Friendly Kindness Pays Off

[Maryn]

We weren't done unpacking from our move when COVID arrived, so I have no roots in my new city, literally no friends. Luckily, I'm all right with my own company and my online friends. (Hi, everybody!) When I shop for necessities, I usually take a moment to make a little joke, ask an employee how their day's going, not a big effort. It's as much me hungering for human interaction as being nice and recognizing the employees as people, although I've long done that.

So the grocery store has a decent fish counter. A few weeks ago, the older guy who works there remarked that he starts smiling when he sees me coming, because he knows he'll be smiling by the time I leave and he might as well get started. Which was a very nice thing to say, yes?

Today, another employee helped me as we chatted about how their take-a-number system is broken again. No big deal. I asked for three-quarters of a pound of shrimp, and he weighed it, printed the label, and threw in a bunch more. "Wait, I only need three-quarters of a pound."

"Yeah, but you're always nice, so I put in a little bonus."

"Oh. Ah, thank you."

"What else can I get you?"

I told him and even pointed to the pieces of fish I wanted. It's $15.99 a pound, kind of an indulgence, but we don't go out to eat, so this is our fancy dinner. I noticed that he rang it up at $13.99 a pound. "I think you entered the price wrong."

"I think these pieces are still mostly frozen, and ice crystals weigh something. Discount seems about right."

I thanked him again, said I'd see him next time, end of transaction--that saved me about six bucks.

Maryn, wondering how nice she has to be before the guy starts giving her free fish

 

[CMBright]

</snip>

Maryn, wondering how nice she has to be before the guy starts giving her free fish

Congrats on the economic windfall resulting from kindness. Given the subforum I notice you on most often, I'll try to get my mind back up on the sidewalk.

Either I don't say anything or I tend to be nice when interacting with employees. It's just polite. Even when I'm too stressed/annoyed to be nice, I make the effort to be civil to polite.

 

[LucindaLynx]

I'm glad you had such a great experience.

 

[Fi Webster]

When I shop for necessities, I usually take a moment to make a little joke, ask an employee how their day's going, not a big effort. It's as much me hungering for human interaction as being nice and recognizing the employees as people, although I've long done that.

I, too, hunger for human interaction at times, and I find that strangers—like clerks and other employees of stores—are a great way to get it. It's easy to keep the exchange warm and lighthearted with people you only see in that context. And yet it's also an interesting challenge: should you comment on the weather? ask them about their day? mention the latest game by a local sports team?

I used to haunt drugstores a lot, back when they had big magazine racks and sold paperback horror fiction. I'd wander the aisles for a while, amused by the holiday displays or whatever odd things they were selling, then buy a book or a mag, something sweet, and something to drink. I remember one drugstore clerk who was obviously an immigrant from India, so I asked her what state, and correctly guessed her mother tongue was Malayalam. Then I made a point of learning a few new words in Malayalam each time before I went there, and got her to teach me a few more. Much fun!

These days, I get my kicks from taking my handmade postcards and other mail art to the post office to be hand-cancelled. I get to wait in line with other people who may be struggling to finish taping up their packages and can use some help. Waiting in line is underrated, in my opinion, as a mode of relaxation and casual social interaction. The clerks are amused by my vintage stamps and artistamps (faux postage) and get to go chunk-chunk-chunk with the big round date stamp in a way that pleases them aesthetically. And I have the satisfaction of knowing that my frequent presence in the line and at the counter is supporting their continued employment.

 

[SWest]

As a day-long guest at many retailers over the years, I have a certain fly-on-the-wall point of view.

Few and far between: customers who are genuine, present, respectful, empathetic, appreciative, all that pro-social jazz.

Westie, imagining how many people got a bit of thumb in their orders that afternoon...

 

[Maryn]

It happened again! I went to the fish counter at the grocery store. The guy working served me right away. While he did, I asked how his day was going. He'd been working fifteen hours after two people called in sick and hoped to go home in two more hours. I made a little joke about how inconvenient it must be, that chain around his ankle, but making the Big Money was worth it.

After he wrapped my purchase, he took it to a back room and put a sticker on it making it free. Saved me $14, for being pleasant.

Maryn, impressed

 

[ElaineB]

I love this story but a little part of me is worried he'll get in trouble. I can't imagine a chain store allowing this.

I called my fish guy Surly Guy. Not very imaginative, but accurate. He hasn't been there lately so maybe he found something less surly to do.

 

[Maryn]

It's an official store-issued sticker that says the product is free and has a place for his signature and checkboxes for the reason. One of them is Just Because. Others are slowness, made a mistake, quality not acceptable, like that.

Not everybody at Fish is great, for the record. I once had to instruct an employee that a third of a pound is not 0.66 pounds. She argued, that sure she was right.

 

[Leigh KC]

Nice ‘catch’!

