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Lilith The Avenger (new version, 910 words)

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TexasPoet

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Let’s be fair about it. There’s a whole history book of why Lilith, not the biblical one but the one from West Virginia, did what she did. A long list of lovers who used her, people who took what they wanted from her, and left her when she was most in need.

After her last lover, let’s call him John, dumped her for someone he met at work, she was set to end it all, but she pulled the hand holding the pills away from her mouth and shouted, “Oh, hell no!”

So, she joined a coven with the intent of learning a spell to teach John a lesson. The head witch of the coven called Mother listened intently to Lilith’s sad tale of past lovers including John. The white witch shook her head gently saying, “I’ve heard this all before. Once you start learning revenge spells, there’s no going back; you know that, right?”

Lilith didn’t care. She was tired of two-timing SOBs, men too handsome for their own good, who knew how to use a look like a snake stares down its prey. Revenge, she didn’t want justice, she wanted revenge; white poker-hot revenge to make others suffer like she had suffered.

So Mother started Lilith’s training with easy things first, small non-revenge incantations that turned mice into frogs, (there was no reverse spell, so Lilith’s house was overrun with amphibians), how to read tarot cards, and simple potions, like the truth elixir.

Lilith did well with all of it, but she became frustrated with the slow pace of her training, “Enough of this Mr. Miaghi shit, when do we get to the good stuff like bad luck spells?”

Mother pulled her glasses down to the tip of nose, “Patience, dear Lilith, it takes years of training to cast a bad luck spell without it splashing back on you.”

“What,” exclaimed Lilith, “years? I want to start doing damage now!”

“Oh, my, you just don’t understand. One of my former students, Arcadia, felt the same way. She cast a baldness spell on her ex-lover. The next day he was indeed bald, but, in turn, she had grown a beard down to her belly button. No razor or shears could cut her facial hair. I think she’s working with a circus down in Texas now.”

”Well crap,” said Lilith. “Is there any spell I can cast on the men who did me wrong or at least on that last turd, John? Anything, I don’t care how small it is; give him jock itch or halitosis, something?”

Mother was sure this was Lilith’s hundredth time to ask to learn the revenge spell. Worn down, Mother pulled up her glasses, placed her index finger on her chin and sighed, “Well.”

That’s all Lilith needed to hear. That “well” was her salvation, her second baptism, she knew something good was coming.

“Yes, yes,” questioned Lilith.

“There is a spell that you can learn quickly, if you practice every day. It takes a while to learn, but you should be able to cast it within a month or so, if you’re careful.”

“I’m all in! What is it?”

“It can only be cast on someone who has no affection for you, so you have to be careful, and even then, it can splash back on you.”

“Really! That’s perfect! I only want revenge on that dirty bastard John. He has no love for me, so I’ll be safe.”

So Mother began teaching the seldom taught spell to Lilith. Lilith was a dedicated student, she read and practiced, watched and practiced, and practiced and practiced.

Within three weeks she thought she was ready, but Mother had reservations.

”I think you should work at it one more month. One more month should do it.”

”No, no, no,” Lilith protested, “I’m ready now.”

“Well, Lilith, then I’ll have to pull protocol on you. As head of the coven I forbid you to cast the spell. So, to be clear, if you cast the spell, you’ll be cast out of the coven and we’ll never speak to you again.”

“Well,” Lilith shrugged, “I guess I don’t have a choice. One month; I’ll give it just one more month.”

“That’s a good witch,” Mother said.

But Lilith had no intent to keep her word. She didn’t care if she was tossed out of the coven as long as she had her revenge.

So, on the evening of the full moon, she collected her candles and herbs, and went deep into the woods on the edge of town, then went about setting up the spell.

She performed the spell perfectly, John’s name written on dead leaves with blood from her left hand’s pinky slipped into the candle flame, and was quickly consumed.

It took 12 hours but the spell worked. The next day around noon, Lilith. positioned herself across the street from John’s office building and laughed with glee as she saw the 6 foot 2 inch former college quarterback running out of his office building, his business suit swallowing his now diminutive frame, which to be exact, was Lilith’s small frame. The spell had transformed John’s body into an exact replica of Lilith’s body.

She laughed. She laughed and laughed and laughed, and didn’t notice as it seemed the building next to her was growing taller. How could this be, she thought. Then she caught her reflection in the glass door of the bank. She had given so much of herself to the spell, so much of her time and mind to the act of revenge, that the spell had taken part of her with it.

Lilith was six inches tall.


OLD VERSION

Let’s be fair about. There’s a whole history book of why Lilith, not the one from the Bible but the one from W. Virginia, did what she did. A long list of lovers who used her, people who took what they wanted from her, and left her when she was most in need.

She was just about to end it all, when she pulled the hand holding the pills away from her mouth and shouted, “Oh, hell no!”

