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Noble House U.K. / Noble House Publishers

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Bamponang

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My sister, who has published some poetry, recently received the email below. What kind of honour is it, if you have to pay for it? (see the text I made bold).

..........................................
Dear

As you may know, Noble House is one of the world's foremost publishers of fiction and nonfiction works by new and established authors. Our poetry division in the U.K. has had the honour of publishing the poetry of more than 800 poets over the past twelve years.

Recently I had the pleasure of reading your poetry that you have had published in the United States. I was moved so much by your written words that I have selected you to honour with our most desired and prestigious Noble House 2006 Lapel Pin. This stunning pin, crafted with 24-karat gold, proudly displays your status as an elite member of Noble House Publishers and is something you should be very proud of. This accomplishment should not be taken lightly since only a few writers have received such a distinction in the past.
Not only does the honour of wearing the Noble House Lapel Pin bring such a high level of respect in the poetic community, it also was designed by one of the premiere artists in the U.K. Samantha Higgins has been in the business of crafting precious symbolic jewellery pieces for over twenty years and is very well-known in the area. Her meticulous craftsmanship is highlighted in every jewellery piece's elaborate, yet simplistic design, not to mention the exceptional detail. Samantha Higgins used this same care and precision when she created the Noble House Lapel Pin. This striking jewellery piece has the official Noble House emblem set with 24-karat gold. It is truly a masterpiece that honours your outstanding and well-deserved accomplishments.
And that's not all! The pin comes with a Certificate of Authenticity attesting to its Limited Edition status and is formally presented in a striking, dark brown "leather" display case. Just imagine the sense of gratification you will feel when others see this Limited Edition pin with 24-karat gold honouring your poetic accomplishments and acknowledge your poetic distinction. What an impressive way to show off your status as an elite member of Noble House Publishers!

To take advantage of this 'once-in-a-lifetime' honour, simply fill out the order form or click on the link below. I must ask for a nominal fee of $69.95 (£40.20) to cover the costs incurred with the shipping, handling, and insurance of the Noble House Lapel Pin.

It is extremely important to me that it is delivered to you in the right manner with the utmost care.

Deborah, I was extremely delighted with your work and feel you deserve this type of recognition. Many people write poetry for years and never obtain the level of artistry that is present in your work. You should be very proud of your accomplishment.

I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Sincerely,

Nigel Hillary
Publisher,
Poetry Division
Noble House U.K.
 

JennaGlatzer

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Wow! This one wasn't in our index yet? I'm shocked.

Yep, Noble House has admitted to being affiliated with Poetry.com (a.k.a. the National Library of Poetry, International Library of Poetry, etc.), a very famous vanity anthology scam. They apparently share their mailing lists; if you submit to Poetry.com, you'll likely also hear from Noble House with just that sort of letter-- claiming to have seen the fabulous work you published in the United States and wanting to publish it in the U.K.
 

Dollywagon

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Well I think it makes Noble House look really tacky.
 

PVish

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My elderly dog received the same letter almost a year after his, uh, doggerel appeared on the ILP website. (He wasn't impressed by the picture of the pin, etc.)
 

Momento Mori

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Is it wrong to laugh hysterically at this?

"I like your poetry so much that I'm going to give you a teeny gold badge that you have to pay for - but you should totally be honoured about it."

Paying for the insurance costs is a particularly nice touch.

At least Blue Peter never makes you pay for their badges.[/Brit joke]
 

Tsu Dho Nimh

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Marvelous weasel-wording

Bamponang said:
This stunning pin, crafted with 24-karat gold, proudly displays your status as an elite member of Noble House Publishers and is something you should be very proud of.

And that's not all! The pin comes with a Certificate of Authenticity attesting to its Limited Edition status and is formally presented in a striking, dark brown "leather" display case. Just imagine the sense of gratification you will feel when others see this Limited Edition pin with 24-karat gold honouring your poetic accomplishments and acknowledge your poetic

Crafted WITH instead of crafted OF = 24k gold plated or washed

So she's been offered a gold-plated pin in a fake leather case, to honour her poetical skill, and they want her to pay $70!
 

Zainab

I recently received a messages which says I was honoured with this stunning pin crafted with 24carat gold

Was is that
 

Zainab

When I'm talking to you

When I'm talking to you
I feel much relaxe
I feel like all the happiness
Is down on my legs
News paper I begin to read
I start losing my weight
I begin seeing the life simple
Just like that
I also tend to forget all my pain
New bed sheets on my bed
Assuming I'm new again
My lips turning red
Without a question in my mouth
The first word comes out
You make me feel scooby doo
When I'm talking to you
Believe me or not
Thats exactly how I feel
Lovely and fresh
When I'm talking to you:LilLove:
 

Tilly

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Zainab said:
What if I don't have the money how can I receive it ^^

Hi Zainab,

Noble house isn't interested in peole's poetry - just their money. If this is who you received the message from, I'd just ignore them.
 
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smallthunder

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Egads! Call in the Copywriters!

Ya gotta love this line:

"Her meticulous craftsmanship is highlighted in every jewellery piece's elaborate, yet simplistic design, not to mention the exceptional detail."

Can something be "elaborate" while simultaneously "simplistic"?

Or "simplistic" yet with "exceptional detail"?

And does one want "simplistic" jewelry, anyway?

Does the detail work on such jewerly count as "exceptional" insofar as any detail is the exception?

I could play with this letter for hours!

[But I do have better things to do with my time.]
 

CaoPaux

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Gone! :banana: Near as I can tell, the last batch of letters went out Fall '08 for an Spring '09 anthology. No sign of it being produced, though.
 

Hanukkah sameach!

Gold menorah and on a gradiated purple background