Prologue
Thanks for your comments Jim.
jerir12
Actually, Jeri, I didn't answer your question.
Knowing only what I know from what you've posted here:
One concern I have is whether the prologue gives away too much of the story.
The prologue (literally "before the word") has been used, mostly in drama, to explain what's coming, and at the same time give people time to get back from the candy counter, find their seats, sit down, and shut up.
You find prologues in movies and TV shows: those segments of action before the opening titles. These can be badly done: the voiceover in <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0780622553/ref=nosim/madhousemanor" target="_new">
Dark City</a> is an example.
They can be well done. The opening narration in <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00003CWT6/ref=nosim/madhousemanor" target="_new">
The Fellowship of the Ring</a> (material that Tolkien wisely put in the Council of Elrond chapter, nearly half-way through the first volume, after the readers were engaged and cared about the information) is an example of a sucessful prologue.
Let's look at a couple of other prologues:
From <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/6305364613/ref=nosim/madhousemanor/" target="_new">Romeo And Juliet</a> by William Shakespeare:
<blockquote>
<hr>
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
<hr>
</blockquote>
Now from <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00018D3PU/ref=nosim/madhousemanor" target="_new">
Dr. Faustus</a> by Christopher Marlowe:
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<HR>
Not marching in the fields of Trasimene
Where Mars did mate the warlike Carthagens,
Nor sporting in the dalliance of love
In Courts of Kings where state is overturned,
Nor in the pomp of proud audacious deeds
Intends our Muse to vaunt his heavenly verse.
Only this, Gentles: we must now perform
The form of Faustus' fortunes, good or bad.
And now to patient judgments we appeal,
And speak for Faustus in his infancy.
Now is he born, of parents base of stock,
In Germany, within a Town called Rhodes.
At riper years to Wittenberg he went,
Whereas his kinsmen chiefly brought him up.
So much he profits in Divinity,
The fruitful plot of Scholarism graced,
That shortly he was graced with Doctor's name,
Excelling all, and sweetly can dispute
In th' heavenly matters of Theology,
Till swoll'n with cunning of a self-conceit,
His waxen wings did mount above his reach,
And melting, heavens conspired his overthrow;
For, falling to a devilish exercise
And glutted now with learning's golden gifts,
He surfeits upon cursed Necromancy.
Nothing so sweet as Magic is to him,
Which he prefers before his chiefest bliss;
And this the man that in his study sits.
<HR>
</blockquote>
Notice several things: First, that they are
dispensable, second, that they are
brief, and third, that they are
self-contained.
So .... Jerir ... tell me about your prologue? Is it dispensable, brief, and self-contained? If it is, then make it a prologue indeed. If not, try it as chapter one, with a particularly long time interval between chapters one and two. See how that reads.
If the rest of the story-telling is strong enough, you'll have an editor who has read your work to comment on the appropriateness of your prologue. If the rest of the writing isn't strong enough, it won't matter.
And... please yourself. Pleasing yourself is a big part of the art of writing.
