How risky is 2nd person POV really?

[Little Anonymous Me]

The 'you' isn't supposed to be 'you' the reader. The 'you' MC is a young man who's working a night shift behind the hotel bar, and an unpleasant, creepy regular customer comes in, and he has to deal with him. I'm using second person to try to achieve a sleepy, trapped feeling. I want to make the reader feel like they're stuck there with the bartender. It's kind of claustrophobic.

Joe Goldberg has entered the chat.

But seriously, it sounds great for the type and length of story you're writing, and I am iffy on second person as a rule.

 

[RichardGarfinkle]

2nd Person is a tricky bit because there are, in effect, two different 2nd Person modes of writing.
1. Talking to the reader, whoever they are.
2. Talking to a specific character who the reader comes to know as the story unfolds.

The first mode is where most of the pitfalls lie. If you tell the reader what their reactions or attitudes are (however you tell them) the reader can react against that directly.

The second mode is fine if you can pull it off, it can even give you opportunities to unfold the events of the story in ways that surprise or impact in ways that neither 1st nor the various 3rds do as well.

 

[KennyIsArlos]

But I don't want to fail Another option is to leave this story until the second assignment, when I've got more courage up, and hand in something more usual this time.

Yeah, that's what I'm going for. The 'you' isn't supposed to be 'you' the reader. The 'you' MC is a young man who's working a night shift behind the hotel bar, and an unpleasant, creepy regular customer comes in, and he has to deal with him. I'm using second person to try to achieve a sleepy, trapped feeling. I want to make the reader feel like they're stuck there with the bartender. It's kind of claustrophobic.

You've probably handed in the assignment already, but in case you haven't, I want to let you know that this idea sounds awesome and you should totally go through with it. 2nd person is really cool when it's done right because you can have the personality quirks of narration that comes with 1st person, depending on who the narrator is, as well as the objective omniscience that may pair well with 3rd person.

It's an interesting sight to behold when you experience a good 2nd person story, because you feel things in ways that you normally wouldn't. It's almost scandalous because the protagonist doesn't know that you're reading a story about them, if that makes sense, because they're not telling it themselves.

Please go for it!

 

[Jazz Club]

You've probably handed in the assignment already, but in case you haven't, I want to let you know that this idea sounds awesome and you should totally go through with it. 2nd person is really cool when it's done right because you can have the personality quirks of narration that comes with 1st person, depending on who the narrator is, as well as the objective omniscience that may pair well with 3rd person.

It's an interesting sight to behold when you experience a good 2nd person story, because you feel things in ways that you normally wouldn't. It's almost scandalous because the protagonist doesn't know that you're reading a story about them, if that makes sense, because they're not telling it themselves.

Please go for it!

Thanks for the advice I haven't handed it in yet – it isn't due until the 27th of October. I've also just discovered that the second assignment is to adapt the same story for stage, radio play, or film, so I suppose that complicates things too. I need to hand in something that's easy to adapt.

Last night I started another story that might be a better fit (I'm starting to worry that the 2nd person one could be a little dark anyway). I'm glad that there's so much support for 2nd person in general, though. I was kind of expecting everyone to say 'ugh, no! I hate second person!'. If I don't go for it, it'll probably be because of the content, not the POV.

 

[BradRux]

2nd Person is a tricky bit because there are, in effect, two different 2nd Person modes of writing.
1. Talking to the reader, whoever they are.
2. Talking to a specific character who the reader comes to know as the story unfolds.

The first mode is where most of the pitfalls lie. If you tell the reader what their reactions or attitudes are (however you tell them) the reader can react against that directly.

The second mode is fine if you can pull it off, it can even give you opportunities to unfold the events of the story in ways that surprise or impact in ways that neither 1st nor the various 3rds do as well.

I think option 1. suits a certain kind of narrative. Its definitely a style that has fallen out of fashion.
Alot of old books (Frankenstein, The Screwtape Letter, Flowers for Algernon, gothic books of 19th Century) are written as letters addressed to the reader. I feel like it lends them a tone that you don't get in 3rd person which is currently the most popular style
But defs agree - difficult to pull off but might be worth it just to try something new

 

[RichardGarfinkle]

I think option 1. suits a certain kind of narrative. Its definitely a style that has fallen out of fashion.
Alot of old books (Frankenstein, The Screwtape Letter, Flowers for Algernon, gothic books of 19th Century) are written as letters addressed to the reader. I feel like it lends them a tone that you don't get in 3rd person which is currently the most popular style
But defs agree - difficult to pull off but might be worth it just to try something new

Screwtape Letters is option 2 since they’re addressed to Wormwood who is a major character in the narrative, but otherwise yes.