So, she found the head witch, the one her coven called Mother, and told Mother her story. Mother shook her head gently saying, “I’ve heard this all before. Once you start, there’s no going back; you know that, right?”

Lilith didn’t care. She was tired of two-timing SOBs, men too handsome for their own good, who know how to use a look like a snake stares down its prey. Revenge, she didn’t want justice, she wanted revenge; to make others suffer like she had suffered.

So Mother started Lilith’s training with easy things first, small incantations that turned mice into frogs, (there was no spell to the reverse), how to read tarot cards, and simple potions, like the truth elixir.

Lilith did well with all of it, but she became frustrated with the slow pace of her training, “Enough of this Mr. Miaghi shit, when do we get to the good stuff like bad luck spells?”

Mother pulled her glasses down to the tip of nose, “Patience, dear Lilith, it takes years of training to cast a bad luck spell without it splashing back on you.”

“What,” exlaimed Lilith, “years? I want to start doing damage now!”

“Oh, my, you just don’t understand. One of my former students, Arcadia, felt the same way. She cast a baldness spell on her ex-lover. The next day he was indeed bald, but, in turn, she had grown a beard down to her belly button. No razor nor shears could cut the facial hair. I think she’s working with a circus down in Texas now.”

”Well crap,” said Lilith. “Is there any spell I can cast on all the men who did me wrong? Anything, I don’t care how small it is; give them all jock itch or halitosis, something?”

Mother pulled up her glasses and said, “Well.”

That’s all Lilith needed to hear. That “well” was her salvation, her second baptism, she knew something good was coming.

“Yes, yes,” questioned Lilith.

“There is a spell that you can learn quickly, if you practice every day. It takes a while to learn, but you should be able to cast it within a month or so, if you’re careful.”

“I’m all in! What is it?”

“It can only be cast on someone who has no affection for you, so you have to be careful.”

“Really! That’s perfect! I only want revenge on the dirty bastards that left me. They have no love for me, so I’ll be safe.”

So Mother began teaching the seldom taught spell to Lilith. Lilith was a dedicated student, she read and practiced, watched and practiced, and practiced and practiced.

Within three weeks she thought she was ready, but Mother had reservations.

”I think you should work at it one more month. One more month should do it.”

”No, no, no,” Lilith protested, “I’m ready now.”

“Well, Lilith, then I’ll have to pull protocol on you. As head of the coven I forbid you to cast the spell. So, to be clear, if you cast the spell, you’ll be cast out of the coven and we’ll never speak to you again.”

“Well,” Lilith shrugged, “I guess I don’t have a choice. One month; I’ll give it just one more month.”

“That’s a good witch,” Mother said.

But Lilith had no intent to keep her word. She didn’t care if she was tossed out of the coven as long as she had her revenge.

So, on the evening of the full moon, she collected her candles and herbs, and went deep into the woods on the edge of town, then went about setting up the spell.

She performed the spell perfectly, the name of each of offenders written on dead leaves with blood from her left hand’s pinky, slipped into the candle flame, and was quickly consumed.

The spell worked. The next day each one of her former lovers work up to find they had the face and body of Lilith. The last lover was the one Lilith used to determine if the spell worked. She saw him running out of his office building, his business suit swallowing Lilith’s small frame, the eyes wide and crazed like prey being chased.

She laughed. She laughed and laughed and laughed, then she caught her reflection in the glass door of the bank on her side of the street. She had given so much of herself to the spell, so much of her time and mind and the spell took part of her body.

Lilith was six inches tall.
 
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Elle.

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Hi TexasPoet,

I enjoyed the story as a whole, and it flows well but I wanted more about how Lilith had been wronged. Also I was confused about Mother, either she is a "good" witch and she follows the rule of doing no harm and she would never teach Lilith a bad spell, or she is a bad witch and she would have no issues, teaching her dark spells, but she doesn't seem to follow any kind of moral code. Also if Lilith is part of a coven doesn't she already know basic magic and spells? I don't know I might be wrong as I am not a Wicca expert.

Personal opinion but the end could be stronger, I was expecting something darker and punchier.

I hope this helps and as usual feel free to use or ignore.
 

MiloMinderbinder

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I like the premise and I think the story mostly works. I have three issues.

1. I am going to echo Elle's comments about Mother. She seems rather wishy-washy, or not that concerned. On the one hand she tells Lilith not to pursue vengeance, but then Mother is perfectly willing to help Lilith in her revenge schemes.

2. I wonder about the timing. Lilith cast the spell at night. I am assuming John was OK when he woke up and went to work, if he looked like Lilith I doubt he'd head for the office. Why did it affect him and her the next morning.

3. Why didn't Mother warn Lilith of the physical consequences of casting the spell? If Lilith had waited a month as instructed would her outcome still be the same?
 

Elizabeth George's book Write Away