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FAQ: Flouncing Properly via a Brave Exit Speech Template

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Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

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PattiTheWicked

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You know, with all the flouncing, pouting, foot stomping and tantrum throwing we see here at AW, I thought I'd do something helpful for a change and offer those of you who are about to quit AW a hand. Rather than having to come up with your own Brave Exit Speech, feel free to choose one of these handy-dandy pre-made templates to suit your purpose. Simply Cut'n'Paste the one that's right for you!

1. You're All Mean!
I can't believe you guys are such poo heads! Quit picking on me! That's it, I'm never coming back! I hate you!

2. I'm Far Too Good To Post Here
Yeah, that's right, you heard me. I'm a way better writer than any of you will EVER be, so I'm not wasting any more time here. Losers.

3. Negativity Makes Baby Kittens Cry
I can't be around you people any more. Every time I log on, which is about forty-seven times each day, I see people spreading hurtful and unkind things. Why can't we all just hold hands and sing Kumbaya? We're supposed to support other writers, not be negative. I'm so depressed, I'm leaving now.

4. No One Likes My Writing, So I'm Outta Here
I posted a 47,000 word extract on SYW in a 8-point font, and not a single damn one of you has had anything to say, except for one guy who said he'd read it later and never did even though that was yesterday and he shoulda had time to look at it by now, and since you all SAY to share your work but then you never read what people post so I think you're all a bunch of poser a$$hole wannabes! Nyah!!

5. The Lurkers Love Me In Email
Look, I posted my opinions in that one thread in TIO, and you're all being so freakin' CRITICAL, but I've gotten a bunch of emails from people who tell me I'm the one who's right. Can I help it if this is like high school and there's a bunch of cliques where the popular people stick up for each other? Huh? Huh?

6. Logical Fallacies
You're all a bunch of Nazis.

7. It's Haskins' Fault
william haskins is mean to me and the moderators let him say bad things and he doesn't even use capital letters and how come no one ever bans the mean people?!?!?!?!?

8. Expletives and Spelling Errors Abound
[deleted]

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the good folks at Patti's House of Grand Indifference.

Please feel free to add your own Brave Exit Speech template, as a way of saying "I care!"
 

Sean D. Schaffer

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Cool! Thanks for the help. I might just use one of these the next time I want to leave for all of ten minutes...
 

scarletpeaches

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We need a ceremonial feather boa. You know, something to SWISH petulantly on the way out.
 

aadams73

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Totally fab!

I have to add that number 1 is usually misspelled: Your all mean!
 

Rolling Thunder

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I'm Far Too Good To Post Here
Yeah, that's right, you heard me. I'm a way better writer than any of you will EVER be, so I'm not wasting any more time here. Losers.

So...did I capture the right essence by using #2?
 

alleycat

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9. I'm leaving! I really am. I''m not posting anymore.

9a. I am leaving. I'm never posting here again!

9c. This time I'm leaving for good!

9d. I'm really leaving and never posting again here again ever, ever, ever!

9e. I've had enough. I'm not posting anymore.

9f. This is it! I'm leaving!
 

Ol' Fashioned Girl

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Why is it always Haskins? Haskinshaskinshaskins! Why can't it be Ol' Fashioned Girl's fault for a change!?

Kiss my butt! I'm outta here! You people are all cliquish Nazi Fascists and aadams73 warned me about y'all in email! I'm better'n yule ever be! Pigs! Cats! Dogs! Gophers! Phuc Ewe!
 

Unique

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:roll:oh you guys crack me up.

the best was to 'flounce' out is to >poof< disappear. make 'em come looking for you.... you know, so you have a reason to come back and flounce again.
:ROFL:
 

SC Harrison

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10. My Doctor Says AW is Bad For Me.

Due to the extremely high stress of reading the selfish and hurtful posts on this forum, I have developed NEPS (Nervous Ear Pulling Syndrome). Although rarely fatal (one guy lost his balance free-climbing), it can be painful and debilitating, and the healing process is always interrupted by more ear pulling. I really want to stay and defend those who are being picked on, but I just can't take it anymore.
 

veinglory

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#9: You just don't understand me

You are all so unreasonable. So I called you *&^%$ @$$%%, but it was clearly a joke/a parody/my right or free speech and you should all develop a sense of humor/be less dumb/stop censoring me.
 

poetinahat

hatters gonna hat
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10) You Can't Handle The Truth!

The Man Thinks He Can Keep Me Down. He Keep On Deletin All My Posts. But I Know The Truth Will Be Heard. So Hear This Punks You Cant Sencer The Truth. You Know. Ill Own Your As$s Some Day And Youll Be Sorry. Later Suckas.
 

scarletpeaches

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11. You're all a bunch of loosers who spend so much time here talking about writing that you never get any writing done or if u do its all crappy rubbish no one will read and i'll be published and famous ha ah lick my boots loosers!
 

Medievalist

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I'm probably gonna come back later today, and move allayers posts to the original thread, and make this a genuwine FAQ. We need to maybe explain things like Lurkers, and Flouncing, and Godwin's Law, and Bingo . . .
 

Pat~

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12. Please Ban Me

Your all a bunch of loosers and have nuthing better to do with you're time and talent then write on a messageboard so I'm leaving. I can't understand people who spend all there time on forums instead of doing Serious Writing.

Oh, and Mac, would you ban me so I can't come back here anymore?
 
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Shwebb

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I'm all out of flounces, or I'd have been flouncing long ago.

Where does one buy a flounce?

I'd also have taken my marbles and gone home, but I lost all of them.

Leaving this place ain't as easy as it sounds. Sorta like Hotel California.
 

Medievalist

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12. Please Ban Me

Your all a bunch of loosers and have nuthing better to do with you're time and talent then write on a messageboard so I'm leaving. I can't understand people who spend all there time on forums instead of doing Serious Writing.

Oh, and Mac, would you ban me so I can't come back here anymore?

Pat~ I'm impressed with your deep understanding of characterization and the psychology of the flouncer.

That's classic.
 

Pat~

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Pat~ I'm impressed with your deep understanding of characterization and the psychology of the flouncer.

That's classic.

Thanks. I'll admit, it's taken hours of study here.;)
 
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