Indigenous sensitivity reader for YA high fantasy

[NicoleAisling]

One of the main groups in my high fantasy novel bears some parallels with indigenous cultures. I was hoping to find an indigenous person (or more than one) who would be willing to read through some parts and maybe answer a few questions to make sure there's nothing offensive or problematic.

Title: The Sound of Nothing
Genre: YA High Fantasy
WC: 97k
Blurb:
In the peaceful and secluded Konota Valley, every 16-year-old must embark on a sacred journey to find their animal soul keeper. The life-long bond protects their soul from malicious demons that would devour it, leaving behind an empty husk.

As the mostly ignored misfit, Shaya has always felt isolated within her own tribe, but she hopes finding her keeper will also help her find a purpose. Instead, her return with a bizarre and frightening beast only leaves her more confused. She soon learns her keeper is a drakon, a legendary creature from the northern mountains, but that knowledge does nothing to win her the acceptance she longs for.

When drakon riders invade the valley, Shaya’s people begin to question her loyalty. The invaders might offer what she’s always wanted, but she must decide whether finally belonging is worth betraying the few people who still believe in her.

 

[Brigid Barry]

Indigenous to where? Big difference between the indigenous people of the Phillippines, Australia, and the United States. Within the United states I could probably name ten different tribes with their own unique cultures without even trying, which are then broken down into bands.

So specifically what are you looking for?

 

[Meg]

I will try to be gentle, but there are some home truths that need to be said.

There is no way to write the story you describe without being offensive. You can't fix a few things to make this okay—this is a scrap-and-redo at the deepest level. Either that, or get clear within yourself that this is the story you want to tell regardless of whether it is offensive.

Why am I so certain? Because everything you describe is a stereotype that has been used endlessly by white people who are appropriating, oversimplifying, and distorting indigenous cultures. What you are describing doesn't "bear some parallels with indigenous cultures," it bears some parallels with $H!† white people have made up.

I am not faulting you for not knowing what you don't know, and I'm not blaming you for creating those stereotypes. You and I exist in a culture where we are absolutely soaked in this misinformation, to the point where we can't even see it.

What you are trying to do is the equivalent of trying to invent a Japanese-inspired culture, with only Gilbert & Sullivan's Mikado as a source. That's not an exaggeration, that really is the level of ignorance of most white Americans regarding North American Indigenous cultures.

To invent a fantasy culture that draws on aspects of other cultures for inspiration, you need to actually learn about those cultures. Read books by Indigenous authors that are about Indigenous characters. Read up on Native American history and current events. (There are 573 federally recognized tribal governments in the U.S. alone, and that's an underestimate of the number of cultures, so there is a lot to learn.) Follow Indigenous activists, creators, and entertainers on social media. Get a feel for the values, the art, the sense of humor, the emotional landscape. Read what Indigenous writers think of white attempts to write their cultures.

If you do go ahead and hire a sensitivity reader, pay them handsomely. You are asking them to give you a multi-year education in the form of comments on your book.

I know that all this might put you on the defensive, but I really am trying to reach out and connect, not just criticize. I hope that you take it in the spirit that it's intended, and start the journey of learning about this stuff. (It is a long journey.)

 

[Bitterboots]

One of the main groups in my high fantasy novel bears some parallels with indigenous cultures. I was hoping to find an indigenous person (or more than one) who would be willing to read through some parts and maybe answer a few questions to make sure there's nothing offensive or problematic.

Title: The Sound of Nothing
Genre: YA High Fantasy
WC: 97k
Blurb:
In the peaceful and secluded Konota Valley, every 16-year-old must embark on a sacred journey to find their animal soul keeper. The life-long bond protects their soul from malicious demons that would devour it, leaving behind an empty husk.

As the mostly ignored misfit, Shaya has always felt isolated within her own tribe, but she hopes finding her keeper will also help her find a purpose. Instead, her return with a bizarre and frightening beast only leaves her more confused. She soon learns her keeper is a drakon, a legendary creature from the northern mountains, but that knowledge does nothing to win her the acceptance she longs for.

When drakon riders invade the valley, Shaya’s people begin to question her loyalty. The invaders might offer what she’s always wanted, but she must decide whether finally belonging is worth betraying the few people who still believe in her.

I know this has been answered already but this also sound very much like Clan of the Cave Bear. You could couch your tribe as more in line with ancient peoples rather than recent/current indigenous populations. If it's a fantasy world make it as far from reality as you can so there can be no comparison with any recognizable world cultures.

 

[Marian Perera]

I know this has been answered already but this also sound very much like Clan of the Cave Bear.

Or The Golden Compass, with each person being linked for life to an animal of some sort. But the "teenager out of place in her society" part seems much more Clan of the Cave Bear.