 

[MoronicArts]

We weren't done unpacking from our move when COVID arrived, so I have no roots in my new city, literally no friends. Luckily, I'm all right with my own company and my online friends. (Hi, everybody!) When I shop for necessities, I usually take a moment to make a little joke, ask an employee how their day's going, not a big effort. It's as much me hungering for human interaction as being nice and recognizing the employees as people, although I've long done that.

So the grocery store has a decent fish counter. A few weeks ago, the older guy who works there remarked that he starts smiling when he sees me coming, because he knows he'll be smiling by the time I leave and he might as well get started. Which was a very nice thing to say, yes?

Today, another employee helped me as we chatted about how their take-a-number system is broken again. No big deal. I asked for three-quarters of a pound of shrimp, and he weighed it, printed the label, and threw in a bunch more. "Wait, I only need three-quarters of a pound."

"Yeah, but you're always nice, so I put in a little bonus."

"Oh. Ah, thank you."

"What else can I get you?"

I told him and even pointed to the pieces of fish I wanted. It's $15.99 a pound, kind of an indulgence, but we don't go out to eat, so this is our fancy dinner. I noticed that he rang it up at $13.99 a pound. "I think you entered the price wrong."

"I think these pieces are still mostly frozen, and ice crystals weigh something. Discount seems about right."

I thanked him again, said I'd see him next time, end of transaction--that saved me about six bucks.

Maryn, wondering how nice she has to be before the guy starts giving her free fish

That was really kind of him. I feel funny when people give me breaks on stuff. Sometimes I will say "Did you ring up X" at a cafe and they will say "it's OK." I don't want the other customers finding out I got a break, however being neurodiverse, I don't always catch the subtleties straight away.

 

[Maryn]

Today I was at Goodwill (a thrift store) that had one cash register open when there should have been two, a line several people long the whole time I was there.

When it was my turn at last, I did my usual. How's your day going, looks like you've barely had time to breathe, that sort of thing. And she started to cry, because people had been nothing but impatient and unkind, several yelling at her for asking if they wanted to round up their total to donate to Goodwill, which she is required to do. "I know there are so many nice people in the world, but I haven't seen any today. Thank you so much."

I chatted, told her making her day made my day, and we'd have to do it again one day soon. I made a point of not slowing her down since there was still a line, but she was smiling when I left. Yes, I rounded up--to the nearest five bucks.

 

[Unimportant]

Today I was at Goodwill (a thrift store) that had one cash register open when there should have been two, a line several people long the whole time I was there.

When it was my turn at last, I did my usual. How's your day going, looks like you've barely had time to breathe, that sort of thing. And she started to cry, because people had been nothing but impatient and unkind, several yelling at her for asking if they wanted to round up their total to donate to Goodwill, which she is required to do. "I know there are so many nice people in the world, but I haven't seen any today. Thank you so much."

I chatted, told her making her day made my day, and we'd have to do it again one day soon. I made a point of not slowing her down since there was still a line, but she was smiling when I left. Yes, I rounded up--to the nearest five bucks.

Dearly Beloved and I always round up to the nearest 10 at thrift stores. It's not a thing that's ever asked for here, but we do it because they're all selling stuff to benefit excellent charities like Hospice and Red Cross and St John's Ambulance and SPCA. And we always make a point of thanking the cashiers, who are quite often volunteers, for doing the good work they do. They always seem surprised, which is kind of sad.

 

[Maryn]

I swear, I'm really not all that amazingly nice. But it happened again today. A fabric-and-crafts store, should have been two cashiers but only one working, long line, impatient shoppers.

I'd seen her before; she made the intricate beaded band on her hat. I said hello and that I saw she had a nametag that said Lisa but to me she'll always be beaded hatband woman. End of niceness. One of my fabric cuts wouldn't ring up for her, and she said, "The heck with it. You have a nice afternoon!" and I got it at no cost. Eight bucks.

Maryn, who should shop at fine jewelers, eh?

 

[MaeZe]

Maryn, last year in the OP:

I'm all right with my own company and my online friends. (Hi, everybody!)

Hi friend. You are one of the nicest people in this forum and I'm not counting your experiences you posted about here.

 

[Maryn]

What a nice thing to say! I suspect my longtime policy of not posting when I’m cranky is paying off at last.

 

[Brigid Barry]

What a nice thing to say! I suspect my longtime policy of not posting when I’m cranky is paying off at last.

But when you're cranky I feel accepted. It works in both directions and sticking a balance is important.

 

[froztytrailz]

My in-laws have lived their lives with an open home policy. Their generosity is absolutely boundless; I have never met kinder people. They ask for nothing in return. They have taken in people from all over the world who needed a place to stay through school exchange programs, people posting on facebook, etc. Now, my partner and I are traveling the world, and so many of these people have insisted that we stay with them, sometimes for months. Their kindness has paid dividends and created a small worldwide community. They are massive role models to me.