BTW, a deaf music blogger isn't a gimmick, and if someone is telling you it is then I would advise you to stop listening to them.
Complete opposite, I have never been told to use my disability in any way regards my work, so I am not beginning now. No one told me it's a gimmick, I'm making sure that it isn't made to seem like one either. This is a memoir and I'm a person with a long story, not just a deaf music blogger, so it can't just be pigeonholed down to my hearing problem and my job, the help I received at rock bottom or the four schools I was expelled from. I have only
published one article on the matter (at the request of a curious individual) to inform my readers of the true nature of my condition, and then like all disabilities should be, it's noted and we get on with the proper order of business: good music. That is not to diminish the extent of my hearing problem. It's very bad but I was held back by deafness for a long time, and then I found a way to overcome it. It has no bearing on my enjoyment of life and I am the same as my peers, so I have no intention of using it to sell my story. It's important to mention but ultimately inconsequential, but if I didn't give it the proper status - say by, writing this book as a music blogger who got a chance to do well as a result of altruism despite a disadvantaged background - in the end, people would find out I'm deaf. Then there would be all kinds of questions like 'Why did you hide that? Are you ashamed?' - I've never hid it, I just adapted to the world the way I did, so I must explain that and then move on to the rest of the book.
The pitch exercise is, at this point, to test yourself how well you know your story rather than a test to see if you're ready to publish your book.
I'm not "testing" how well I know my story, it's my life and I'm outlining my experiences. Testing my story was not the basis of this thread, I came for some advice on working around a blocked first person voice. I get that you're asking me to pin it all down succinctly but that's not something I'm able to do right now, I can't give you the outline and details you're asking for as there is no adequate explanation at this time
other than the completed book itself. While I appreciate the discourse and find it helpful to see all angles through comments from yourself and others, I'm simply not explaining myself well enough for you at this stage because it's still a WIP. It's a non-linear, highly-contextualised study of the crucial elements that contributed to failure as a teenager before success as an adult. So I keep spreading myself thinly as I try to explain to you all the different aspects of the story. I'm sorry that you're bogged down in this but it's difficult to adequately pitch until I finish writing and fine tune my interpretation with the clarity it deserves, or at least until I can post examples here for you to understand my intentions.
And it seems you're an award-winning musician? Totally lost because you talk about blog awards in the same breath.
No, the awards were for the best blogs in Ireland. I was shortlisted as soon as I began blogging, they're held every year (I didn't win, the same guy has won for 5 years in a row). That was meant to be an indication of the immediate impact my work made as soon as I was published despite the fact I had no prior professional experience as a music writer. I went on to write for magazines, newspapers, websites, present TV and radio along with various other things like organising gigs and events, working in a consultant capacity for large businesses investing in local arts, and much more. This country is absolutely tiny but culturally thriving so the simple fact is that once I got a break, my talent outed. I also mentor emerging artists along with budding writers and offer free advice on the music scene. I work the way I do because I want to share the goodwill of helping others because I appreciate the difference a small gesture can make.
Despite this, I'm still just the scum of the earth. Oh yeah.
regarding woman's work - what has that got to do with anything?
Because I appreciate you asking these questions in the first place I'm going to try and give you the full scope of details you want to know, but I really cannot go any further without examples of writing.
The role of work in my life as woman - Work presaged my birth, peppered my childhood, I got my first job and my first period on the same day, I left school at 14 to work, I worked any damn job I could find until I was 18 when my first child was conceived, and I found work again, work of a type I never dreamed I would achieve. I talk about being a writer and thinker all my life and yet in the official sense, am worthless because I never finished school and claimed support from the government because I was 'foolish' to get knocked up as a teenager and as a result my 'type' is considered a write-off. Despite what I have carved out in the professional field, I still can't support my children myself, and am broadening my wings from music writing to fully-immersed longform, first in memoir, next with fiction. Are you aware of what life is like in Ireland: the hold the Catholic Church has upon our society and the prejudice dispensed across sections of society? The same people who campaign to keep abortion illegal are the same who campaigned against social welfare and rights for single parents. My mother was adopted from the Magdalene Laundries run by the Sisters of Charity as a result of being born out of wedlock (hate that term) in the 1950s where pregnant women were indefinitely incarcerated in prison-like industrial homes and forced to work up to term, even if they had been raped or abused or had left a violent partner or had been deserted. The babies were taken away and placed in good Catholic homes. Those who were not homed were ritually abused by priests and nuns. It's extremely well-documented. My mother is a broken, vicious wreck of a person who allowed the worst of life to wear her down, even though I saw her single-handedly lift us out of poverty through her will to leave the home and work when she too became an unmarried mother with no support. She left the home too much though and went too far. When the same happened to me, I began to feel I had no right to live and defective genes were sure to plague my own children too and I battled severe depression by trying to figure out the best thing I could do for all my family. I am the only sane adult of us all and it all falls to me to see them safe when they are drunk or manic and violent or psychotic, and I have my children's wellbeing to manage too, and no choice other than to choose to bear it all. What would a strong woman do? Kill the problem, chop out the root, kill my mother, myself and my children in order to finally end the vicious cycle? Or refuse to give in and find a way out despite the odds? I had to make tough decisions because life is hard work, and as a woman, there are aspects of this hard life that a man would not have faced. I clawed up some community college courses, and then actually managed to make good on them. I didn't just get a job. I didn't just get a career or a reputation. I got respect...and that is one single factor missing all my life and it was the key to discarding the desolation I felt about my role in the world. I know that my talents have been recognised, that anything else which I might achieve will be superfluous because I have reached a point in life where it's already enough. Enough is a wonderful, wonderful feeling after a long life of nothing. And wow, what came next? Proof for my children that nothing can ever hold us back as long as we find a way to keep believing in ourselves. I am A Strong Woman Who Does The Right Thing. My work is never, ever done. But I am now going to focus on writing books so that I can find an extra path towards the security of the future I now want to build, and this book is itself a piece of work that I hope will shape the future of my prospects in this country.
there's something you're not telling, something that scares the crap out of you.
I'm protecting my major twists in the story is all, I don't want to give away the scariest and craziest bits and dilute the power of their placement in the work.