Watney" because he's stranded on Mars with only 30 days of life support, a whole load of things could possibly go wrong and no way to communicate with Earth. That's what I don't know with this opening - what your characters are up against.

Also, there's just a nameless "they" - I think I'd find it more engaging to know who "they" is/are. For example:

All the three crew members of the Fidele had to mark the passage of time were ticks on the wall of the final cabin they’d retreated to as the Fidele yielded by inches to the cold, unrelenting vacuum of space. Minutes were hours and hours were days... (etc)

(NOTE: this is not a suggestion of how to rephrase it, I'm just illustrating what I mean by being more specific about the characters and trying to get "unrelenting vacuum of space" in a bit sooner)

Okay I think I sort of understand a little better now - their ship's been breached and only this cabin still has life support. The rest of the ship has lost heat and a breathable atmosphere and inch by inch more of the ship is losing heat. I think you do need to rephrase the first sentence to make that clearer, because this situation definitely would want to make me read on, but on the first couple of readings, I couldn't figure out what was going on. The sentence can still be long if you want, or a long second sentence about time being unmeasurable for them. Long sentences are fine, but clarity issues need attention. Now that I understand the situation I definitely want to read on.

All the three crew members of the Fidele had to mark the passage of time were ticks on the wall
Thanks for your input and observations. It turns out that the two on the Fidele are not marking the passage of time with the ticks on the wall but something more important to them. Of course, you only have a few sentences and the story continued for another 2,000 words to make its case. Thanks for your thoughts.
 

Nuwanda

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Messages
612
Reaction score
70
Website
abigailftaylor.wordpress.com
I might as well try this. I'm new and looking to get some feelings hurt.

Like many stories before and dozens from now, this story started in the flames. With the world at its knees. With my world in the balance.
If you start with "This Story started in the flames" it is such a huge punch! That's a great hook! And then instead of balance put "with my world in the (insert fire related thing here. ashes. coals. kindling??) Unless we read the jacket cover, we don't know what world your character's world is, so (without anything else to go off of) I'd strike it out.
 

Nuwanda

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Messages
612
Reaction score
70
Website
abigailftaylor.wordpress.com
I'd like to throw my hat into the ring!

"It was well known that Skunk Lowery was a witch. So, it stood to reason that, eventually, he'd get run out of town. At the age of twenty, he had nothing but his name and the dead horse beside him."
 
  • Like
Reactions: WriteMinded

Unimportant

I got a Sisyphus point!!!!!
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 8, 2005
Messages
10,231
Reaction score
6,875
Location
Aotearoa
I'd like to throw my hat into the ring!

"It was well known that Skunk Lowery was a witch. So, it stood to reason that, eventually, he'd get run out of town. At the age of twenty, he had nothing but his name and the dead horse beside him."
I love this. The only suggestion I have is maybe for the third sentence to be 'and the dead horse he rode'-- if that is true to the witch-horse relationship.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nuwanda

mccardey

wear a mask
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
16,449
Reaction score
9,134
Location
Australia.
"It was well known that Skunk Lowery was a witch and it stood to reason that, eventually, he'd get run out of town. Which is why no one was surprised when, at the age of twenty, he had nothing but his name and the dead horse beside him."
I like this, too. I wondered if you could combine the first two sentences, and so clarify their relationship to the third.

(I tried to do it above, but it still quotes you. I’ll try to fix the post when I’m back on the computer. I really hate my iPhone)

Would definitely read on.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nuwanda

Nuwanda

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Messages
612
Reaction score
70
Website
abigailftaylor.wordpress.com
I love this. The only suggestion I have is maybe for the third sentence to be 'and the dead horse he rode'-- if that is true to the witch-horse relationship.
If I'm reading this right, the sentences give off the idea of a zombie horse? Which would be so cool. Like Darby O'Gill's death carriage but 10 times more CGI!!

in the next few paragraphs, it explains that he rode the horse to its death. Very tragic, very old school western. So the horse is dead-dead not magic-dead unfortunately. Poor girl.

Thank you for your input! It certainly helps me consider the phrasing!
 

Nuwanda

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Messages
612
Reaction score
70
Website
abigailftaylor.wordpress.com
I like this, too. I wondered if you could combine the first two sentences, and so clarify their relationship to the third.

(I tried to do it above, but it still quotes you. I’ll try to fix the post when I’m back on the computer. I really hate my iPhone)

Would definitely read on.
Yes, I see what you mean! I already feel like there's too many comas. Especially the second sentence. I want to Hemmingway the whole thing! But you putting it in that direction certainly shows a great way to tinker with them. Thank you!
 

Unimportant

I got a Sisyphus point!!!!!
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 8, 2005
Messages
10,231
Reaction score
6,875
Location
Aotearoa
If I'm reading this right, the sentences give off the idea of a zombie horse? Which would be so cool. Like Darby O'Gill's death carriage but 10 times more CGI!!

in the next few paragraphs, it explains that he rode the horse to its death. Very tragic, very old school western. So the horse is dead-dead not magic-dead unfortunately. Poor girl.

Thank you for your input! It certainly helps me consider the phrasing!
Ah, then maybe, he left nothing behind but his name and the corpse of the horse he'd ridden to death, ?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nuwanda

neandermagnon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
5,411
Reaction score
2,638
Location
Dorset, UK
Website
cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com
I'd like to throw my hat into the ring!

"It was well known that Skunk Lowery was a witch. So, it stood to reason that, eventually, he'd get run out of town. At the age of twenty, he had nothing but his name and the dead horse beside him."

This is and interesting start and I want to know more. I'm inclined to agree regarding rephrasing the 3rd sentence to make it clear that the horse has just died and isn't some kind of magical zombie horse. At this point I'm not sure if he's a Wiccan in a contemporary, real world story, or if he's a storybook witch in a fantasy type of genre. I'm assuming the cover would tell me the genre. I would read on either way.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nuwanda

TellMeAStory

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 30, 2013
Messages
1,102
Reaction score
162
Location
Somewhere between earnest application and gleeful
How about these first three sentences?

Back when big sister Masha was alive and Papa still lived at home, somebody knocked at the door. It wasn’t the rent man’s knock, so Raisel turned the doorknob, and two strange ladies breezed into the room, exclaiming to each other about how “well-swept” everything looked and how neat and tidy it was here. Mama didn’t understand English, but she did understand that, and she beamed with pride.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Janine R

neandermagnon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
5,411
Reaction score
2,638
Location
Dorset, UK
Website
cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com
How about these first three sentences?

Back when big sister Masha was alive and Papa still lived at home, somebody knocked at the door. It wasn’t the rent man’s knock, so Raisel turned the doorknob, and two strange ladies breezed into the room, exclaiming to each other about how “well-swept” everything looked and how neat and tidy it was here. Mama didn’t understand English, but she did understand that, and she beamed with pride.

I love the voice in this. It pulls me right into the character's life and focuses on the kinds of details a child would notice. Also, the first sentence and the rent man knocking on the door shows me that this child won't have/hasn't had an easy life - that also draws me in. Sorry for the short crit, not much else to say besides I really like it and want to read on.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TellMeAStory

Elizabeth George's book Write Away