- Joined
- Dec 13, 2011
- Messages
- 1,100
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- The Pen Name Section
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- leovaughn.com
Hi all,
I got a lovely R&R from a Big Agent in SFF. (Someone I really admire, who I pitched at a conference and who requested the full eventually.)
I know it's my responsibility to interpret this as it applies to specific aspects of the MS. I guess I'd just like to take the temperature of the room. Is this R&R... warm? Lukewarm? Just eh about the book?
All thoughts appreciated. Thank you!
--
Dear George,
Thank you for sending me the full for TITLE. This is one of those difficult letters to write, because you are so talented. I know I’ll be hearing your name in the future. Unfortunately, I felt that the pacing here was uneven, and I don’t know if it’s the story or if this is a draft or a few drafts away, but, unfortunately, I wasn’t sufficiently enthusiastic to feel that I’d be the right agent for the book as it stands.
I love your unique magic, which you describe so well, and the scene where CHARACTER’s body loses its integrity and then… It’s so horrific and visceral and visual. Really, it’s pitch perfect.
But then in Chapter 3 [pp. 20-36], I was confused that [plot point... or lack thereof] and it took five days for THE BAD GUYS to do anything. Nobody’s reactions seem quite in keeping with what happened. On page 50, CHARACTER worries about being arrested, and OTHER CHARACTER says, “If they were going to arrest you, they could do it any time,” but I’d been wondering – why didn’t they? If she’s so potentially dangerous, why leave her free unless they plan to pin something else on her? I’m wondering whether it makes sense for THE BAD GUYS or for the plot? Have you mapped things out from their perspective so that you can make this all very real?
If you decide to redo this so that it has all the complexity and pacing it needs for the pages to really turn, I’d be glad to take another look. That said, this is a very subjective business, and it may very well be that another agent will view your work with all the enthusiasm it deserves. Either way, I wish you all the best.
I got a lovely R&R from a Big Agent in SFF. (Someone I really admire, who I pitched at a conference and who requested the full eventually.)
I know it's my responsibility to interpret this as it applies to specific aspects of the MS. I guess I'd just like to take the temperature of the room. Is this R&R... warm? Lukewarm? Just eh about the book?
All thoughts appreciated. Thank you!
--
Dear George,
Thank you for sending me the full for TITLE. This is one of those difficult letters to write, because you are so talented. I know I’ll be hearing your name in the future. Unfortunately, I felt that the pacing here was uneven, and I don’t know if it’s the story or if this is a draft or a few drafts away, but, unfortunately, I wasn’t sufficiently enthusiastic to feel that I’d be the right agent for the book as it stands.
I love your unique magic, which you describe so well, and the scene where CHARACTER’s body loses its integrity and then… It’s so horrific and visceral and visual. Really, it’s pitch perfect.
But then in Chapter 3 [pp. 20-36], I was confused that [plot point... or lack thereof] and it took five days for THE BAD GUYS to do anything. Nobody’s reactions seem quite in keeping with what happened. On page 50, CHARACTER worries about being arrested, and OTHER CHARACTER says, “If they were going to arrest you, they could do it any time,” but I’d been wondering – why didn’t they? If she’s so potentially dangerous, why leave her free unless they plan to pin something else on her? I’m wondering whether it makes sense for THE BAD GUYS or for the plot? Have you mapped things out from their perspective so that you can make this all very real?
If you decide to redo this so that it has all the complexity and pacing it needs for the pages to really turn, I’d be glad to take another look. That said, this is a very subjective business, and it may very well be that another agent will view your work with all the enthusiasm it deserves. Either way, I wish you all the best.