Perfectly understandable but surprising mishaps

[Tiger1b]

This is one about painful occurrences that make perfect sense while defying anticipation.

Here’s one of mine: Has anyone else ever stepped on a billiards rack that someone had left on the floor?

ETA: Happy Thanksgiving Day to our American friends

 

[Unimportant]

Has anyone ever bent over to blow-dry the underside of their long hair and leaned forward too far and tipped over and hit the wall?

No, me neither.....

 

[CMBright]

I once leaned a little too far forward as I was standing up in a movie theater. Broke my glasses hitting the seat in the row in front.

I've forgotten I was wearing glasses from time to time. Remembering I had them on between jumping and hitting the pool or river water. Luckily I didn't loose them any of the times I did that one.

The bright idea of closing a window from the top instead of pulling the bottom ledge, that one landed me in the ER with a pinched nerve when I landed wrong and a toe dislocated back in junior high.

Back in grade school, I rode my bike all over the planned commuity. One park had a tunnel under the street along the trail. To keep kids safe, I suppose. Unfortunately, the tunnel and the trail were about an inch different in elevation. The Superkid imitation over the handle bars that rather memorable day was not intentional. No lasting damage to me or bike. No injuries at all, other than the one to my pride and perhaps a bruise or scrape.

And those are just a few of the most memorable ones.

 

[Tiger1b]

Has anyone ever bent over to blow-dry the underside of their long hair and leaned forward too far and tipped over and hit the wall?

No, me neither.....

Well, I did once struggle trying to find something that would ponytail my excess strands without sliding off.

Now, I understand why my ancestors had to go the topknot route.

 

[Tiger1b]

I once leaned a little too far forward as I was standing up in a movie theater. Broke my glasses hitting the seat in the row in front.

Years and years ago, I was making my way down the aisle on a bus on my way to class, when the lead-footed driver gunned it around a turn. I grabbed onto one of the support poles, pivoted and ended up seated on the lap of a petit young exchange student from Taiwan. She was a good sport about it.

 

[Unimportant]

I used to ride my bike while reading a book, with it perched on the handlebars. Once I got so engrossed in the story I failed to pay any attention to my surroundings. I hit a parked car and flipped over the bike and landed on the car's boot.

Happily no damage to me, bike, or car, but pretty damned embarrassing.

Another time I was walking home from school, and it was snowing like mad, and for some reason I was really happy so I was smiling and saying hello to everyone I walked past. For, like, a mile. Got home and realised I'd put on non-waterproof mascara that morning. I looked like a domestic violence victim.

Curse you, @Tiger1b, for starting this thread! I feel compelled to confess every stupid, embarrassing thing I've ever done.

Wait till you hear the one about me, on the porch, wearing nothing but a cat.....

 

[Tiger1b]

To keep kids safe, I suppose. Unfortunately, the tunnel and the trail were about an inch different in elevation. The Superkid imitation over the handle bars that rather memorable day was not intentional. No lasting damage to me or bike. No injuries at all, other than the one to my pride and perhaps a bruise or scrape.

I had a few incidences like that cruzing the burbs on my Superbad banana-seated kid bike over slotted sewer grates that seemed purpose-built to catch banana-seated kid bike tires. O, those rubber body days of yore.

 

[Gramps]

I washed my hands in the restroom of a restaurant. The faucet handle came off in my hand and water spewed over me and the gentleman next to me.

Naturally, the restroom was in the back of the establishment. We came out looking like drowned rats. The gentleman exited the alarmed side door and as I was in the general location of the door, that directed even more attention my way, (thanks dude!)

Date nights with my lovely bride were never quite the same again. I believe with each bite, she anticipated some calamity.

 

[Fi Webster]

Well, I did once struggle trying to find something that would ponytail my excess strands without sliding off.

Now, I understand why my ancestors had to go the topknot route.

All through my 20s and 30s I could pull all my hair straight back from my face, without a part, and tie it in a neat knot on the back of my head. If I wanted it to stay neat no matter what I was doing, I'd stick a couple of clear plastic doodads in the knot. Or a couple of little wooden hair sticks. Or even a pencil.

As for mishaps, I've had quite a few while walking barefoot everywhere—which I still do in my 60s, most of the year. I burn the soles of my feet on the hot cement around a swimming pool, or on hot sand at the beach. I step on Legos or cat toys inside, or sticks outside. I catch a little toe on things, stretching it abruptly sideways, making the joint ouchy for days. I stub a toe so the nailbed goes black, the dark hue taking forever to grow out.

