The one thing I've learned about rejection is that nobody knows how they're going to handle it until it happens, and for most of us that means being blindsided by a set of emotions we're not always equipped to deal with.
Me, I got a golden ticket, and everything after that was disaster. It broke me in ways I literally would not have believed I could be broken. I am not the same person I was.
If you feel comfortable, I would love to hear the story. (I looked a little at your history but didn't see it.) This is something I feel like no one tells you about (corny, I know) reaching for your dreams.
[/QUOTE]I am still writing. I don't always know why. [/QUOTE]
I'm glad. (I know we don' t know each other. But I'm glad the experience didn't stop you from writing.)
[/QUOTE]As for ways to cope? My own experience only, so take with salt:
- They say it gets easier with repetition, and I think that's not really true, but you do learn how you're going to respond, and what emotional repercussions you're going to face. Plan for it, and be kind to yourself. Trust you'll come out the other side. Find help if you need it.
- Have all your Query Stuff assembled: pages (5, 10, 30, 50), synopsis (you don't want to have to write a synopsis for a book after you've already received a pack of Rs; trust me on this), query letter. Do
all your agent research before you start. When you get an R, ship your package off to the next agent. There's a lot to be said for "just keep swimming."
- One big disconnect between writing and publishing is that writing is a deeply personal act of artistic creation, and publishing is a capitalistic international industry. No matter how lovely your work, no matter how much an agent or an editor might love it, the final decision is going to come down to whether or not they think they can sell it, and how well. The beauty and accomplishment of your art may be entirely irrelevant. (Some people may find that disheartening; I sometimes find it a thread of hope.)
- Relevant to the current times: a cursory Google shows the world's biggest English-language book markets are the US and the UK, the two countries doing the worst job of handling the pandemic. I've had folks tell me "no, of course it's not affecting publishing!" and then tell me "wow, I looked at my calendar and had no idea two weeks had passed." It's affecting people. Of course it is. Response times will be slower, people will make mistakes and lose subs, temperaments will be strange and frayed. It helps me, sometimes, to externalize the issue: it's not me, it's them.
I think, fundamentally, the most important thing is to have writing goals beyond "publish this one book," preferably writing goals that have nothing at all to do with publishing. That's not easy - most of us tell stories because we want to tell them to someone else. For me, sometimes telling them to myself is enough, and that's what I hang on to. [/QUOTE]
Oh man. All great advice that I will do my absolute best to follow. I've given myself two more weeks to finish researching agents (I already have a sizable list) and then I'll tackle my synopsis. I'm going to post my query here soon as well. I'm polishing my manuscript and getting one more set of eyes on it before I finish. It's intimidating but getting prepared seems to be helping.
It's hard to think of going all through this to possibly (probably??) not get an agent and publisher. But there's actually a long history of failed creative pursuits in my family and if I get an agent, I'll have gotten farther than anyone else. That said, I know even getting an agent might be impossible. I probably have to do some soul searching now about what to do if I query 100 agents and get no bites. I don't know if writing for myself can be enough. But we'll see.
Thanks.
ETA: Apparently, I don't know how to quote multiple sections in a reply. Sorry for the wonky formatting.