Gardening Advice

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Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

mccardey

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Drunk-pruning. Don’t. It’s - not working as well as you think it is.
 

Albedo

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Oh Dear. Make sure they sew your fingers back on the right way around. It'd be awkward if they all bent the other way.
 

mccardey

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Oh no - it’s not that. It’s just that the bay tree in my veggie patch looks a bit - phallic. It’s because I’m short. I’ll see if I can catch a passing rabbi to sort it out...
 

mccardey

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It’s just because I was a bit drunk. You can be drunk, you can be short or you can prune. But apparently you can’t do all of them.
 

frimble3

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Like Albedo, my first thought was for your fingers, then for your eyes.
The tree will grow back. There is a saying 'to flourish like a green bay tree'.
When I think of a 'phallic' tree, I think tall and skinny, like a cypress.
What did you do to this tree - cut off all the branches except a little flourish on the top? Or just narrow it generally?
In any case, if the look of it worries you, it's Christmas down there, as well, isn't it? Buy a long length of nice-looking garland, and wrap the tree like a green candy cane - at least it will look like you intended to be decorative. Or, that you've been drinking.:ROFL:
 

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