And in coastal Texas where I grew up the shoulders of roads are often covered with oyster shells, 'cause they're cheaper, more plentiful, than gravel. Oyster shells are nearly impossible to walk on barefoot. And they're scattered here and there in the mud at the bottom of waist-high water in bays. One time I was standing in the silty water by a dock, farting around with my sailboat, and sliced two toes wide open on an oyster shell. That time I needed stitches and had to use crutches for a week.

You know those high curbs from sidewalks down to the parking spots in front of strip malls and convenience stores? I've had more than one pratfall on those. One time in front of a Dunkin Donuts I pitched down off the high curb and landed hard on my knees in coarse gravel. Miraculously I didn't spill the box of dozen donuts I was carrying. A day or so later crescent-shaped blood pockets—not bruises, but hematomas—appeared under my skin on both sides of both knees. Pretty dramatic!

 

[Fi Webster]

Curse you, @Tiger1b, for starting this thread! I feel compelled to confess every stupid, embarrassing thing I've ever done.

Wait till you hear the one about me, on the porch, wearing nothing but a cat.....

Indeed. One time I wasn't far from home when my car broke down. It was raining. I was wearing a thin white tee shirt with no bra over large breasts. Didn't have a cell phone, so I couldn't call for assistance. Got the car onto the shoulder, then stood on the side of the road windmilling my arms at traffic whizzing by. I was frantic to get someone to stop and give me a lift before I looked like a gal in a wet tee shirt contestant. Just barely got a ride before that happened. Close call!

When I told my husband about it, he was unsympathetic. Why wasn't I wearing a bra? he asked. Shit—if I don't have to go to work, I never wear a bra. Period.

But I learned my lesson. Now I always wear black tee shirts—better boob camouflage.

 

[Unimportant]

About 20 years ago, we got a pair of kittens. Once they'd grown up a bit and become more nocturnal, I was trying to teach them to hop in and out of the always-left-open office window rather than yowling at the French doors in the middle of the night to come in or go out. Peanut caught on right away, but Troll still expected room service.

So, 5 am, dawn light breaking on a hot summer morn. Troll's yowling her head off on the deck. I, wearing my nighttime nothing, get up, go out on the deck, grab Troll, and plan to thrust her through the open window by way of training. Then I see a car driving very slowly, erratically, past the house, with the driver, our next door neighbour, staring at me. I try to use Troll to cover boobs. No, crotch. No, boobs. Troll's not big enough to be even a child's bikini, let alone half of one for me. So, yep, there's me, on the porch, wearing nothing but a cat.

The next day, there's a For Sale sign in front of their house.

Go me.

 

[CMBright]

About 20 years ago, we got a pair of kittens. Once they'd grown up a bit and become more nocturnal, I was trying to teach them to hop in and out of the always-left-open office window rather than yowling at the French doors in the middle of the night to come in or go out. Peanut caught on right away, but Troll still expected room service.

So, 5 am, dawn light breaking on a hot summer morn. Troll's yowling her head off on the deck. I, wearing my nighttime nothing, get up, go out on the deck, grab Troll, and plan to thrust her through the open window by way of training. Then I see a car driving very slowly, erratically, past the house, with the driver staring at me. I try to use Troll to cover boobs. No, crotch. No, boobs. Troll's not big enough to be even a child's bikini, let alone half of one for me. So, yep, there's me, on the porch, wearing nothing but a cat.

The next day, there's a For Sale sign in front of their house.

Go me.

You're mean. How the heck am I supposed to read that when I'm laughing so hard I can't keep my eyes open!

Furry little entropy engines. Totally worth it.

 

[Tiger1b]

Curse you, @Tiger1b, for starting this thread! I feel compelled to confess every stupid, embarrassing thing I've ever done.

C’mon, since when are writers shy when it comes to a good yarn?

Wait till you hear the one about me, on the porch, wearing nothing but a cat.....

Okay. The fine print. That is, indeed, a well-told tale.

 

[Tiger1b]

About 20 years ago, we got a pair of kittens. Once they'd grown up a bit and become more nocturnal, I was trying to teach them to hop in and out of the always-left-open office window rather than yowling at the French doors in the middle of the night to come in or go out. Peanut caught on right away, but Troll still expected room service.

