AW's Super-Dooper Newbie Pub Where Newbies Can Chat With Golden Oldies

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Editing for authors: because every writer needs a good editor.

Lea123

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Welcome to the party! Pumpkins as helmets are optional, of course, but nobody would look at you funny if you decided to wear one
What happens if you get the pumpkin helmet stuck on your head? Can you still order? Is there the option of a straw?

Asking for a friend... 👀
 
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Izz

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What happens if you get the pumpkin helmet stuck on your head? Can you still order? Is there the option of a straw?

Asking for a friend... 👀
We have special curly straws for just such an occasion. You'd be amazed how many pumpkin helmets get stuck at this time of year.

Tell your... friend... to come on in and get their drink on. And tell them not to worry, the helmet will rot off in a month or so :e2paperba
 

Imaginaryist

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Just a water for me thanks. I know it sounds far to... simple and dull, but I just all my food decisions should be saved for my writing and conversations, not necessarily my choices in drinks. I 😊
 

Izz

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Just a water for me thanks. I know it sounds far to... simple and dull, but I just all my food decisions should be saved for my writing and conversations, not necessarily my choices in drinks. I 😊
Here you go. The wateriest water you could possibly imagine, and I'm sure you could imagine some very watery water!
 

Kuranes

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*Opens the door. Takes a confident step in, then falls flat on his face.*

OOF! Seriously? They added stairs to the entry way?!

*Gets up, brushes himself off. Looks around.*

Jeez, this place looks different. I was just getting used to the last layout. Oh well, at least it's back open now, I can relax, and....

*Eyes dart around to every corner of the pub.*

...it's missing. My table is missing. Did they...?

*Marches to the door to the back room. Pushes it open, and hits the light switch.*

Of cooooooourse. Ugh.

*Disappears into the back room. The sounds of grunting and moving furniture are heard. Reappears in the doorway after a few minutes, pulling a solid gold table along the floor with a screeeeeeeeeeeeeech.*

Ungh... always...hnng...moving....my...rrrgggh...stuff.

*Finally manages to pull the table to a desirable location near the bar. Stretches out his back, panting and covered with sweat.*

Whew! Now I can relax.

*Steps behind bar, eyes on the iced coffee machine. Takes a confident step behind the bar, then disappears. Sounds of a person falling down stairs is heard from behind the bar.*

GAH! Who put a trapdoor here?!
 
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Izz

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*Disappears into the back room. The sounds of grunting and moving furniture are heard. Reappears in the doorway after a few minutes, pulling a solid gold table along the floor with a screeeeeeeeeeeeeech.*

Ungh... always...hnng...moving....my...rrrgggh...stuff.

*Finally manages to pull the table to a desirable location near the bar. Stretches out his back, panting and covered with sweat.*
I did wonder who brought the gold table. And yeah, sorry about the bite mark on the corner, there. I thought it might be one of the gold-covered chocolate tables that they give out to winners of those Best Seated competitions. I've always been told I'd be good at those but anyway...
Whew! Now I can relax.

*Steps behind bar, eyes on the iced coffee machine. Takes a confident step behind the bar, then disappears. Sounds of a person falling down stairs is heard from behind the bar.*

GAH! Who put a trapdoor here?!
Ah, sorry again! There's been a gaggle of plot bunnies rampaging through the bar and I thought placing plot holes around the place might catch a few. But it seems they're far better at catching thirsty writers...

Here, have a complimentary extra-icy coffee. The hamsters running the wheel inside the machine tell me this is their best iced coffee yet!
 
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Unimportant

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I did wonder who brought the gold table. And yeah, sorry about the bite mark on the corner, there. I thought it might be one of the gold-covered chocolate tables that they give out to winners of those Best Seated competitions. I've always been told I'd be good at those but anyway...

Ah, sorry again! There's been a gaggle of plot bunnies rampaging through the bar and I thought placing plot holes around the place might catch a few. But it seems they're far better at catching thirsty writers...

Here, have a complimentary extra-icy coffee. The hamsters running the wheel inside the machine tell me this is their best iced coffee yet!
Don't touch the coffee, Kuranes. The hamsters peed in it.
 
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Maryn

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Do you still carry the Blended Hamster? I'll take a virgin one, since it's still early.

Maryn, huddling over her usual table in the shadowy corner
 
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Izz

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It's been one of those weeks.
Well, in that case let me make one special for you...
Do you still carry the Blended Hamster? I'll take a virgin one, since it's still early.

Maryn, huddling over her usual table in the shadowy corner
We do, though it contains much less hamster now (they've unionized, you see). Hmm, a virgin Blended Hamster is really just a Blended, too, so lemme throw some pulpy, colorful fruits in there to give it the right feel.
 

