Fortunately...unfortunately

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CDSinex

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… in addition to a near inexhaustible supply of houses for dropping on people, she has a number of government surplus chain-link enclosures at her disposal. She drops, one surrounding herself and the mob, then levitates out while she smiles and waves at them. Unfortunately...
 

Nymtoc

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...you see, a few feet away from you, a small vial labeled "Ankle-B-Good." Could this be the solution to your musculo-skeletal problem? You open the vial and take a big swallow. Unfortunately...
 

Woollybear

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The laser vision comes with a ray-gun booster pack and you zing-zang-zippo all the mobsters with the power of your eyes. So. Cool. Man. Unfortunately,
 

Nymtoc

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...a woman who uncannily resembles Glinda appears from a bubble and says, "Hi, I'm Brinda, Glinda's identical twin, and I'm taking over the territory till Glinda recovers. What can I do for you?" Unfortunately...
 

druid12000

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...the other side effects of the Ankle-B-Good begin to kick in with a vengeance. An arm begins growing from your forehead, tiny misshapen fingers finding Brinda's hair, while vomit spews down the front of her pristine white dress. Within seconds a noxious cloud of flatulence envelops the area. Fortunately...
 
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CDSinex

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she's married, so she's used to that kind of thing happening. Unfortunately...
 

CDSinex

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a casting director for the newest Incredible Hulk movie (still in pre-production) sees what you did and asks, "Can you do that on command?" Unfortunately...
 

druid12000

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...the strain of all that's happened is too great for your mind to properly register and you faint before you can answer. You awaken some time later strapped to a gurney in the back of an ambulance. Brinda is riding shotgun up front and an EMT with shifty eyes is seated beside you. Fortunately...
 

CDSinex

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... Brinda, sensing your trepidation, reassures you that, "These people work for me. We're taking you to a hospital that specializes in your type of ailment." Unfortunately...
 

CDSinex

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the parks department workers had left a huge, three storey (story?) high pile of leaves they removed from the park. Your car plows into it and stops immediately. Unfortunately …
 

Woollybear

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you still have that arm, the one growing out your forehead. It hasn't stopped growing. It's so long now that when you're flung off the gurney by impact, your head-arm hits the ground palm-first, and you basically catapult over your arm, past the cushiony pillow of leaves, and into a humongous patch of nettles. Fortunately,
 

Woollybear

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...you are so gobsmacked at how useful this head-arm is, which has elongated at this point to a full twelve feet--not long for a run-of-the-mill giant octopus or squid tentacle, but plenty respectable for you, a young lad from Lancashire--and you decide to commission a ceremonial sleeve for your new appendage. Despite being flat broke. Fortunately,
 

druid12000

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...Blinda, God-like entity that she is, knows your heart's desire without you speaking a word. A magnificent satin sleeve, complete with gold leaf and cufflink, surrounds your head-arm. Tiny trumpets appear from the nettles and blare regally. Unfortunately...
 

CDSinex

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the sleeve is way too big and the forehead end droops down, well past your eyes, blocking your sight as you try to walk to safety. Fortunately …
 

Woollybear

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that ever-growing mutant head-arm is now sprouting eyes on each fingertip. Unfortunately,
 

Woollybear

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sewer rats are friendly, and extraordinarily large. Three of them happily cushion your fall. Unfortunately,
 

druid12000

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...the procession of the Sewer Rat King happens to be making it's somber way through the tunnels at that moment. Dressed in ill-fitting rags, he eyes your silk head-arm sleeve with envy and orders you stripped of your vestments. Fortunately,
 

Woollybear

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he's also in search of a bride, and you've always wanted to be a Queen. You disrobe on the condition that he marry you. Unfortunately,