So, 5 am, dawn light breaking on a hot summer morn. Troll's yowling her head off on the deck. I, wearing my nighttime nothing, get up, go out on the deck, grab Troll, and plan to thrust her through the open window by way of training. Then I see a car driving very slowly, erratically, past the house, with the driver, our next door neighbour, staring at me. I try to use Troll to cover boobs. No, crotch. No, boobs. Troll's not big enough to be even a child's bikini, let alone half of one for me. So, yep, there's me, on the porch, wearing nothing but a cat.

The next day, there's a For Sale sign in front of their house.

Go me.

Could be worse. You could have had pet geckos like I do.

 

[StarsForScales]

I used to ride my bike while reading a book, with it perched on the handlebars. Once I got so engrossed in the story I failed to pay any attention to my surroundings. I hit a parked car and flipped over the bike and landed on the car's boot.

Happily no damage to me, bike, or car, but pretty damned embarrassing.

Wincing in sympathy here. My environmental awareness has never been great - as a kid, I didn't even need a book to read in order to run my bike into a parked trailer (I was busy thinking my thoughts, okay?).

I have also run into a wall while crossing a room in the dark. I am usually good at navigating that way, but overconfidence will get you.

And, for the hat trick, I was once lugging a burlap sack full of soggy wood chips when I walked directly into a concrete parking curb. I choose this out of all the stories I have of running into things because, while the impact was enough to draw blood, my toenail polish somehow remained perfectly pristine.

 

[Tiger1b]

I have also run into a wall while crossing a room in the dark. I am usually good at navigating that way, but overconfidence will get you.

I did that for a few nights when down with chicken pox (at 35). Problem was I thought I could see where I was going. In retrospect, COVID was nothing in comparison.

 

[Gramps]

My brother was 6"6'. He was running out to meet up with some friends and our dog was lying in the doorway. He jumped, his forehead and the wall had a painful encounter and he acquired a concussion. The twelve-year-old me laughed hysterically until he didn't get up. My lack of first-aid knowledge left him with a pillow under his head and a cold cloth on his forehead while I waited for our mother to return.

He blamed the dog. The dog and I both had a good laugh over it. (Secretly of course. The dog had a great sense of humor.)

 

[Tiger1b]

Dogs are funny. Every other time I did a kid thing that involved spreading newspaper on the floor the beagle would mosey over and nonchalantly take a seat right in the middle of it—and pretend he didn’t notice me.

 

[Tiger1b]

I washed my hands in the restroom of a restaurant. The faucet handle came off in my hand and water spewed over me and the gentleman next to me.

Naturally, the restroom was in the back of the establishment. We came out looking like drowned rats. The gentleman exited the alarmed side door and as I was in the general location of the door, that directed even more attention my way, (thanks dude!)

Date nights with my lovely bride were never quite the same again. I believe with each bite, she anticipated some calamity.

Just realized that this thread is tailor-made for first date stories of the one-way-or-the-other variety.

The one that comes to mind was when I finally screwed up the nerve to ask a high school crush out to dinner.

I was so nervous that when I thought my glass of root beer was tipping, I snatched at it like a desperate praying mantis and splashed a reverse silhouette of my head on the wall behind me.

At least I had a cool car.

 

[Gramps]

Dogs are funny. Every other time I did a kid thing that involved spreading newspaper on the floor the beagle would mosey over and nonchalantly take a seat right in the middle of it—and pretend he didn’t notice me.

It could have been worse. Paper trained dogs have an affinity for newspaper. If you know what I mean.

 

[CMBright]

It could have been worse. Paper trained dogs have an infinity for newspaper. If you know what I mean.

I will admit that potential outcome did occur to me.

Any potential plays on words in that comment are strictly unintentional!

 

[Tiger1b]

It could have been worse. Paper trained dogs have an affinity for newspaper. If you know what I mean.

Yes, much worse. No disagreement here.

 

[Tiger1b]

I will admit that potential outcome did occur to me.

Any potential plays on words in that comment are strictly unintentional!

Indeed, the results would look positively nauseous… uh, on paper at least.

 

[Tiger1b]

Has anyone else ever taken a really stupid dare?

 

[CMBright]

Has anyone else ever taken a really stupid dare?

I have not. Though I did jump off a roughly one story retaining wall into a rather deep snowbank once without a dare. I was in grade school at the time.

I did not always think things through. Until half way between wall and snowbank. If then.