Fortunately...unfortunately

[CDSinex]

… in addition to a near inexhaustible supply of houses for dropping on people, she has a number of government surplus chain-link enclosures at her disposal. She drops, one surrounding herself and the mob, then levitates out while she smiles and waves at them. Unfortunately...

 

[druid12000]

...the pain from your mangled ankle causes a sudden wave of faintness and you stumble into the impromptu enclosure as it settles around you and the mob. Fortunately...

 

[Nymtoc]

...you see, a few feet away from you, a small vial labeled "Ankle-B-Good." Could this be the solution to your musculo-skeletal problem? You open the vial and take a big swallow. Unfortunately...

 

[druid12000]

...you read the warning label after taking the dose. 'Not to be taken orally, may cause bloating, vomiting, growth of extraneous limbs, uncontrollable laser vision, and gas'. Fortunately...

 

[Woollybear]

The laser vision comes with a ray-gun booster pack and you zing-zang-zippo all the mobsters with the power of your eyes. So. Cool. Man. Unfortunately,

 

[druid12000]

...an errant blast cleanly sheers one of Glinda's wings, causing her to spiral to Earth like a downed Sopwith Camel. Fortunately...

 

[Nymtoc]

...a woman who uncannily resembles Glinda appears from a bubble and says, "Hi, I'm Brinda, Glinda's identical twin, and I'm taking over the territory till Glinda recovers. What can I do for you?" Unfortunately...

 

[druid12000]

...the other side effects of the Ankle-B-Good begin to kick in with a vengeance. An arm begins growing from your forehead, tiny misshapen fingers finding Brinda's hair, while vomit spews down the front of her pristine white dress. Within seconds a noxious cloud of flatulence envelops the area. Fortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

she's married, so she's used to that kind of thing happening. Unfortunately...

 

[druid12000]

...seeing the ring on her finger, and knowing there could never be a future with this lovely nymph, triggers the final side effect; your entire body begins to swell to gross proportions. Fortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

a casting director for the newest Incredible Hulk movie (still in pre-production) sees what you did and asks, "Can you do that on command?" Unfortunately...

 

[druid12000]

...the strain of all that's happened is too great for your mind to properly register and you faint before you can answer. You awaken some time later strapped to a gurney in the back of an ambulance. Brinda is riding shotgun up front and an EMT with shifty eyes is seated beside you. Fortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

... Brinda, sensing your trepidation, reassures you that, "These people work for me. We're taking you to a hospital that specializes in your type of ailment." Unfortunately...

 

[druid12000]

...the rear passenger side tire bursts, sending the ambulance careening out of control. Fortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

the parks department workers had left a huge, three storey (story?) high pile of leaves they removed from the park. Your car plows into it and stops immediately. Unfortunately …

 

[Woollybear]

you still have that arm, the one growing out your forehead. It hasn't stopped growing. It's so long now that when you're flung off the gurney by impact, your head-arm hits the ground palm-first, and you basically catapult over your arm, past the cushiony pillow of leaves, and into a humongous patch of nettles. Fortunately,

 

[druid12000]

...the head-arm is far less sensitive to pain and drags you from the nettles virtually unscathed. Unfortunately...

 

[Woollybear]

...you are so gobsmacked at how useful this head-arm is, which has elongated at this point to a full twelve feet--not long for a run-of-the-mill giant octopus or squid tentacle, but plenty respectable for you, a young lad from Lancashire--and you decide to commission a ceremonial sleeve for your new appendage. Despite being flat broke. Fortunately,

 

[druid12000]

...Blinda, God-like entity that she is, knows your heart's desire without you speaking a word. A magnificent satin sleeve, complete with gold leaf and cufflink, surrounds your head-arm. Tiny trumpets appear from the nettles and blare regally. Unfortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

the sleeve is way too big and the forehead end droops down, well past your eyes, blocking your sight as you try to walk to safety. Fortunately …

 

[Woollybear]

that ever-growing mutant head-arm is now sprouting eyes on each fingertip. Unfortunately,

 

[druid12000]

...the fingertip-eyes are nearsighted, making you unable to clearly see the open manhole before you. Blackness engulfs your new fingertip-eyes as you fall into the sewer. Fortunately...

 

[Woollybear]

sewer rats are friendly, and extraordinarily large. Three of them happily cushion your fall. Unfortunately,

 

[druid12000]

...the procession of the Sewer Rat King happens to be making it's somber way through the tunnels at that moment. Dressed in ill-fitting rags, he eyes your silk head-arm sleeve with envy and orders you stripped of your vestments. Fortunately,

 

[Woollybear]

he's also in search of a bride, and you've always wanted to be a Queen. You disrobe on the condition that he marry you. Unfortunately,