I'm taking a creative writing course, which included a session on dialogue. Hence the form of this. I'm hoping this is sufficiently polished. I edited a few things while I posted it, and now it's 414 words. Feedback of any sort is welcome.
“I can’t believe she left without filling my water bowl. We just went on a walk. What’s she thinking about?” Abbie walked over to the couch and poked her nose in Jackson’s middle.
“Jackson. Jackson. Wake up.”
“What? What? I’m awake. I was awake.”
“We went for a walk. Then she just left without filling my water bowl. There’s no water in any of the bowls.”
“Well what do you want me to do about it?” Jackson stretched out his back leg and licked the fur. He started to turn around as if he would go back to sleep.
“Go out to the kitchen. There’s a water pitcher on the counter. It’s full of water.”
“And so?
“Come on Jackson. Help me out here.”
“I’m listening.”
“I’ll let you hang from my jowls again.”
“No. That was a one-time thing.”
“You can have some of my kibbles at dinner.”
“No. They are not all that tasty.” Jackson sat up with his tail wrapped around his feet. “You’re going to have to give me something better than that if you want that water.”
Abbie wandered over to the kitchen. She looked at the pitcher. She looked over her shoulder, bending her neck into a half circle. She turned around, tail down. She sat. “Ok. You can play with my tail.”
“Now you’re talking.” Jackson leaped off the couch.
Abbie stood and tucked her tail between her legs. “Not until after the water. No tail until I get that water. I’m serious, Jackson.”
Jackson leaped to the dining room table and from there to the breakfast bar around the sink. He jumped onto the counter and circled around the water pitcher. He got behind the pitcher and gave it a shove with his paw. Nothing. He stood up and leaned into the pitcher. Pleased with the effect, he leaned some more, and it moved closer to the edge of the counter. One more push, with some muscle behind it. “There you go, Abbie. Drink up and deliver.”
When I got back from the doctor’s office, I walked into the kitchen to make lunch only to find the water pitcher on the floor. The lid was over by the laundry room. The filtering basin was by the sink. “That’s odd,” I said to myself. “Where’s all the water?”
“I can’t believe she left without filling my water bowl. We just went on a walk. What’s she thinking about?” Abbie walked over to the couch and poked her nose in Jackson’s middle.
“Jackson. Jackson. Wake up.”
“What? What? I’m awake. I was awake.”
“We went for a walk. Then she just left without filling my water bowl. There’s no water in any of the bowls.”
“Well what do you want me to do about it?” Jackson stretched out his back leg and licked the fur. He started to turn around as if he would go back to sleep.
“Go out to the kitchen. There’s a water pitcher on the counter. It’s full of water.”
“And so?
“Come on Jackson. Help me out here.”
“I’m listening.”
“I’ll let you hang from my jowls again.”
“No. That was a one-time thing.”
“You can have some of my kibbles at dinner.”
“No. They are not all that tasty.” Jackson sat up with his tail wrapped around his feet. “You’re going to have to give me something better than that if you want that water.”
Abbie wandered over to the kitchen. She looked at the pitcher. She looked over her shoulder, bending her neck into a half circle. She turned around, tail down. She sat. “Ok. You can play with my tail.”
“Now you’re talking.” Jackson leaped off the couch.
Abbie stood and tucked her tail between her legs. “Not until after the water. No tail until I get that water. I’m serious, Jackson.”
Jackson leaped to the dining room table and from there to the breakfast bar around the sink. He jumped onto the counter and circled around the water pitcher. He got behind the pitcher and gave it a shove with his paw. Nothing. He stood up and leaned into the pitcher. Pleased with the effect, he leaned some more, and it moved closer to the edge of the counter. One more push, with some muscle behind it. “There you go, Abbie. Drink up and deliver.”
When I got back from the doctor’s office, I walked into the kitchen to make lunch only to find the water pitcher on the floor. The lid was over by the laundry room. The filtering basin was by the sink. “That’s odd,” I said to myself. “Where’s all the water?”
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