 

[KennyIsArlos]

Thanks for the advice I haven't handed it in yet – it isn't due until the 27th of October. I've also just discovered that the second assignment is to adapt the same story for stage, radio play, or film, so I suppose that complicates things too. I need to hand in something that's easy to adapt.

Last night I started another story that might be a better fit (I'm starting to worry that the 2nd person one could be a little dark anyway). I'm glad that there's so much support for 2nd person in general, though. I was kind of expecting everyone to say 'ugh, no! I hate second person!'. If I don't go for it, it'll probably be because of the content, not the POV.

Ooooo def let me know what you're planning for the story you just started! Also dark stories are VERY cool when they're done well, but not when it's corny obviously. I also happen to have something due on the 27th that's a Halloween-themed short film, and I'm going the risky route of suspense/tension instead of humor (the audience is Twitch chat, so they'll laugh at possibly anything).

Since you need to make the assignment into a script, I'd love to help you out if you want. Even a radio script too, sounds like it could be awesome! We can make it super dark if you want. :3

Sorry for the late reply btw, I didn't check my notifications over the early weekend.

 

[Jazz Club]

Ooooo def let me know what you're planning for the story you just started!

It's a sci-fi thing where two guys are locked outside the settlement at night on this hostile planet. One guy has always had romantic feelings for the other but was too shy to tell him. It's really hard to get it under 1500 words

Also dark stories are VERY cool when they're done well, but not when it's corny obviously. I also happen to have something due on the 27th that's a Halloween-themed short film, and I'm going the risky route of suspense/tension instead of humor (the audience is Twitch chat, so they'll laugh at possibly anything).

Sounds very cool! Hopefully you get a great reception! Best of luck with it.

Since you need to make the assignment into a script, I'd love to help you out if you want. Even a radio script too, sounds like it could be awesome! We can make it super dark if you want. :3

I really appreciate the offer, but I think it has to be all my own work, unfortunately.

 

[KennyIsArlos]

It's a sci-fi thing where two guys are locked outside the settlement at night on this hostile planet. One guy has always had romantic feelings for the other but was too shy to tell him. It's really hard to get it under 1500 words

Sounds very cool! Hopefully you get a great reception! Best of luck with it.

I really appreciate the offer, but I think it has to be all my own work, unfortunately.

Ooooo it comes off as a heart-wrenchingly beautiful story, but since you describe it as dark, does it end tragically??? Ugh I have to know before I get invested in characters I don't even know the names of! That idea sounds amazing, but I still think your original idea is just as good, just in a different genre. You should definitely go for whichever one you feel more confident about.

No worries, I totally understand! If you ever need someone to look it over, though, hit me up; it sounds right up my alley.

And possibly a third option for a cool 2nd person POV, if you can't decide between the first two: a serial killer is stalking his next victim through her window, describing everything she does before he moves in for the kill. Really violating her personal life to the reader, kind of thing. Very creepy! :3 I got the inspiration for the idea from Stalker by Lars Kepler.

 

[Helix]

I'd imagine creative writing professors have seen a lot of voyeuristic serial killer stories.

 

[Jazz Club]

Ooooo it comes off as a heart-wrenchingly beautiful story, but since you describe it as dark, does it end tragically??? Ugh I have to know before I get invested in characters I don't even know the names of! That idea sounds amazing, but I still think your original idea is just as good, just in a different genre. You should definitely go for whichever one you feel more confident about.

No sorry, I was a bit unclear there. The second (sci-fi) idea isn't dark at all. It actually has a happy ending. The implication is that our guys manage to get to safety, though I don't have time to show them doing so in the short word count! The first idea was a bit darker, but still nothing to do with serial killers.

 

[Harlequin]

M next novel will be in 50% second person, and I'm agented / with Tor fwiw.

Second is relatively common in litfic and comes and goes in other genres.

I do believe that you must always consider narrator motivation when writing it though. Who are they and why are they telling this story?

 

[LuciusW]

My Historical Fantasy WiP is 1/3 in 2nd person. Within the story, it makes sense. It's a character telling another what her story's feels like. It could be an experience the 2nd character could experience herself. Going a bit wild with POV, but shucks. One has to be bold.

 

[gtanders]

N. K. Jemisin did it quite well in The Fifth Season.

Whether it's SYW here or private crits, I would find some seasoned readers/writers to take a look. It's the kind of thing that might work for some folks and distract others.

 

[Al X.]

For such a short piece, second person should be a piece of cake. You are telling a story to your reader, directly, like you are talking to them. Well, in a monologue. It's a little bit harder to pull off in a full length novel.

Regarding the second case, it works fine in television and movie screenplays. Transitioning between second and third person can be a bit challenging in print novels but there are ways to pull it off. Segregate your scenes (or chapters, even.)