Fortunately...unfortunately

[druid12000]

...your new appendage has plans of its own and slaps the rat King repeatedly, knocking his crown into the fetid water. Fortunately,

 

[CDSinex]

Someone reaches into the fetid water, fishes out the crown, rinses it off, hands it to you, and proclaims, "You are our new king now!" Unfortunately ...

 

[Woollybear]

... you heard 'nuking' instead of 'new king' and your first act is to order the launch of all intersewer ballistic missiles. Fortunately,

 

[druid12000]

...rat technology is not very advanced so the 'nukes' are little more than catapults of (gak!) sewage. Disgusting, of course, but mostly harmless. Unfortunately,

 

[CDSinex]

... this "fun" thread has sat for the better part of year, fortunately ...

 

[M.S. Wiggins]

...the patient faithful and loyal will resurrect it. The heathen others, unfortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

will place us on a dark street corner with several unsavory characters milling about. Fortunately ...

 

[M.S. Wiggins]

I happen to like unsavory characters, so I’ll engage and ask questions and study their responses and take notes and ask more follow-up questions and… Unfortunately ...

 

[llyralen]

They are now very clingy, asking to stay in the spare room, going through the medicine cabinet “just to see,” and hinting about other friends who could use some help. Fortunately…

 

[Catriona Grace]

the house is hit by an infestation of cats, to which all the unsavory people are allergic, causing them to leave the premises. Unfortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

The cats are flea and tick infested, and refuse to leave. Fortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

... the town is sponsoring free flea and tick baths at the fire station on Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately...

 

[M.S. Wiggins]

... washing cats will cause chaos and bloodshed. Fortunately...

 

[Catriona Grace]

there is a documentary team in town who will pay handsomely for films of cat-caused blood and gore. Unfortunately...

 

[CMBright]

An EMP device was set off and no digital cameras or other electronics in town work.
Fortunately...

 

[Catriona Grace]

they had a 1962 vintage Kodak movie camera. Unfortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

none of the shops in town still carry Super 8 film, and special order could take weeks. Fortunately...

 

[M.S. Wiggins]

…there’s an available flight out of crazy town. Unfortunately…

 

[CDSinex]

... the TSA has been following your exploits on this thread for some time and placed you on their Special-Super-Secret No-Fly list. Fortunately...

 

[CMBright]

... the TSA has been following your exploits on this thread for some time and placed you on their Special-Super-Secret No-Fly list. Fortunately...

That grants you free airfare anywhere, any time., as long as seats are available when you make the reservation.

Unfortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

... all of the flights you're eligible for are non-stop to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Fortunately...

 

[M.S. Wiggins]

... there's a Rent-a-Raft kiosk on the beach. Unfortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

... the fellow at the kiosk explains that because a hurricane is bearing down on the area they require a $1,000 security deposit, which will be refunded when, and if, you return the undamaged raft. Fortunately...

 

[CDSinex]

you still have checks for the joint account you share with your soon to be former spouse. Unfortunately . . .

 

[M.S. Wiggins]

my raft drifted toward an uninhabited island, "Or so you thought it was uninhabited," said my soon to be former spouse. Fortunately...