Life is a Scientific Method as an Ongoing Process (379 words)

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Elle.

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Little something I did as a writing exercise.



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I stand by the bedroom door, watching your tanned shoulders disappear under a crisp white shirt. Sensing my eyes on you, you turn around, offering me the smile that always melts my heart quicker than steel in nitric acid. I ache to pull that shirt along with your body into bed - an unscheduled change, a derailment of this evening's agreed field experiment, so I don't. I've made you a promise: no more hypothesis or predictions, tonight's the night for validation and confirmation.

"Don't be so worried, it'll be fine." Do you read my thoughts in the pull of my brow, or do you just know me so well? "Now, stop looking at me like you're starving and I'm dinner and get ready." Just know me so well.

"Yes, boss." I smile.

Parking is a nightmare as usual, but I'm glad for this little delay of the inevitable. I will take all I can get. You're walking slightly ahead, the hand not holding the bottle of wine, pulling me along. I stay silent, busy running simulations in my head on how the evening might unfold. But there are too many unknown variables, and missing data for an accurate set of likely outcomes. So engrossed in simulations and thought experiments, I almost miss the next critical step: the front door.

"You're going to have to open this if you want us to get in." You laugh.

Inside, we are immediately greeted by the scent of warm custard and cinnamon - the smells of my childhood.

"Hello." I send the word out, a search party looking for signs of life.

It works, and the natives come out to welcome us. The critical event is looming now, my body buzzing like an accelerator full of subatomic particles colliding. I'm Schrödinger about to open the box: two possibilities reduced to one reality. In that moment, your fingers lace with mine, your hand giving me a "don't-worry-it'll-be-fine-I-promise" squeeze. The scariest thing in my life isn't so insurmountable with you by my side.

"Hello Hannah. How's my favourite undergrad?"

"Good, mum."

"Who is this you're bringing then, darling?" mum asks, wiping her hands on a tea towel as dad joins us.

Incoming new data to test predictions. "Mum, dad, I would like to introduce to you, Sophie, my girlfriend."
 

TexasPoet

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I like the story....consider changing the title....the scientific method requires a control and I don’t see one in the story.

Might be my nerdicity shining through, though.

tp
 
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Hedwig

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Hi Elle,

This is really cool! I love the scientific language in relation to this scary life event.

I should say that there were two times I got disoriented, I think:

1. "Yes, boss." I thought maybe the MC was literally sleeping with their boss. Even if that is true, it's distracting, and I would recommend changing the language.
2. Schrodinger's box. This is probably all my fault, but I can't remember what Schrodinger did, so I was pulled out of the story trying to remember.

Overall, this was a wonderfully tight little story.
 

Elle.

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Hi Hedwig,

Thanks for your feedback. Haha... I did not think how the boss could be misconstrued!

Sounds like I need to rethink the title, just to explain the logic: a scientific method as an ongoing process is all about making observation, raising hypothesis, running experiments to test those hypothesis and then refine, expand or reject and then start the cycle all over again, which is how Hannah treats life and that evening.

The other option was Life Isn't An Exact Science but I thought it was too corny... Back to the drawing board I guess.
 

maxfisherb

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Wow Elle! I am a biology teacher and pre-dental student, so I think it goes without saying that I loved the language used in this story. I have a question, though. Why was the narrator looking at Sophie from the bedroom, but also in the car with her. I was confused, but it could just be me or maybe I missed something. Other than that- OH MY GOD SO GOOD!!!!

I would also consider changing your title. Possibly something along the lines of "The Introduction of a Foreign Reagent" or "Increasing Entropy in a Foreign Environment". Just some thoughts, but great work!!
 

Elle.

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Thanks maxfisherb! I'm glad you like the imagery and the use of science. She is looking at Sophie getting ready in the bedroom, but they are nothing about them in the car. The first scene is the bedroom and the next scene starts after they parked the car, and they are waking down the street. I hope this helps. Yes, I have taken people's suggestion onboard and the title has been changed.
 

fenyo

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nice story Elle. I liked it.
but the surprise is very short lived. only in the third line before last we find out that the speaker is Hannah, and have expectation accordingly.
I think it can come much sooner.
 

Elizabeth George's book Write Away