RMarie

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Howdy everybody. I'll avoid falling down the stairs or through the plot holes around the bar. Anyone got a spiked eggnog? Could use one after a busy session of NaNoWrimo.
 

Izz

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Howdy everybody. I'll avoid falling down the stairs or through the plot holes around the bar. Anyone got a spiked eggnog? Could use one after a busy session of NaNoWrimo.
Here's the spikiest eggnog we've got. It's the stalagmite special!
 

Kuranes

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*Walks in, newspaper under his arm. Hangs up jacket on a nearby peg, then clicks his heels together. Bright blue jets shoot from hidden jets near his ankles, and he hovers off the ground.*

Hi everyone.

*Floats behind the bar, pulling a scanner out of his pocket. Scans the iced coffee machine, and holds it up. A few seconds later, the screen on the scanner illuminates and prints out words:

Hamster Urine Concentration (ppm): 0.021743*

I can live with that.

*Pours a tall iced coffee with lots of milk, then floats to his gold table. Clicks off his hover jets, and opens his newspaper. Notices a new bite on the edge of the table.*

Hmmm...oh well. It matches the rest of the teeth marks. Gives it character.

Howdy everybody. I'll avoid falling down the stairs or through the plot holes around the bar. Anyone got a spiked eggnog? Could use one after a busy session of NaNoWrimo.

Howdy! I remember there was a machine that made a killer eggnog. It got sent in for repairs after the "spiked" option on the machine was somehow set to Literal mode and it would shoot a six-inch railway spike into the drink. A few people got injured; caused quite an uproar at the time. The owner of the pub swore that was the last time they would purchase an appliance from Monty Python Beverages, Ltd.

The new machine, I'm told, is much safer and far less silly.
 
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RMarie

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Howdy! I remember there was a machine that made a killer eggnog. It got sent in for repairs after the "spiked" option on the machine was somehow set to Literal mode and it would shoot a six-inch railway spike into the drink. A few people got injured; caused quite an uproar at the time. The owner of the pub swore that was the last time they would purchase an appliance from Monty Python Beverages, Ltd.

The new machine, I'm told, is much safer and far less silly.
Lol, glad to hear my 'killer eggnog' will no longer be in a literal sense! Thank you, Izz, for the stalagmite special. :)

*sips, goes cross-eyed at its powerful punch.

Ah, that hit the spot!
 
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Richard White

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*Walks in, newspaper under his arm. Hangs up jacket on a nearby peg, then clicks his heels together. Bright blue jets shoot from hidden jets near his ankles, and he hovers off the ground.*

Hi everyone.

*Floats behind the bar, pulling a scanner out of his pocket. Scans the iced coffee machine, and holds it up. A few seconds later, the screen on the scanner illuminates and prints out words:

Hamster Urine Concentration (ppm): 0.021743*

I can live with that.

*Pours a tall iced coffee with lots of milk, then floats to his gold table. Clicks off his hover jets, and opens his newspaper. Notices a new bite on the edge of the table.*

Hmmm...oh well. It matches the rest of the teeth marks. Gives it character.



Howdy! I remember there was a machine that made a killer eggnog. It got sent in for repairs after the "spiked" option on the machine was somehow set to Literal mode and it would shoot a six-inch railway spike into the drink. A few people got injured; caused quite an uproar at the time. The owner of the pub swore that was the last time they would purchase an appliance from Monty Python Beverages, Ltd.

The new machine, I'm told, is much safer and far less silly.
Hey,

Does anyone know why we have all these crates marked Acme Inc. in the dumpster out back?
 

Darm Magician

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Hello, is there a chance to chat with people one on one but scared of the whole forum thing ATM haha
 

Unimportant

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Hello, is there a chance to chat with people one on one but scared of the whole forum thing ATM haha
It's fine to lurk and read till you feel comfortable here.

We don't bite, and we're specially gentle with new members, so it's fine to just say 'hi' on whichever threads you're reading. If there's someone you need to contact with a private question, you can message them using the little envelope icon at the top right of the page (in between the image of your avatar and the bell shaped icon).
 
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Darm Magician

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It's fine to lurk and read till you feel comfortable here.

We don't bite, and we're specially gentle with new members, so it's fine to just say 'hi' on whichever threads you're reading. If there's someone you need to contact with a private question, you can message them using the little envelope icon at the top right of the page (in between the image of your avatar and the bell shaped icon).
Thank you
 

Iris Tea

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Hello! I'm Iris, and completely new to this. Could I have some sparkling cider?
 
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sonder_siri

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Hey, do you happen to have any soda options?

Also, I’m interested in these supposed monsters under the bed. Such a subtle mention of something so interesting 🤨
 

Elizabeth George's book Write Away