Phone call dialogue

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piper

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I'm sure this has been asked before, but I couldn't find it. When you're writing out dialogue of a person on the phone and you don't want to include the other person's voice, how is that written. Is it like this?

DEAN
I hate to have to move her again. She's been through
so much...I know...I didn't really think of it
that way.

Do I use the elipses?

Thanks!
 

nganok

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piper said:
I'm sure this has been asked before, but I couldn't find it. When you're writing out dialogue of a person on the phone and you don't want to include the other person's voice, how is that written. Is it like this?

DEAN
I hate to have to move her again. She's been through
so much...I know...I didn't really think of it
that way.

Do I use the elipses?

Thanks!

If its a long pause in a short conversation- I might use dialog (BEATS)
 

dpaterso

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Sure, why not ellipses, but (beat) or other parentheticals can make longer pauses more clear so it's obvious the character is listening to what's been said, and isn't... you know... just fumbling for words, e.g.

DEAN
I hate to have to move her
again. She's been through
so much...
(he listens)
I know, it's just that--
(he listens)
I didn't really think of it
that way! So you think--
(he listens, surprised)
She WHAT? What operation?
What are you saying, Doctor?
(he listens, shocked)
You're telling me my wife...
my wife used to be a man?

If you haven't already, take a peek at a couple of recent threads in this forum, "Questions re telephone dialogue, montages, naming characters" and "One more question re: phone conversations"

-Derek
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Take the critiques you get with a grain of salt. Invariably, some of the critics will be kooks, bitter curmudgeons, or complete fools. ~odocoileus
 

scripter1

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Remember

to blend in action / reaction to ALL your dialog.
And remember that it is more important what is SEEN then what is heard.

D's dialog is a great example of how you can spice up conversations and tell the real story through action.
 
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